Hugi.is - Notendur

Irish on Vacation (7 álit)

í Húmor fyrir 18 árum, 8 mánuðum

Q: Where does an Irish person go on a vacation? A: A new ba

~ Jed's Redneck Slang ~ (3 álit)

í Húmor fyrir 18 árum, 9 mánuðum

Jed shares some redneck slang with his chat buddies! “Well knock me down and steal muh teeth!” “Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit.” “I'll slap you so hard, your clothes will be outta style.” “This'll jar your preserves.” “Cute as a sack full of puppies.” “If things get any better, I may have to hire someone to help me enjoy it.” “Gooder than grits.” “It's so dry, the trees are bribing the dogs.” “It's been hotter'n a goat's butt in a pepper patch.” “Wintery roads are said to be...

ikea (5 álit)

í Húmor fyrir 18 árum, 9 mánuðum

is there anything they don´t have

The Stella Awards (3 álit)

í Húmor fyrir 18 árum, 9 mánuðum

In 1994, a New Mexico jury awarded $ 2.9 million U.S. in damages to 81-year-old Stella Liebeck who suffered third-degree burns to her legs, groin and buttocks after spilling a cup of McDonald's coffee on herself. This case inspired an annual award - The “Stella” Award - for the most frivolous lawsuit in the U.S. The ones listed below are candidates. ——————————————————————————– December 1997: Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware successfully sued the owner of a night club in a neighboring city...

What Reindeer Talk About During Their Christmas Flight (0 álit)

í Húmor fyrir 18 árum, 9 mánuðum

10. “Sheesh! What's he been eating this year? ROCKS?” 9. “He shouts all our names all the time, sure, but do you really think he knows which one is which?” 8. “I never knew Donner had a tattoo THERE.” 7. “Sure…HIS seat is a flotation device. What about us?” 6. “Tried those new lite oats? You really should.” 5. “Man, I hope we pause on a rooftop soon. I'm beat.” 4. “HEY! Watch the antlers there, buddy!” 3. “Did you hear you-know-who got a nose job?” 2. “You know, after a few hundred miles,...

The Puppy Spy (6 álit)

í Húmor fyrir 18 árum, 9 mánuðum

<————

haha,, (3 álit)

í Húmor fyrir 18 árum, 9 mánuðum

A man enters his favorite ritzy restaurant and while sitting at his regular table, he notices a gorgeous woman sitting at a table nearby, all alone. He calls the waiter over and asks for their most expensive bottle of Merlot to be sent over to her knowing that if she accepts it, she is his. The waiter gets the bottle and quickly sends it over to the girl, saying this is from the gentleman. She looks at the wine and decides to send a note over to the man. The note read: “For me to accept this...

Life Explained. (2 álit)

í Húmor fyrir 18 árum, 9 mánuðum

On the first day God created the cow. God said, “You must go to field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer. I will give you a life span of sixty years.” The cow said, “That's a kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. Let me have twenty years and I'll give back the other forty.” And God agreed. On the second day, God created the dog. God said, “Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes...

Death By Cheney (14 álit)

í Húmor fyrir 18 árum, 9 mánuðum

ég er farin að verða hræddur!

Explosm myndasögur eru kominn aftur!!! (1 álit)

í Húmor fyrir 18 árum, 9 mánuðum

þær eru loksins komnar,en ég náði ekki að senda það sem mynd,,frekar fáranlegt þeir sammþykja ekki þannig gerðir af myndum….

Only In America! (0 álit)

í Húmor fyrir 18 árum, 9 mánuðum

Only in America… can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance. Only in America… are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink. Only in America… do banks leave both doors open but chain the pens to the counters. Only in America… do people order double cheese burgers, a large fry, and a “diet” coke. Only in America… do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and leave useless things and junk in boxes in the garage. Only in America… do we use answering...

This Is Totally Amazing. (2 álit)

í Húmor fyrir 18 árum, 9 mánuðum

Say the word COW before each word. 1 - Cows 2 - About 3 - Talking 4 - Idiot 5 - This 6 - Got 7 - I 8 - Long 9 - How 10 - Look Now say the word COW After each word 1 - Cows 2 - About 3 - Talking 4 - Idiot 5 - This 6 - Got 7 - I 8 - Long 9 - How 10 - Look Now say the word COW before AND after each word. 1 - Cows 2 - About 3 - Talking 4 - Idiot 5 - This 6 - Got 7 - I 8 - Long 9 - How 10 - Look Now read just the words upwards from the bottom. 1 - Cows 2 - About 3 - Talking 4- Idiot 5 - This 6 -...

Stuff that Annoys Me! (14 álit)

í Húmor fyrir 18 árum, 9 mánuðum

People who point at their wrist while asking for the time. I know where my watch is buddy, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the bathroom is? People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually. When people say “Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too”. Screw off. What good is a goddamn cake if you can't eat it? What, should I eat someone else's...

einn íslenskur (2 álit)

í Húmor fyrir 18 árum, 9 mánuðum

Það var í messu í lítilli borg í Bandaríkjunum , þar sem séra Brown átti í erfiðleikum með að fá ástríka foreldra , sem voru á meðal kirkjugesta , með hávaðasamt barn sitt , til að víkja fram með það , þrátt fyrir það að það truflaði messugjörð hans með hávaða . Hann áhvað því að reyna dáleyðslu til þess að ná sýnu fram . Hann fór upp í predikunarstólinn og dró upp vasaúrið sitt og hóf að sveifla því fram og aftur , um leið og hann tónaði eftirfarandi : “Þið eruð öll á mínu valdi . Nú vill...

the parking lot (2 álit)

í Húmor fyrir 18 árum, 9 mánuðum

haha

A Visit to the Mall (2 álit)

í Húmor fyrir 18 árum, 9 mánuðum

A boy and his Father visiting from a third world country were at an American shopping mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and back together again. The boy asked his Father, “What is this Father?”. The Father responded, “Son I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don`t know what it is!”. While the boy and his Father were watching wide-eyed, an old lady in a wheelchair rolled up to the moving walls...

The Melting Princess (5 álit)

í Húmor fyrir 18 árum, 9 mánuðum

Once upon a time… There lived a king. The King had a beautiful daughter, the Princess. But the kingdom was a sad place. There was no laughter, and no joy. The problem was, that everything the Princess touched would melt. No matter what, metal, wood… anthing she touched would melt!! Because of this, men were afraid of her. Nobody would dare marry her. The king despaired. What could he do to help his beautiful daughter? He consulted his wizards and magicians. One wizard told the king, “If your...

How To Get Out Of A Traffic Ticket! (3 álit)

í Húmor fyrir 18 árum, 9 mánuðum

A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange: Officer: May I see your driver's license? Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI. Officer: May I see the owner's card for this vehicle? Driver: It's not my car. I stole it. Officer: The car is stolen? Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there. Officer: There's a gun in the glove box? Driver: Yes sir....

Funny Instructions (0 álit)

í Húmor fyrir 18 árum, 9 mánuðum

Some examples of why the human race has probably evolved as far as possible. These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods… On Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!) On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special!) On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap. (and that would be how?) On some Swann frozen dinners: Serving suggestion: Defrost. (But it's...

Computer Bomb (8 álit)

í Húmor fyrir 18 árum, 9 mánuðum

góð auglýsing

The Perfect Day (2 álit)

í Húmor fyrir 18 árum, 9 mánuðum

PERFECT DAY FOR A WOMAN 8:15 Wake up to hugs and kisses. 8:30 Weigh 5lbs. lighter than yesterday 8:45 Breakfast in bed, squeezed orange juice and croissants 9:15 Soothing hot bath with fragrant lilac bath oil 10:00 Light workout at club with handsome, funny personal trainer. 10:30 Facial , manicure, shampoo, and comb out. 12:00 Lunch with best friend at an outdoor cafe. 12:45 Notice ex-boyfriend's wife, she has gained 30 lbs. 1:00 Shopping with friends. 3:00 Nap. 4:00 A dozen roses delivered...

Who Has The Biggest Wee Wee ? (18 álit)

í Húmor fyrir 18 árum, 9 mánuðum

There were three boys all in third grade: a short boy, a tall boy and a redneck. They were trying to think of games to play at recess when the short boy got an idea. “I know,” he said, “we can play, ‘Who's Got the Biggest wee wee’”. “How do you play that?” asked the redneck. “It's easy'' said the tall boy, ”we can play it next recess.“ So when recess time came, the three boys went outside. ”Alright,“ said the short boy, ”Lets play.“ The short boy explained that all you have to do is pull...

You Can't Say He Isn't Creative... (2 álit)

í Húmor fyrir 18 árum, 9 mánuðum

jámm….

Shhh. It's a Secret (2 álit)

í Húmor fyrir 18 árum, 9 mánuðum

haha,engin á eftir að finna það.

Friday in hell. (4 álit)

í Húmor fyrir 18 árum, 9 mánuðum

One day a guy died and found himself in hell. As he was wallowing in despair, he had his first meeting with a demon. The demon asked, “Why so glum?” The guy responded, “What do you think? I'm in hell!” “Hell's not so bad,” the demon said. “We actually have a lot of fun down here. You a drinking man?” “Sure,” the man said, “I love to drink.” Well you're gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays all we do is drink. Whiskey, tequila, Guinness, wine coolers, diet Tab and Fresca. We drink till we throw...

Notendur

Irish on Vacation (7 álit)

~ Jed's Redneck Slang ~ (3 álit)

ikea (5 álit)

The Stella Awards (3 álit)

What Reindeer Talk About During Their Christmas Flight (0 álit)

The Puppy Spy (6 álit)

haha,, (3 álit)

Life Explained. (2 álit)

Death By Cheney (14 álit)

Explosm myndasögur eru kominn aftur!!! (1 álit)

Only In America! (0 álit)

This Is Totally Amazing. (2 álit)

Stuff that Annoys Me! (14 álit)

einn íslenskur (2 álit)

the parking lot (2 álit)

A Visit to the Mall (2 álit)

The Melting Princess (5 álit)

How To Get Out Of A Traffic Ticket! (3 álit)

Funny Instructions (0 álit)

Computer Bomb (8 álit)

The Perfect Day (2 álit)

Who Has The Biggest Wee Wee ? (18 álit)

You Can't Say He Isn't Creative... (2 álit)

Shhh. It's a Secret (2 álit)

Friday in hell. (4 álit)

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