Hugi.is - Notendur

An APB On God (4 álit)

í Húmor fyrir 18 árum, 7 mánuðum

A couple had two little boys, ages eight and ten, who were excessively mischievous. The two were always getting into trouble and their parents could be confident that if any mischief occurred in their town, their two young sons were involved in some capacity. The parents were at their wit's end as to what to do about their sons' behavior. The parents had heard that a clergyman in town had been successful in disciplining children in the past, so they contacted him, and he agreed to give it...

skondið;) (6 álit)

í Húmor fyrir 18 árum, 7 mánuðum

já það er ódýrt fyrir jesú að fara á fyllerí

Bishop And The Ass (7 álit)

í Húmor fyrir 18 árum, 7 mánuðum

A preacher wanted to raise money for his church and on being told that there was a fortune in horse racing, decided to purchase a horse and enter it in the races. However, at the local auction, the going price for horses was so high that he ended up buying a donkey instead. He figured that since he had it, he might as well go ahead and enter it in the races. To his surprise, the donkey came in third! The next day the local paper carried this headline: PREACHER'S ASS SHOWS. The preacher was...

the toilet (6 álit)

í Húmor fyrir 18 árum, 7 mánuðum

wat! it isn´t the dogs drinking bowl

monkey see monkey do (5 álit)

í Húmor fyrir 18 árum, 7 mánuðum

haha….

Good for the Heart (8 álit)

í Húmor fyrir 18 árum, 7 mánuðum

A man had a terrible passion for baked beans, but they always had a somewhat lively effect on him. After he met the woman of his dreams, he made the supreme sacrifice and gave them up; he couldn't imagine subjecting his new wife to his beastly emissions. On his birthday, his car broke down, so he called his wife and told her he'd have to walk home. He walked past a cafe and the wonderful aroma of baked beans overwhelmed him. Since he was still a couple of miles from home, he figured he could...

cujo strikes, (8 álit)

í Húmor fyrir 18 árum, 7 mánuðum

kötturin heitir minni mig cujo…

Three Explorers Are Captured... (2 álit)

í Húmor fyrir 18 árum, 7 mánuðum

A Frenchman, an Englishman and a New Yorker were exploring the jungle and were captured by a fierce tribe. As they sit in a hut, awaiting their fate, the chief comes to them and says, “The bad news is that now that we've caught you, we're going to kill you, and then use your skins to build a canoe. The good news is that you get to choose how you die.” The Frenchman says, “I take ze poison.” The chief gives him some poison, the Frenchman says, “Vive la France!” and drinks it down. The...

hugsaðu út úr boxinu.. (4 álit)

í Húmor fyrir 18 árum, 7 mánuðum

hhaahahahaha……….

The Devout Catholic Woman (7 álit)

í Húmor fyrir 18 árum, 7 mánuðum

The Devout Catholic Woman Maria is a devout Catholic. She gets married and has 17 children. Then her husband dies. She remarries two weeks later, and has 22 children by her next husband. Then he dies. A while later, she dies. At the funeral, the priest looks skyward and says, “At last they're finally together.” A guy sitting in the front row says, “Excuse me Father, but do you mean her and her first husband, or her and her second husband?” “I mean her legs!”

How to Tell You're Having a Bad Day... (6 álit)

í Húmor fyrir 18 árum, 7 mánuðum

ææ ekki happadagurinn hans

The Judge (5 álit)

í Húmor fyrir 18 árum, 8 mánuðum

A judge asks a defendant to please stand. “You are charged with murdering a school teacher with a chain saw.” From out in the audience a man shouts, “You lying bastard!” “Silence in the court!” the judge shouted back. He turns to the defendant again and says, “You are also charged with killing a paperboy with a shovel.” “You goddamned tightwad!” blurted the spectator. “Quiet!” yelled the judge. “You are also charged with killing a mailman with an electric drill.” “You cheap son of a…” the...

heimpeki (7 álit)

í Heimspeki fyrir 18 árum, 8 mánuðum

heimspekingurinn hann home

6 jokes(á ensku) (4 álit)

í Húmor fyrir 18 árum, 8 mánuðum

1.Mounted Cop There was a cop on his horse waiting to cross the road when a little boy on his new shiny bike stopped beside him. ''Nice bike,'' the cop said, ‘'did Santa bring it to you?’' ''Yep,'' the little boy said, ‘'he sure did!’' The cop looked at the bike and while handing the boy a $20 ticket he said, ‘'Next year, tell Santa to put a license plate on the back of it.’' To go along with the cop, the little boy said, ‘'Nice horse you got there sir, did Santa bring it to you?’' ‘'Yes, He...

Final Exam Failure (6 álit)

í Húmor fyrir 18 árum, 8 mánuðum

Last semester I took macroeconomics and didn't have a clue what I was doing (as cited on the final exam). There were 80 multiple choice questions. For some reason I decided to play the game of probability and choose the letter “A” for everything. In that game, the only thing probable was that I failed. The following day, the professor asked to see me after class. “Is everything okay?” “Sure,” I said, “why? ”Well, here's your test,“ he said and handed me a piece of paper that was covered with...

explosm í lagi aftur (9 álit)

í Húmor fyrir 18 árum, 8 mánuðum

það voru eikkað að serverinum en það er komið aftur í lag en bara ein myndasaga síðan seinast…

What Do I Look Like? (3 álit)

í Húmor fyrir 18 árum, 8 mánuðum

A newlywed couple just moved into their new house. One day the husband comes home from work and his wife says, “Honey, you know, in the upstairs bathroom one of the pipes is leaking, could you fix it?” The husband just looked at his wife and said, “What do I look like, Mr.Plumber?” A few days went by, and he comes home from work and again his wife asks for a favor, ”Honey, the car won't start, I think that it needs a new battery. Could you change it for me?“ ”What do I look like,...

explosm (7 álit)

í Húmor fyrir 18 árum, 8 mánuðum

er það bara mín talva eða eru fleiri sem komast ekki inná

haha.. (5 álit)

í Húmor fyrir 18 árum, 8 mánuðum

What the hell is Seaman Sauce?

hiding in holes with dummies (5 álit)

í Húmor fyrir 18 árum, 8 mánuðum

hahahahah.

Applying for a Job at the CIA (13 álit)

í Húmor fyrir 18 árum, 8 mánuðum

A few months ago, there was an opening with the CIA for an assassin. These highly classified positions are hard to fill, and there's a lot of testing and background checks involved before you can even be considered for the position. After sending some applicants through the background checks, training and testing, they narrowed the possible choices down to two men and a woman, but only one position was available. The day came for the final test to see which peson would get the extremely...

Kryptonian alphabet (13 álit)

í Myndasögur fyrir 18 árum, 8 mánuðum

súperman tungumálið.

giskið? (5 álit)

í Gamanþættir fyrir 18 árum, 8 mánuðum

giskið úr hvaða þáttum þetta er?

2 harðir á djamminu (14 álit)

í Djammið fyrir 18 árum, 8 mánuðum

ojjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj.hvað er í gangi

Our Four Sons (2 álit)

í Húmor fyrir 18 árum, 8 mánuðum

Four guys went golfing; one went in the clubhouse to pay while the others waited at the first tee. One of the guys says, “I'm so proud of my son. He is a stock broker and he's made enought that he just gave away a huge portfolio.” The next guy said, “I'm so proud of my son. He's a car dealer and he's doing so well, he just gave away a Ferrari.” The third guy says, “I'm so proud of my son. He's got enough money that he just gave away a million-dollar home.” Just as the third guy fininshes...

Notendur

An APB On God (4 álit)

skondið;) (6 álit)

Bishop And The Ass (7 álit)

the toilet (6 álit)

monkey see monkey do (5 álit)

Good for the Heart (8 álit)

cujo strikes, (8 álit)

Three Explorers Are Captured... (2 álit)

hugsaðu út úr boxinu.. (4 álit)

The Devout Catholic Woman (7 álit)

How to Tell You're Having a Bad Day... (6 álit)

The Judge (5 álit)

heimpeki (7 álit)

6 jokes(á ensku) (4 álit)

Final Exam Failure (6 álit)

explosm í lagi aftur (9 álit)

What Do I Look Like? (3 álit)

explosm (7 álit)

haha.. (5 álit)

hiding in holes with dummies (5 álit)

Applying for a Job at the CIA (13 álit)

Kryptonian alphabet (13 álit)

giskið? (5 álit)

2 harðir á djamminu (14 álit)

Our Four Sons (2 álit)

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