Keypti mér bókina í vikunni og mér fannst bara eins og ég YRÐI að deila með ykkur strákunum nokkrum mikilvægum reglum.

Líka út af því mér leiðist alveg ógeðslega mikið, og ég get ekki sofið…

Ég mun taka þetta beint upp úr bókinni, þannig að ef þið kunnið ekki ensku…deal with it.

Article 1:
Bros before ho's
The bond between two men is stronger than the bond between a man and a woman because, on average, men are stronger than women. That's just science..

Article 5
Whether he cares about sports or not, a Bro cares about sports.

Article 15
A Bro never dances with his hands above his head.

Article 18
If a Bro spearheads a beer run at a party, he is entitled to any excess monies accrued after canvassing the group.

Article 31
When on the prowl, a Bro hits on the hottest chick first because you just never know.

Article 38
Even in a fight to the death, a Bro never punches another Bro in the groin.

Article 41
A Bro never cries.
EXCEPTIONS: Watching Field of Dreams, E.T., or a sports legend retire.*

Article 48
A Bro never publicly reveals how many chicks he's banged.
COROLLARY: A Bro also never reveals how many chicks another Bro has Banged.
When a chick meets a Bro, there are three things she wants to know:

1. How much money does he make?
2. Is he shorter than her?
3. How many chicks has he banged?

Eventually, she will figure out the first two, but a Bro never answers the third question. If, however, a Bro feels compelled to answer (i.e., sex is being withheld until he supplies a tally), he can calculate an acceptable number using the following formula:


Article 72
A Bro never spell-checks.

Article 74
At a red light, a Bro inches as close as possible to the rear bumper of the car in front of him, and then immediately honks his horn when the light turns green. That way, if another Bro is several cars behind, he'll have a better chance of making it through the intersection before the light turns red again.

Article 81
A Bro leaves the toilet seat up for his Bros.

Article 85
If a Bro buys a new car, he is required to pop the hood when showing it off to his Bros.

COROLLARY: His Bros are required to whistle, even if they have no idea what they're whistling at.

Article 100
When pulling up to a stoplight, a Bro lowers his windows so that all might enjoy his music selection

COROLLARY: If there happens to be a hot chick driving the car next to the Bro, the Bro shall pull his sunglasses down to get a better look. If he's not wearing his sunglasses, he will first put them on, then pull them down to get a better look.

Article 122
A Bro is always psyched. Always.

If you're having trouble getting psyched, or you need to get a Bro psyched, you can always make yourself a “Get Psyched” mix.


Article 142
A Bro shall seek no revenge if he passes out around his Bros and wakes up to find markers all over his face.


Side-note:
If you are a woman reading this, first, let me apologize: it was never my intention for this book to contain so much math.
Second, I urge you to look at this document for what it is - a piece of fiction meant to entertain a broad audience through the prism of stereotypical gender differences. I mean, sometimes it really is like we're from different planets!
Clearly, no real person would actually believe or adhere to the vulgar rules contained within.**
Those boots are adorable, b-t-dub.







*Applies only to the first time he retires
** ..strákar