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psycho Notandi frá fornöld 44 ára karlmaður
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Vcd !!! (5 álit)

í Kvikmyndir fyrir 23 árum, 7 mánuðum

tilvist þess að þú getur ná þér í myndir í gegnum netið, hvað bíður þetta upp á? er það ekki birjað núna eins og með geisladiskana að þú getur farið að skrifa staðin fyrir að kaupa. ég hef feingið í hendurnar myndir eins og ap2 og knights tale og verið að horfa á þær í tölvuni hjá mér staðin fyrir að fara á þær í bíó. getur verið að í framtíðinni verður það þannig að við förum ekki í bíó leigjum ekki spólur heldur förum bara á netið og náum okkur í myndirnar. já mundi ég segja því að það...

Hvað hefur þú lesið mikið af bröndurunum sem eru á kokinum? (0 álit)

í Húmor fyrir 23 árum, 7 mánuðum

Locked Car (0 álit)

í Húmor fyrir 23 árum, 7 mánuðum

Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger, but they couldn't. The girl with the coat hanger stopped for a moment to catch her breath, and her friend said anxiously, “Hurry up! It's starting to rain and the top is down!” <br><br><b>****************************************************************************************** I do what I do, I am who I am, if you don´t like it……PISS OFF -psycho 2001</b> líttu á heima síðuna mína <a...

Bad Dandruff (0 álit)

í Húmor fyrir 23 árum, 7 mánuðum

A blonde and a brunette were standing in an elevator with a guy, the brunette whispers to the blonde, “Man that guy has some bad dandruff, he needs to get some Head and Shoulders.” The blonde then whispers back to the brunette, “I know how to give head, but how do you give shoulders?” <br><br><b>****************************************************************************************** I do what I do, I am who I am, if you don´t like it……PISS OFF -psycho 2001</b> líttu á heima síðuna mína <a...

Apple Vs. Microsoft (0 álit)

í Húmor fyrir 23 árum, 7 mánuðum

Three Microsoft engineers and three Apple employees are traveling by train to a computer conference. At the station, the three Microsoft engineers each buy tickets and watch as the three Apple employees buy only a single ticket. “How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?” asks a Microsoft engineer. “Watch and you'll see,” answers the Apple employee. They all board the train. The Microsoft engineers take their respective seats, but all three Apple employees cram into a restroom...

Worms (0 álit)

í Húmor fyrir 23 árum, 7 mánuðum

A little boy and his grandfather are raking leaves in the yard. The little boy sees an earthworm trying to get back into its hole. He says, “Grandpa, I bet I can put that worm back in that hole.” The grandfather replies, “I'll bet you five dollars you can't. It's too wiggly and limp to put back in that little hole.” The little boy runs into the house and comes back out with a can of hair spray. He sprays the worm until it is straight and stiff as a board. The boy then proceeds to put the...

Signs You're Suffering From Semester Burnout (0 álit)

í Húmor fyrir 23 árum, 7 mánuðum

* You're so tired, that you now answer the phone, “Hell” instead of Hello. * Mom calls to ask how you've been, and you immediately scream, “Get off my back, bitch!” * When your parents inquire about your grades, you sing the Cookie Monster song: “C is for cookie, that's good enough for me…” * You wake up to discover your bed is on fire, but go back to sleep because you just don't care. * You've got so much on your mind, you've forgotten how to pee. * Just to take a break from studying, you...

Little Johnny Jokes 4 (0 álit)

í Húmor fyrir 23 árum, 7 mánuðum

A Teacher asks the children to discuss what their Dad's do for a living. Little Mary says: “My Dad is a lawyer. He puts the bad guys in jail.” Little Jack says: “My Dad is a doctor. He makes all the sick people better.” All the kids in the class had their turn except Little Johnny. The teacher says: “Johnny, what does your Dad do?” Johnny says: “My Dad is dead.” “I'm sorry to hear that, but what did he do before he died ?” “He turned blue and shit on the carpet.” ——————————————————————————–...

Little Johnny Jokes 3 (0 álit)

í Húmor fyrir 23 árum, 7 mánuðum

A pastor was giving a lesson to a group of children on the 23rd Psalm. He noticed that one of the little boys seemed disquieted by the phrase “Surely, goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life…” “What's wrong with that, Johnny?” the pastor asked. “Well,” answered Johnny, “I understand about having goodness and mercy, for God is good. But I'm not sure I'd like Shirley following me around all the time.” Little Johnny's father sat down next to him on the couch one day and said,...

Little Johnny Jokes 2 (0 álit)

í Húmor fyrir 23 árum, 7 mánuðum

A mother bought her little boy a new set of Legos, but he was having trouble building something with them and complained to his mother. She told him to go down the street and watch the carpenters who were building a new house and maybe he'd get a few ideas. So later in the day he came home and when his mother checked in on him, he'd built this elaborate building and she was quite impressed. She ask if there was anything she could help him with and he replied, “Yeah, could you move that top...

Military Food Chain (0 álit)

í Húmor fyrir 23 árum, 7 mánuðum

A young Second Lieutenant approaches the crusty old CSM and asked about the origin of the commissioned officer insignias. The CSM replied, “It's history and tradition … First we give you a gold bar representing that you are very valuable and also malleable. The silver bar also represents significant value, but is less malleable. When you make Captain, your value doubles, hence the two silver bars. As a Colonel you soar over military masses, hence the eagle. As a General, you are, obviously,...

Three Buttons (enska) (3 álit)

í Húmor fyrir 23 árum, 7 mánuðum

Ég er ekki viss um að alli fatti hann en læt hann flakka Saddam Hussein and Bill Clinton meet up in Baghdad for the first round of talks in a new peace process. When Bill sits down, he notices three buttons on the side of Saddam's chair. They begin talking. After about five minutes Saddam presses the first button. A boxing glove springs out of a box on the desk and punches Clinton in the face. Confused, Clinton carries on talking as Saddam laughs. A few minutes later the second button is...

The ghost of einer beiner (0 álit)

í Húmor fyrir 23 árum, 7 mánuðum

There were two guys and Santa Clause. The first guy goes into a hotel and asks the clerk for a room. The clerk says they only have one room and asks if he'll take it. The guys says sure and goes up to his room. As soon as he walks into the room he sees the ghost. the ghost says “ I'm the ghost of einer beiner, pull down your pants and I'll suck your weiner. The guy gets scared and runs away. The same thing happens to the second guy. Then Santa comes in with the Mrs. and asks if they have a...

Little Johnny On Clinton (0 álit)

í Húmor fyrir 23 árum, 7 mánuðum

The teacher decided to give a pop quiz on this week's spelling words. She asked the students to spell the words and use them in a sentence. Three of the words were: hotel, stigma and homosexual. Little Johnny's answers were: 1. h-o-t-e-l The President asked Monica to keep their affair on the down low, but Linda Tripp made the ho tel. 2. s-t-i-g-m-a The President said to Monica, “I want you to stig ma cigar in your you know what. 3. h-o-m-o-s-e-x-u-a-l The President asked Monica not to wear...

Which Hole? (enska) (1 álit)

í Húmor fyrir 23 árum, 7 mánuðum

A man playing on a new golf course got confused as to what hole he was on. He saw a lady playing ahead of him. He walked up to her and asked if she knew what hole he was playing. She replied, “I'm on the 7th hole, and you're a hole behind me, so you must be on the 6th hole.” He thanked her and went back to his golf. On the back nine, the same thing happened, and he approached the lady again with the same request. She said, “I'm on the 14th, you are a hole behind me, so you must be on the...

Pósturinn (13 álit)

í Húmor fyrir 23 árum, 7 mánuðum

Þetta var síðasti dagurinn hjá póstinum í hverfi sem að hann var búinn að bera út í 30 ár. í fysta húsinu sem að hann fór í þá kom öll fjölskyldan á móti honum og gáfu honum kökur. í næsta húsi var honum gefnir rándýrir vindlar. í þriðjahúsinu tók á móti honum gull falleg ung kona í gegnsæjum kjól og fyrir innann hann var hún ekki í neinu nema sokkaböndum. og leiddi hann upp í svefherbirgi og þar fékk hann einn þann besta drátt sem að hann hafði nokkurntíman fengið. eftir hann þá dró hún...

THIS is TRUE for 15. September 2001 (enska) (0 álit)

í Húmor fyrir 23 árum, 7 mánuðum

WHY, I OUGHTA: Mall security officers in Colma, Calif., called police when they spotted two men trying to break into a locked car with a coat hanger. Investigating officers say they found that John Mack, 50, and Charles Mitchell, 44, had been stealing from stores and came out to their getaway car to find that they had locked their keys inside. Police Chief Bruce Tognetti told reporters that the two were “being stupid in public. It's almost like watching The Three Stooges. But instead,...

Jónas og Magga 286 (0 álit)

í Húmor fyrir 23 árum, 7 mánuðum

Jónas og Guðmundur voru staddir í stórborginni, gengu þar um götur og skoðuðu (kven)mannlífið. Allt í einu hnippir Guðmundur í Jónas og segir „Hey, Jónas, sjáðu þessa rauðhærðu þarna í græna kjólnum!“ „Alls ekki slæm,“ sagði Jónas Stuttu seinna potar Guðmundur í Jónas og segir andstuttur „Váví Jónas maður, sjáðu þessa ljóshærðu þarna í stutta rauða pilsinu!“ „Hmmm, alveg sæmileg,“ sagði Jónas Innan stundar grípur Guðmundur krampataki í handlegginn á Jónasi og segir slefandi „Guð minn góður,...

Jónas og Magga 285 (0 álit)

í Húmor fyrir 23 árum, 7 mánuðum

Jónas kom til Möggu og sagði „Veistu hvað, Magga? Ég er búinn að finna frábæra vinnu. Hún byrjar klukkan 10 á morgnanna, búin klukkan tvö eftir hádegi, engin yfirvinna, engin helgarvinna og kaupið er 60 þúsund á viku!“ „Það er stórkostlegt!“ sagði Magga. „Já, það fannst mér líka,“ sagði Jónas. „Þú byrjar á mánudaginn.“ <br><br><b>****************************************************************************************** I do what I do, I am who I am, if you don´t like it……PISS OFF -psycho...

Jónas og Magga 284 (0 álit)

í Húmor fyrir 23 árum, 7 mánuðum

Magga var búin að fá nóg af Jónasi og fór heim til mömmu til að fá smá samúð. „Þetta er alveg hræðilegt,“ sagði Magga í kvörtunartón. „Það gengur all á móti mér þessa dagana. Engum þykir vænt um mig. Allir í heiminum hata mig!“ og hún grét af tilfinningu ofan í kaffibollann sinn. Mamma hennar ætlaði að hugga hana. „Hvaða vitleysa, Magga mín. Þú hefur ekki hitt alla í heiminum ennþá.“ <br><br><b>****************************************************************************************** I do...

Jónas og Magga 283 (0 álit)

í Húmor fyrir 23 árum, 7 mánuðum

Magga fór að kaupa skó. „Hvernig eru þessir?“ spurði skókaupmaðurinn. „Þeir eru dálítið þröngir,“ sagði Magga. „Prófaðu að toga tunguna út,“ sagði skókaupmaðurinn. „Nei, þeið eðu ennþá þðöngið,“ sagði Magga <br><br><b>****************************************************************************************** I do what I do, I am who I am, if you don´t like it……PISS OFF -psycho 2001</b> líttu á heima síðuna mína <a href="http://kasmir.hugi.is/psycho“ target=”_blank“>hér</a> skrifaðu mér...

The Mime at the Zoo (0 álit)

í Húmor fyrir 23 árum, 7 mánuðum

One day an out-of-work mime is visiting the zoo and attempts to earn some money as a street performer. As soon as he starts to draw a crowd, a zoo keeper grabs him and drags him into his office. The zoo keeper explains to the mime that the zoo's most popular attraction, a gorilla, has died suddenly and the keeper fears that attendance at the zoo will fall off. He offers the mime a job to dress up as the gorilla until they can get another one. The mime accepts. So the next morning the mime...

Magical Mirror (0 álit)

í Húmor fyrir 23 árum, 7 mánuðum

A red head, a brunette, and (of course) a blond walks into a bar. The bartender tells them in the bathroom there is a magical mirror that will give you something good if you tell it the truth. If you lie you get sucked in. The girls liked the idea so they all walked into the bathroom. The brunette said “I think i'm the best looking person in this bar” and out popped out her prize. Next the red-head and went up and said “I think I'm the smartest girl in this bar,” it was the truth so a prize...

The AOL car (0 álit)

í Húmor fyrir 23 árum, 7 mánuðum

THE AOL CAR * The AOL car would have a TOP speed of 40 MPH yet have a 200 MPH speedometer. * The AOL car would come equipped with a NEW and fantastic 8-Track tape player. * The car would often refuse to start and owners would just expect this and try again later. * The windshield would have an extra dark tint to protect the driver from seeing better cars. * AOL would sell the same model car year after year and claim it's the NEW model. * Every now and then the brakes on the AOL car would...

AOL's New Nag Lines (0 álit)

í Húmor fyrir 23 árum, 7 mánuðum

ODE TO HORNY AOL MEN There are so many men that sign on AOL, they enter the chatrooms and say I'm horny as hell. Are they really that stupid and f***ed in the head, do they think we want cyber and not a real date instead? They try to impress us by saying they're buff, when in fact half of them blow their nose on their cuff. They try to convince us they are thoughtful and sweet, but we know when they chat with us they're beating their meat. They tell us they're gorgeous, loving and kind, when...

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