The Trouble With Trillions Written by Ian Maxtone-Graham
Directed by Swinton Scott
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Production code: 5F14 Original airdate on FOX: 05-Apr-1998
Capsule revision A (09-Nov-2001)
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> “TV Guide” Synopsis
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None submitted.
[The following is a TV Guide-style synopsis: When Homer lands himself into
some tax trouble, he finds himself helping the government recover a stolen
trillion dollar bill from Mr. Burns.]
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> Title sequence
============================================= =================================
Blackboard: I WILL NOT DEMAND / WHAT I'M WORTH
I WILL NOT DEMAND / WHAT I'M WO (at cutoff)
Couch gag: Rather than a couch, there is a sauna, with three guys in
towels.
==============================================================================
> Didja notice…
============================================ ==================================
… the Jebediah Springfield statue is covered in toilet paper?
… there is a framed picture of Patty or Selma above Ned and Maude's bed?
What the–
… Lucius Sweet dries his sweaty forehead with money?
Alex Audet:
… one of the three angry guys down in Paris is French general De Gaulle?
Anthony Dean:
… Maggie has a noisemaker in her mouth instead of her pacifier for New
Year's?
… Frink seems to have learned his lesson about forgetting to “carrying
the one” from [2F01]?
… a guy diving out of the path of Homer's car when he drove up the post
office's steps?
Nathan Mulac DeHoff:
… one of the people in line at the post office was the clerk from “Homer
vs. the Eighteenth Amendment”?
… Burns was once the richest man in the United States (and might have
continued to be, up until he gave away the trillion dollar bill)?
… Homer has presumably caused three meltdowns?
… Smithers didn't inform the others that Castro was in power? (I would
imagine that he keeps up on the news more than Burns and Homer do.)
Jordan Eisenberg:
… Krusty no longer cheats on his taxes?
… the beer can resting on Homer's ‘to do’ pile?
… the oddly cartoony crescent moon outside Moe's Tavern?
… the surveillance truck has no license plate number?
… the way everyone in the bar looked at Homer as he left? (the second
time)
… the trillion dollar bill has Truman's picture on it?
… Truman's position in the picture?
… the paintings in Burns' hallway, especially that of his mother?
… the peacocks in Burns' yard?
… Maggie's head also follows the agent as he paces?
… Bart says ‘Dad’ instead of ‘Homer’?
… Homer and Mr. Burns run over a peacock on their way out?
… the Malibu Stacy dolls in Smithers' apartment?
… Smithers irons his socks?
… Chief Wiggum was stationed behind a Duff billboard?
… Homer rolls a five and a one?
… the die on the left is illegal? (This may be a goof)
… Castro and his employees spoke English?
… either way, the money should have gone to a foreign nation?
Don Del Grande:
… at the New Year's Eve celebration, Apu was with his wife, but Sanjay
was there without his?
… Marge didn't sign the return? (To paraphrase Peg Bundy of “Married…
With Children”, “they can't get you if you don't sign the form”)
… the IRS knew to find Homer at Moe's? (Then again, Homer called
President Clinton from there in 1F13)
… Burns, who can get all the electricity he wants for free, has a gas
stove?
Tony Hill:
… Ned wears glasses to bed?
… Burns flies the “Spirit of Springfield”?
Joe Klemm:
… Nelson drinking wihiskey on New Year's Eve?
… the top secret film is rated TV PG?
Haynes Lee:
… Monty Burns' plane looks like Charles Lindberg's “Spirit of St. Louis”?
Benjamin Robinson:
… despite what Homer said, Lisa's book did not have pictures?
… the two-sided chair the IRS men sat upon? (I like to think of it as a
Janus chair.)
… Burns and Smithers were both dumb enough to let Homer hold on to the
trillion-dollar bill?
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> Voice credits
============================================== ================================
- Starring
- Dan Castellaneta (Homer, Krusty, Myron, Barney, President Truman, Hitler,
Castro)
- Julie Kavner (Marge)
- Nancy Cartwright (Bart, Todd Flanders)
- Yeardley Smith (Lisa)
- Hank Azaria (Chief Wiggum, Professor Frink, IRS guy, Moe, Carl, Charlie,
Agent Miller, Castro's associates)
- Harry Shearer (Ned Flanders, Dr. Hibbert, Principle Skinner, Kent
Brockman, Lenny, Agent Johnson)
- Also starring
- Maggie Roswell (Maude Flanders)
- Marcia Wallace (Mrs. Krabappel)
- Paul Winfield (Lucius Sweet)
- Tress MacNeille (Cuban airport woman, Cuban vendor boy)
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> Movie (and other) references
=========================================== ===================================
+ “The Trouble with Tribbles” [Star Trek episode]
- inspiration for title
+ “Mad About You”
- when the ball got stuck and time froze still as the crowd shouted “3!
3! 3! 3!” {dk}
+ Tott's wine/Korbel champagne commercials
- New Year's countdown ending at 8 {ag}
+ Alka Seltzer / Pepto Bismol
- “That's a spicy-a meat-a-ball” commercial {bjr} {ag}
+ “The Firm”
- clandestine meeting in park {hl}
+ Quantico
- the FBI maintains a training center here, which explains the FBI pizza
van {bjr}
+ The Marshall Plan
- Truman's bailout of Europe similar [See “Comments & Other
Observations”] {bjr}
+ “The China Syndrome”
- Homer says he's responsible for one of these (The title of the movie
refers to a nuclear meltdown, where the radioactive core could burrow
“until it reached China.”) {bjr}
+ “Androcles and the Lion”
- it's not a thorn in a lion's paw, but from the Pope's butt {tr}
+ Whistler's “Portrait of the Artist's Mother” (Commonly “Whistler's
Mother”)
- a painting seen behind Burns resembles this painting {tr}
+ “Man From U.N.C.L.E.” [movie]
- suicide pill {hl}
+ “Mission: Impossible” [movie]
- self-destructing tape {ag}
- “Good morning, Agent Johnson” (“Good morning, Mr. Phelps” in booth) {af}
+ Henry VIII [Tudor king]
- one of Burns' paintings seems to be a cross between Mr. Burns and
King Henry VIII
+ “The Godfather Part II” [movie]
- arriving in Cuba, getting into similar car, driving past outdoor boxing
matches etc. {mm}
>> Meta References
- After the network's protracted salary negotiations with the cast, many
people on suggested that an episode reference the
dispute. Do you think tonight's blackboard gag (“I will not demand
what I'm worth”) will satisfy them? This has got to set the record
for the shortest gap between the time something happened, and the time
the show referenced it. (Oh, wait, I get it now. The whole salary
dispute thing was just to set up tonight's blackboard gag.) {bjr}
- The stuck New Year's ball, and the fact that you never learn what year
Springfield is ringing in, may reference the fact that time seems to
“stand still” on the show. {bjr}
- Skinner asks Krabappel if that's a new green sweater she's wearing,
making fun of the show's remarkably consistent wardrobe. {bjr}
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> Previous episode references
=========================================== ===================================
- Burns releasing the hounds {hl}
- [7G04] Burns warns company picnic to clear out because the hounds are
going to released in 10 minutes
- [7F10] Burns asks Smithers to release hounds on Homer and Marge when he
decides to reject their settlement
- [7F07] Burns releases hounds on Bart when he tries to steal pie from
window sill
- [8F17] Burns releases hounds on Flanders when he solicits him about
recycling
- [8F17] Burns releases hounds on Bart when Smithers reports a sweet
little boy is ringing the doorbell
- [1F02] Burns has hound chained to his chair at Springfield College
- [3F10] Homer gets mauled by the hounds when he takes back the bowling
trophy Burns kept for himself
- [3F31] Burns releases Richard Simmons robot on Homer (outtake from 1F16)
- [4F10] Burns has a “mad dog drill” button on his emergency console
- [4F16] Burns and Smithers seen walking hound in park (wihout incident)
- [7G03] Homer almost commits suicide {je}
- [7F02] Karl appears (at the post office)
- [7F07] Smithers displays his cooking talents to Mr. Burns
- [7F18] Marge's painting talents shown {bjr}
- [8F01] IRS appears
- [8F03] FBI disguise themselves in an “inconspicuous” van
- [8F06] doors close on Homer's head {je}
- [9F15] Homer gets a tour of Burns Manor {ddg}
- [1F01] Mr. Burns owning an island {je}
- [1F02] one (perhaps two) of Homer's three meltdowns {nmd}
- [1F06] being stranded in the ocean on a crude boat
- [1F10] Homer goes undercover {nmd}
- [1F12], [4F17] Smithers' Malibu Stacy collection is shown {nmd}
- [1F12], [2F20], [4F17] we see Smithers' apartment {je}
- [2F01] Professor Frink mentions carrying the one {nmd}
- [2F01] New Years Eve {ddg}
- [2F04] toilet paper on Jebediah Springfield statue
- [2F13] Castro appears {af}
- [2F14] Bart is called “ratboy” {ad}
- [2F16] Burns' traps fail to get rid of Homer {af}
- [3F09] the Homer-Bush slugfest mentioned {bjr}
- [3F14] Burns' old-fashioned kitchen shown {bjr}
- [3F14] Burns mistakes Homer for Smithers
- [3F14] Smithers is in the Caribbean {je}
- [3F17] a Springfieldianite gets into trouble with the IRS {nmd}
- [4F01] Homer's telemarketing scam mentioned {bjr}
- [4F03] Lucius Sweet appears {bjr}
- [4F15] Homer's previous career as a bootlegger mentioned {bjr}
- [5F06] Gil the real estate agent appears {bjr}
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> Freeze frame fun
================================================== ============================
- People at the New Year celebration
- Comic Book Guy
- Larry
- Kirk Van Houten
- The Hibberts
- Superintendant Chalmers
- The Lovejoys
- The Nahasapeemapetilons (Manjula, Apu, and Sanjay)
- Lunchlady Doris
- Luanne Van Houten (nowhere near Kirk)
- Mayor Quimby
- Miss Hoover
- Jasper
- Sunday School teacher
- Captain McAllistar
- Lionel Hutz
- Mrs. Glick
- Dr. Nick
- Dave Shutton
- The Simpsons
- Ruth Powers
- Chief Wiggum
- Otto
- Nelson and Kearney
- Principal Skinner and Mrs. Krabappel
- Krusty and Sideshow Mel
- Recurring characters at the post office (starting at the front of the queue)
- Chief Wiggum (keeping everything under control)
* First queue
- Sunday School teacher
- Professor Frink
- Lenny
- Apu Nahasapeemapetilon (yes, again!)
- Luanne Van Houten
- Rainier Wolfcastle
- Miss Hoover
- Old guy that says “nay”
- Superintendant Chalmers
- Captain McAllistar
- Karl (from 7F02)
- Snake
- Eddie (the cop)
- Apu Nahasapeemapetilon (outside)
* Second queue
- Carl
- Ruth Powers (yes, again!)
- Otto
- Krusty
- Groundskeeper Willie
- Kirk Van Houten
- Mrs. Krabappel
- Lionel Hutz
- Dr. Nick
- Mrs. Glick
- Troy McClure
- Dr. Hibbert
- Mayor Quimby
- Ruth Powers (outside)
And the very last person to arrive…
- Homer
- Fake pizza truck
TWO GUYS FROM QUANTICO
[ * ] PIZZA
Two agents, one of them holding a pizza.
- At the Springfield Airfield
SPRINGFIELD
AIRFIELD
“Birthplace of
Wind Shear”
- Different Buzz colas
- BUZZ
- Cream BUZZ
- DIET BUZZ
- BUZZ Classic
- CAFFEINE BUZZ FREE
- Cuban airport
BIENVENIDOS A CUBA
- Paper to sign at Cuban Airport
PURPOSE OF VISIT
A) Business/Pleasure []
B) Smuggle Cigars []
C) Assassinate Castro []
(Homer ticks all three.)
- Billboard in Cuba
___
| * | EL DUFFO
|___| O MUERTE
Che Guevara with a can of Duffo
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> Animation, continuity, and other goofs
================================================ ==============================
= When doing his taxes, Ned writes on a paper and proceeds to erase what he
just wrote. However, nothing appears nor disappears on the paper.
= Lisa wasn't reading a picture book. {th}
* When did Marge paint the sailboat painting? The painting was done before
Marge took that art class, yet she hadn't painted anything before that since
high school. [Well, it's not exactly a masterpiece, is it? --hmw] {ddg}
= The clock outside the post office changes from 9:05 to 10:56. {je}
- When everybody is at the post office, the woman next to Captain McAllistar's
pupils disappear from here eyes.
= Apu can be seen outside the post office, but seconds later is inside, almost
at the front of the queue!
= Same story with Ruth Powers!
c Heard - Marge: I put the tax forms in your ‘to do’ pile a month ago.
Seen - Marge: I put the tax forms in your ‘to do’ pile last month. {je}
= Homer's “to do” pile appears from nowhere!
= Homer's watch appears and disappears during the “to do” pile scene.
= Although it is nearly midnight as Homer does his taxes, his watch reads
something like 2:30. {tr}
= Homer's tax bundle was at the top of the pile, yet when the Pimple-faced
kid emptied out the box, it was on the bottom. {je}
* Having worked in a revenue mailroom, I can tell you that the mailroom
doesn't decide who gets audited. {th}
= Homer's taxes turn into a bar of yarn in one of the IRS shots. {jk}
* The IRS doesn't charge compound interest. {th}
* The Top Secret film contained adult situations, yet it was only rated
TV-PG. {je}
* Living Presidents never appear on dollar bills until they die. {jk}
* Why didn't Burns cash the trillion dollar bill when he had financial
problems in “The Old Man and the Lisa”? {nmd}
* Homer says that Burns hasn't fired him, but Burns did fire him in “Simpson
Tide.” (“Homer's Odyssey” doesn't count, since it wasn't Burns who did the
firing then.) {nmd}
c Heard - Homer: Take that, Uncle Sam!
Seen - Homer: No one arrests my boss! {je}
* A 1936 Stutz Bearcat? Maybe, if it weren't for the fact that:
a) The Bearcat has a distinctive oval windscreen propped directly in
front of the driver. The car in the show had a normal rectangular
windscreen that covered both passenger and driver.
b) The Bearcat was a sports car with only two seats; the one in the show
seated four.
c) The Stutz corporation called it quits during the mid-Twenties. {bjr}
* Burns grabs Smithers and yanks him out of his apartment, despite being
exceptionally weak.
= When Homer drives Burns' car, the steering wheel is on the left, but when
Smithers drives it, it's on the right. {ddg}
* Where did Homer get his dice from?
==============================================================================
> Reviews
============================================== ================================
Alex Audet: To me, it was a funny episode until Homer ran away. After that,
it was below average. The first part with the New Year celebration, the
last day for taxes, and when Homer got busted was great. But when Homer,
Burns and Smithers went to Cuba it wasn't really good. (B-)
Ben Collins: This is one of the worst Simpsons episodes ever made, and
possibly THE worst: pointless, unfunny, and poorly written. Writer Ian
Maxtone-Graham starts with a weak, meandering story and fills it with
stale, flat gags and ludicrous, un-Simpsonslike ideas (the “trillion dollar
bill,” Lisa shrugging off college, and many others I choose not to think
about). If you tilt your head a little and use your imagination, this D-
might look like me sticking my tongue out at the current “staff.” (D-)
Chris Courtois: The trouble with “The Trouble With Trillions” was the trouble
I've had with Ian Maxtone-Graham's two previous episodes. The episodes
aren't bad like a Keeler or Crittenden show, rather they seem like
“synthetic” episodes - not really “The Simpsons”, but a good simulation of
the show. “Burns Baby Burns” seemed to be the work of a computer program
or writer with a checklist ticking off the where-is-Springfield joke, the
Smithers-is-gay gag, and other favorite elements in an attempt to follow a
formula for a smash show. This show bogged down in the second act with the
Scully-era mandatory gratuitous references to previous episodes (this show
must hold the record for the most previous episode references in a non-clip
show), and with Lisa's PC-thug government oppression rant (loved Homer's
putting it all in perspective though with his “but I'm not fat?”). The
first and third acts had good gags hanging from off of a far fetched plot.
I would have liked to have seen a subplot stemming from Marge's “You sure
had talent, kid” lament, maybe even a semi-sequel to “Brush With
Greatness”. (If they're gonna toss out references to old shows, why not go
all the way, and do a follow-up show?) Overall the jokey first and third
acts and the political satire offset the weak second act enough for this
one to get a… (B)
Anthony Dean: While this episode had its moments (Castro's reaction to the San
Francisco street named after him, the ball drop on New Year's Eve, everyone
rushing to the Post Office), it still seemed to suffer a bit in spots,
particularly in the third act and its abrupt ending. (C+)
Nathan Mulac DeHoff: There were a lot of good jokes in this one, and it wasn't
quite as unrealistic as last week's episode (although that's not saying
very much, and the idea of a trillion dollar bill is still pretty
ridiculous). The plot was good overall. The Cuba part seemed to be tacked
on, but it was quite amusing. There were a few slow parts, and the ending
seemed a bit too abrupt, but it was still one of the better offerings this
season. (A-)
Jordan Eisenberg: This episode met expectations exactly. It fit the standard
form of a 5F episode: An outstanding first act, a relatively slow second
act and a third act low on gags that takes everything to such an unneededly
bizarre climax that it doesn't have enough time to adequately finish. The
gags of the first and second acts were decent, while nothing was ROTFL.
Marge and the kids had only a few minutes of air time as usual, and Mr.
Burns was slightly out of character. And I absolutely loved the bit about
Marge's painting! (B-)
Alex Foley: A some-what good Act I, which decends to pure crap by the end of
Act II (excluding Homer's putting one of the agent's hands on the other
butt and the IRS video). Lisa's “who needs college” line was just painful,
and once again the writers apparently forgot to write an ending, and left
it like that. Homer was too much of an idiot, Burns and Smithers also
appeared off to me. A very disappointing episode. (D+)
Andrew Gill: Well, I don't know exactly how to review this one. It left a
general distastefulness in my mouth, but it was just mediocre enough to
deserve an honest grade. Idiot Homer was back. So were the zany plots
(why do they have to be zany). The flawed premises were also back, along
with the mischaracterization of Lisa (“Who needs college? …Let's buy
dune buggies!”). There was yet more cartoon physics. (Shouldn't Homer have
a concussion from the door on the PO?) Let's hope that the 200th is all
that it's cracked up to be. (C+)
Tony Hill: This episode contained plenty of LOL moments (Homer stopping for
hot dog), but somehow the ridiculous anti-patriotism didn't work. The
characters were downright goofy, and even Lisa was acting out of character
by eschewing college. (B-)
Joe Klemm: I felt that the episode had a lot of problems. First, I felt that
the whole Homer with the FBI thing was rushed so that we can get to the
Cuba scenes. Second, I doubt anyone would be that stupid to mail their
taxes at 10 P.M. Last, the ending was very abrupt with nothing clever to
it. (D)
Haynes Lee: Finally a good Burns episode with Fidel Castro to boot. The
ending was abrupt though. (A)
Ondre Lombard: I'm not sure if sheer physical agony might've detracted from
my enjoyment of this episode, or if missing the first six minutes (three,
actually, 8:00-8:03 probably was filled with commercials) disqualifies me
from reviewing it. Regardless, I saw enough to get the gist of the plot.
Homer's stupidity causes him to chip in his slipshod, last-minute tax
returns, leading to IRS trouble. I might have to agree that this episode
takes some weird twists and turns. Why the IRS would adopt a clear
bonehead for no apparent reason to do their spying and snitching is beyond
me, and the trillion dollar bill takes some serious liberties with reality.
I can say that there were some genuinely funny moments (Homer trying to get
confessions, the TV PG on the secret camera thing, how easily Apu got that
confidential info, Mr. Burns trying to scald Homer, Homer placing the FBI
agent's hand on his partner's butt…), but the plot was at worst
ridiculous, at best weak and lame. I swear to God I'll kill the next
writer who creates another complicated situation and gives it no solid
resolution. (F, but, as Mrs. Krabappel said in 7F03, “it's a high F,” if
only for some humorous moments.)
Emmett McKenna: Very disapointing Simpsons. I wish they would stick to
mocking Capitalism and not Socialism. The Batista jokes were good, but I
don't think it was funny how they made Capitalism to be the good system
in this episode. And I really didn't like how they had Mr. Burns stand up
for a worker… thats not something he'd usually do, its not like his
character or the character he is trying to represent as a rich corporate
jerk who does everything for the betterment of his money, not for any
people. It was truely a bad episode. I give it a… (D+)
Michael K. Neylon: I really can't say much about this episode , save that it
combines nearly all the faults that I find with the current staff. We
have Homer acting stupid (though not as bad as 4F22, for example), while
plots that go beyond the minor reality that OFF initially had (a trillion
dollar ball? At least be a BIT realistic…), terrible characterization
(That was Mr. Burns? Acted like some really other odd character; Lisa
would NEVER EVER NEVER say “Who needs college?” in that sense. Maybe if
she was being sarcastic, but that delivery wasn't there.), and a lack of
a plot that goes anywhere.
The initially idea, of Homer being in tax trouble would have made a good
episode, if they stuck to that idea. But once Homer is recruited by
the IRS, this episode fails, and the writers never seem to be able to
recover. I hardly laughed at this episode, and was waiting for it to end.
I dare for someone to say that this episode is better than anything
produced during the 3rd or 4th season. There was very little in this
episode resembling a Simpsons episode.
John Ogan: Well, it started to make me worry about my tax returns… I just
got them off today (April 10). Other than that, just another farfetched
plot that made me laugh a few times. A nice “filler” episode to kind of
dull the enthusiasm I've had for most of this season's episodes, which
I've loved for the most part. Wasn't a trip to Cuba the plot of a “Critic”
episode as well? Anyway, I loved the scenes with Fidel, I don't mind the
story being left in the air in the end every now and then. But I have a
suggestion, though…if time is a problem, either make it a two-parter, or
don't write the episode. Thanks. (C)
Damian Penny: I thought the ending was pretty abrupt, and we've been seeing
that a lot more lately. But I still laughed all the way through,
especially the black-and-white movie about how the trillion dollar bill was
supposed to go to Europe. (“Losers.”) (B)
Jeremy Reaban: This was a strange episode. Much like last weeks, reality has
no place in this episode. It did have a plot, of sorts, although it could
have used a real ending, not just everyone on a raft. I mean, would Mr
Burns bribe a jury to get Homer off? He's the one facing the most charges.
Having said that, the episode was pretty funny - especially if you dislike
Europeans (particularly the French) and the US government. Minuses - Lisa
sort of acted out of character. If she were suddenly rich, I might expect
her to buy something, like Malibu Stacies, but not dune buggies. [Not to
mention her “who needs college?” comment! –hmw] (A-)
Tom Rinschler: A pretty funny episode! The plot meandered, but at least
that's better than last week's jumpy episode. It was fun to see a good
Burns/Smithers episode again. Also amusing was the kids' reaction to
getting a trillion dollars (Lisa doesn't need college after all!) A nice,
if not perfect romp. (B)
Benjamin Robinson: This show plays like two episodes in one: A reality-based
show at the beginning, it slowly transforms into an eccentric adventure.
Monty Burns really made this one with a hilarious turn as his arrogant,
power-hungry self. There's also a funny appearance by Cuban strongman
Fidel Castro. Note also the episode's conservative stance on political
issues, which is uncharacteristic of “The Simpsons.” (B+)
Laverne Smith: I thought this week's episode was a lot funnier than last
week's, but the trillion dollar bill (with Truman's portrait no less) was
totally unrealistic, as others have mentioned already. Could it have been
a billion dollar bill, at least? Yes, I know it's a cartoon, but why throw
in so many historical facts and figures (the end of World War II in 1945,
Truman, Castro, Batista, etc.) and then something so farfetched? I can
remember when Reagan proposed the first trillion dollar budget (1987?)
Yours truly: A fun and entertaining episode, with a good balance of jokes,
seriousness, and plot development. The third act was a bit far-fetched,
but funny nonetheless. The ending wasn't very satisfying, however, leaving
various questions unanswered. (How did they get home? What their
punishment was, if any, when they got back? etc.) (B)
==============================================================================
> Comments and other observations
========================================= =====================================
>> I Will Not Demand What I'm Worth
The blackboard gag is clearly a reference to the voice actors of the show
demanding more money for their services in a dispute which ended as
recently as a week ago. It seems blackboard gags can be created at the
last minute!
>> New Years is delayed
Jordan Eisenberg: If I'm not mistaken, the dropping ball actually did get
stuck one year in Times Square, and it has been parodied in other shows.
Some may recall a Mad About You episode based entirely around this
incident. The bit with Wiggum shooting the ball and the audience counting
at a greater speed until the ball catches fire is a Simpsons original,
though.
>> A taxing situation
Benjamin Robinson: This item is primarily for the non-U.S. audience; Americans
are all too familiar with the IRS, and can skip to the next comment.
In the United States, a federal income tax came into existence on 1913.
Today, the Internal Revenue Service (IRS) is charged with the collection of
this tax. The deadline for filing your tax information with them is April
15th and, while a few disciplined souls – like Flanders – do file in
January, most people put it off for as long as they can. Traditionally,
the town's central post-office will stay open extra-late that day to
accommodate procrastinators. Just as traditionally, news hounds like Kent
Brockman will camp out and do a feature story on them. (Hey, it's not
often when you can predict where a news story will occur, so it's best not
to waste the opportunity.) Incidentally, so long as you are standing in
the line at midnight, the post office will postmark your IRS form with the
April 15 date, even if it's past the deadline when you get to the head of
the queue.
The IRS is probably the most-hated government agency, and not just because
nobody likes to pay their taxes. Tax forms can be fiendishly complex, and
if you make even one mistake, you could be in for an expensive audit. Come
to think of it, you could be in for an audit even if you do nothing wrong;
the IRS chooses returns for auditing, just to keep everyone
honest. Although one of the agents suggest that Homer's form was flagged
by a computer (and the IRS does have computers that can do this), the way
the form bounces into the “audit” bin suggests dumb luck. Also, notice
how the agents assume that Homer is guilty, and demand that he prove his
innocence. This is the opposite of how criminal proceedings work in the
U.S., and is one reason for the IRS's unpopularity.
By the way, the seal on the IRS desk is the actual IRS seal. To me, it
looks like the eagle has his dukes up, ready to beat the taxpayer into
submission.
>> Marshalling up some help
Benjamin Robinson: The Allies might have won World War II, but the conflict
left much of Europe in ruins. With most of the continent in poverty, the
U.S. government feared that the desperate people might turn to Communism,
or worse, that another dictator might arise and spark World War III.
(Remember, Hitler and Mussolini rose to power in part by promising relief
from the Great Depression, which affected Europe as well as the States.)
The Marshall Plan was a huge government foreign aid package designed to
help the Europeans get back on their feet and, not coincidentally, remain
allies of the Americans. Although foreign aid today is despised as a
waste of tax funds, the Marshall Plan was a success. Despite some
political differences, Germany and Italy remain in the American camp to
this day, and the Communists did not extend their power in Europe beyond
the nations that they possessed at the conclusion of the War.
>> That's-a lot of zeros!
Benjamin Robinson: There was no trillion dollar bill; in fact, there were no
bills in a denomination higher than $10,000. The $10K note, along with
companion $5,000 and $1,000 bills, was never intended for circulation
among the general public. Instead, it was used for inter-bank fund
transfers. If one bank needed to send a few hundred million to another
bank, it could send one armored truck filled with $10,000 bills, rather
than a convoy of trucks with lesser bills. As this episode demonstrates,
that could be dangerous if a dishonest guard decided to pocket a few
thousand dollars. Eventually, electronic fund transfers made the
physical hauling of cash obsolete, and the $10K bill was retired from
service. The largest denomination you can get today is the $100 bill.
(Trivia note: The $10K bill featured the portrait of Salman (Salmon?) P.
Chase, who was the U.S. Treasurer in the mid 1800's.)
But after some further research, Benjamin discovered a $100K bill had been
printed: It appears as though the government issued a $100,000 gold note,
which is currency but not the same thing as an x-dollar bill [it only
existed for official bank transactions and never circulated outside
federal banks –hmw]. It also implies that the $10,000 bill is the
largest “standard” dollar bill denomination.
Haynes Lee adds: At the height of pre-WWII Germany hyperinflation, the German
government printed a billion mark note. Even then, it was printed on only
one side.
>> Why the trillion dollar bill wouldn't work.
Andrew Gill:
- Even in 1959, our GNP would have increased by about 35% (Unless the
figures are in millions of dollars.)
- The government would immediately declare it void.
- No one's going to believe that there's a trillion dollar bill.
- No one can break a trillion dollar bill, so you'd have to spend it in
one place – the government.
- Thus, even though it says 1 TRILLION on it, it's worthless. Even Burns
would have known that it would be more valuable to him for the bill to
be delivered than to be stolen.
>> Cyanide capsules
Andrew Gill: (Assuming that they were cyanide capsules, of course) Homer
obviously wasn't well-trained in how to use cyanide pills. You put one
in your mouth the instant that a compromising situation could result, and
you wait for certainty. If the situation turns ugly, you bite down, and
die quickly, but if not, you swallow and nothing happens (if I recall
correctly, that is.)
>> That a spicy meatball
Benjamin Robinson: Alka Seltzer's “spicy meatball” ad is today considered a
classic commercial (assuming you grant the possibility that the word
“classic” can be associated with the word “commercial”). The setup is
simple: A crew is filming another commercial, for a spicy spaghetti
sauce. The actor in this faux ad is supposed to eat a meatball and say,
“That's-a spicy meatball!” Everything goes wrong, and this poor guy has
to eat about a cow's worth of meatballs. Fortunately, he can cure the
resulting indigestion with several shots of Jack Daniels. Just kidding!
It's Alka-Seltzer to the rescue, of course. The commercial ran in the
late Sixties or possibly the early Seventies, and the catch phrase became
well known. No surprise here that jingle-mad Homer still remembers it.
>> They'd get it out sooner, but the committee was busy watching “Melrose
Place”
Benjamin Robinson: High-definition TV (HDTV) is a new high-resolution
digital television broadcast standard. Or it be a new standard,
but has actually been vaporware for the last few years or so. Everybody
with a stake in the broadcast industry – television networks, station
affiliates, consumer watchdogs, the electronics industry, even Microsoft
– has been pushing contradicting ideas. Recently, Congress announced a
rollout timetable for HDTV, so the foot-dragging may finally be over.
>> El Duffo O Muerte
Emmett McKenna: The painting of the man holding the beer next to him saying
“el Duffo o muerte” (duff or death) was a painting of Ernesto “che”
Guevara. He helped the Cuban revolution in the late 50's. There is a
real painting of him like that in Cuba in the Revolution Plaza. But I
don't think it says anything on it, and if it did it probably would be
“¡Socialismo o Muerte!” (socialism or death). He was also refered to in
“Mr. Burns Got Shot: Part 2” at that Cuban night club called “Chez
Guevara.” He is an interesting person, you people might want to read up
on him.
>> Car Watch, Cuban style
Benjamin Robinson: The first taxi to pull away from the cab stand was a
1957 Ford. Burns identifies the next car as “the new Packard.” The
rear fender does look vaguely like a 1956 Packard, but the taillights
aren't correct. The headlight profile also could be from the ‘56
Packard. The rest of the car is pretty generic. (Incidentally, if you
wanted to see the “new” Packard, you’d have to travel back to 1958, when
the last one was built.)
So, you might be wondering, why are the Cubans so fascinated with
Fifties-era iron? After Castro seized the island, the U.S. government
forbade all trade between Americans and the Cubans, including cars. The
Cubans could still buy Soviet-made cars, but these were hard to come by
(as in most Communist-bloc countries) and seemed to disintegrate upon
contact with air. In response, the Cubans nursed along the last
American-built cars to make it to the island. They're still there today,
chugging along with hundreds and hundreds of thousands of miles on the
odometer. And you thought the Japanese made durable cars.
>> The China Syndrome
Joe Klemm: The China Syndrome is a 1979 film about a near meltdown of a
nuclear power plant. The film was a hit, thanks to the Three Mile Island
incident that happened around the same time the film was released.
[Coincidence? --hmw]
>> Castro Street
Don Del Grande: Castro Street in San Francisco IS full of… well, suffice it
to say that “Castro Street” is to homosexuality what “Wall Street” is to
finance; however, it's named after Joaquin Isidro de Castro, not Fidel.
(Maybe the Castro Street in Berkeley…)
>> Stars Mentioned
Tony Hill: Joey Heatherton has appeared on movies, TV and records but
probably isn't considered a star in any of them. She's best known as a
lounge singer in Vegas.
Spring Byington was a movie star of the 1930s and 40s. She's probably
best remembered as the star of the 50s sitcom “December Bride.”
>> 9 Returns a Day
Tony Hill: The IRS computer processes 9 returns per day. When I worked for
the Minnesota Department of Revenue, our goal was 20,000 per day.
>> Two Guys From Quantico Pizza
Tony Hill: Quantico is a small town in Virginia outside Washington where
IRS computers are kept. There's also a USMC base there.
>> This is the suit Charlie Chaplin was buried in!
Tony Hill: Charlie Chaplin's body was stolen from a cemetary in Switzerland
not long after his death in 1977. OFF seems to intimate that Burns did it.
>> Colliers Magazine
Tony Hill: According to the Library of Congress, Collier's Magazine folded
with the issue dated January 4, 1957. [Typical Burns! --hmw]
>> Immortal threads
- Smithers gay?: wearing pink feminine bathrobe. {hl}
- Where is Springfield?: Florida (close to Cuba). {hl}
>> Musical references
+ “Everything's Coming up Rose's”
- Smithers was singing it {je}
(Tony Hill adds, it was written by Stephen Sondheim and Jule Styne for
the 1959 Broadway musical “Gypsy,” in which it was introduced by Ethel
Merman.“)
+ ”Auld Lang Syne“
- written to traditional music by Robert Burns, no relation to Monty {th}
>> Miscellaneous
- An interesting correlation between 7F18 and this one also is that Marge asked
Smithers why he puts up with doing thankless tasks for Mr. Burns, and he
seems tolerant of this fact. Now he has grown annoyed with getting no
thanks for what he does for Mr. Burns. (He also seemed a bit less
subserviant to Mr. Burns in this episode, too. Very begrudging.) {ol}
- Did Homer remember to include Marge's self-employment income from her
pretzel stand? {ddg}
- Yet another reference of Burns' ancient views: Batista was kicked out of
Cuba in 1959! {tr}
- MPAA rating: TV-PG
- Jordan Eisenberg's alterna-title for the episode: ”Raging Monty Burns and
his Grumbling Employees in ‘The Curse of the Spying Tax Hitch’“.
- Haynes Lee's alterna-title is ”A Farewell To Burns".
==============================================================================
> Quotes and scene summary
============================================== ================================
% The townsfolk are all out late tonight, as it's New Year's Eve. People are
% gathered at the town square to celebrate. As the New Years ball lowers down
% the pole, the citizens begin the countdown.]
All: 10! 9! 8!
[The New Years ball gets stuck]
8! 8! 8!
Homer: Ohh, will this horrible year never end?
Chief Wiggum: We've never lost a year before, and I'll be damned if we're
gonna lose one on my shift! [shoots the ball. It falls quickly.]
All: [Quickly] 7654321!
– New Years countdown, ala Springfield, “The Trouble With Trillions”
% Almost everyone in Springfield is celebrating. Except Flanders, who lies in
% bed with Maude, and is woken up by the fireworks, music, and singing.
Oh, January 1st! Better get going on those taxes, Neddy!
– Ned Flanders wakes up at midnight, “The Trouble With Trillions”
% The hours are getting on now, and Ned is finishing up his taxes. Todd
% enters.
Todd: Daddy, what do taxes pay for?
Ned: Oh, why, everything! Policemen, trees, sunshine! And lets not forget the
folks who just don't feel like working, God bless 'em!
– “The Trouble With Trillions”
% Ned throws a few mints into the envelope and gets going so he can reach the
% post office as it opens. Once there, he posts them, and on the way out he
% sees Dr. Hibbert.
Ned: Getting your taxes out of the way?
Dr. Hibbert: No, just mailing out death certificates for holiday related
fatalities! [laughs]
– At the post office, January 1st, “The Trouble With Trillions”
% Four months later, the very same post office is swarmed with people who have
% left their tax returns to the very last minute. Queues of nervous people
% march slowly into the post office. Inside…
[On megaphone] Alright, people, listen up! The harder you push, the faster
we will all get outta here!
– Chief Wiggum keeps the post office crowd under control on the last night
of the tax return deadline, “The Trouble With Trillions”
% Principle Skinner tries to cut into the queue next to Mrs. Krabappel.
Principle Skinner: Oh, Edna! You're certainly looking lovely tonight! Is that
a.. new green sweater?
Mrs. Krabappel: Hm, until you're willing to file jointly… back of the
line, Seymour!
– Skinner tries to cut into the tax returns queue,
“The Trouble With Trillions”
[Lenny calculates his expenses leaning on Frink's back.]
Professor Frink: Oh no, no, no, I felt that! You didn't carry the 1, you
foolish person! Now you'll incur the penalties, compound
interest, and the wrath, and the trudgeons! B'hoy!
– “The Trouble With Trillions”
% Kent Brockman does a news report.
This is Kent Brockman, live at the Springfield post office on tax day! It's
literally the eleventh hour, 10 PM!
– Kent Brockman, “The Trouble With Trillions”
Kent Brockman: Tardy tax payers are scrambling to mail their returns by
midnight! Sir, why did you wait until the last minute to pay
your taxes?
Otto: Taxes?! Isn't this the line for Metallica?
– “The Trouble With Trillions”
% At home, the Simpsons watch the whole thing on TV.
Would you look at those morons… I paid my taxes over a year ago!
– Uh oh. Homer, “The Trouble With Trillions”
% Lisa reminds Homer that you have to do your taxes every year, so Homer
% panics and starts them immediately!
Homer: Marge! How many kids do we have? Oh, no time to count, I'll just
estimate! Uh… nine!
Marge: Homer, you know we don't h–
Homer: Shut up, shut up! If I don't hear you it's not illegal! OK, I need
some deductions, deductions… ah!! Business gifts!
[Homer grabs the boat painting from above the couch and hands it to
Marge.]
Here you go, keep using nuclear power!
Marge: Homer! I painted that for you!
Homer: OK, Marge, if anyone asks, you require twenty four hour nursing care,
Lisa's a clergyman, Maggie is seven people, and Bart was wounded in
Vietnam!
Bart: Cool!
[Homer shoves in some quick gifts and tapes the envelope up in a ball.]
– Homer does his taxes on the last minute, “The Trouble With Trillions”
% Homer jumps in the car and screeches away.
[Re-hangs her picture on the wall, sadly.] Hmm, you really had a lot of talent
kid…
– Marge, “The Trouble With Trillions”
% The midnight bells begin to toll, and Homer makes every effort to get to the
% post office on time. He crosses red traffic lights, speeds, drives with his
% eyes closed, stops for a hotdog and a drink… he just manages to get them
% in on time. He literally throws the parcel in as the post office doors are
% closing.
% At Moes…
Moe: So Lenny, let's say you pull a thorn outta the Pope's butt, and he
grants you one wish, what'll it be?
Lenny: Hmm, only one, huh? Well… I've always wondered what it'd feel like to
wear something that's been ironed.
Carl: [whistles impressed] That'd be sweet. What about you, Moe?
Moe: Ah, gee, I was gonna say a night with Joey Heatherton, but an ironed
shirt… damn, that's tempting.
Lenny: What about you, Homer?
Homer: Well…
[Two suit-wearing goons bust in.]
Agent: Homer Simpson? United States government!
[They drag Homer out.]
Homer: Help! Somebody! Help!
[They leave immediately, taking Homer with them, and the door shuts.]
Moe: So how about you, Barn? One wish.
– The best friends in the world, “The Trouble With Trillions”
% Lucius Sweet, Gill, and Homer are in a waiting room, awaiting doom. [Hyuk,
% that rhymes.. hyuk hyuk.. –hmw]
[Wiping his sweaty forehead with paper money] This is an agregious
miscarriagement of taxitude!
– Lucius Sweet in tax trouble, “The Trouble With Trillions”
Oh, this is bad, this is really bad! You work, and you slave, and you steal
just enough for a sweet lick of that shiny brass ring… don't I get a lick?
Doesn't Gil get a lick?
– Gil, “The Trouble With Trillions”
% Homer is called in.
Mr. Simpson, this government computer can process over nine tax returns per
day. Did you really think you could fool it?
– “The Trouble With Trillions”
% Homer tries to get himself out of trouble by saying he'll do anything for
% them. They agree that he can work for them.
Agent Johnson (FBI): From now on, you're gonna work for us!
Homer: OK, but could you pay me under the table? [quietly] I
got a little tax problem…
– Homer speaks to the government regarding his tax problems,
“The Trouble With Trillions”
% Homer's job is to spy/squeal on his friends, so at home, they fix some
% spying equipment underneath his shirt.
Homer: Does this make me look fat?
Lisa: No, it makes you look like a tool of government opression!
Homer: But not fat…
– “The Trouble With Trillions”
% Homer stands outside the FBI van disguised as a regular delivery van.
If my cover gets blown and I need help, what's the signal? [The goons stare
at him briefly, and then slam the door.]
– Homer, “The Trouble With Trillions”
% Homer walks into Moes.
Homer: [bad acting] Hey, so you're watching the ballgame. Looks like a good
one! Any of you involved in any illegal activity, 'cause I could sure
go for some!
Johnson: [in van] Oh, God!
Homer: How about you, Lenny? Testing, testing… Lenny?
Lenny: Are you saying you wanna commit a crime, Homer?
Homer: Maybe. But first I need to hear about some other crimes to get me
fired up.
Carl: You mean like the time you was running moonshine outta your basement?
Barney: Or that telemarketing scam you pulled?
Homer: Uh… like those, but involving you!
Moe: Oh, you mean like the time Barney beat up George Bush.
Homer: Barney? That was me! [bitter] And I'd do it again…
Charlie: Why stop there, Homer? My militia has a secret plan to beat up all
sorts of government officials! That'll teach them to drag their feet
on high definition TV!
[The goons bust in.]
Johnson: You're under arrest for conspiracy!
[they drag him out.]
Moe: How did they finger Charlie? Somebody must've ratted him out!
Homer: Oh, that's ridiculous, Moe. End transmission.
– “The Trouble With Trillions”
% Homer sits in the park, and a government worker approaches him and tells
% him they like his work, and they have another assignment for him.
% After a short walk, they arrive at a photo booth. Milhouse is in there
% taking photos of himself flexing his “muscles” with his shirt off, but he
% quickly runs away.
Government guy: Mr. Simpson, please cover your ears while I say the secret
access word. [Homer does so.] Cheese!
[A film begins inside the booth.]
Film: Good morning, Agent Johnson…
– Secret government film inside a photo booth, “The Trouble With Trillions”
% The film explains how in 1945, Europe struggled to rebuild after the war.
% President Truman authorised the one time printing of a trillion dollar
% bill to help Europe. The man set to deliver the bill was America's richest,
% therefore must trustworthy, man – Mr. Burns! However, the trillion dollar
% bill was never delivered.
This film will self-destruct, if not properly stored.
– Top secret government film, “The Trouble With Trillions”
We believe Burns still has that bill hidden somewhere in his house. But all
we've ascertained from satellite photos is that it's not on the roof!
– Agent Johnson, “The Trouble With Trillions”
% Homer is reluctant to betray his boss, but he has no other choice. As Homer
% and Agent Johnson leave, Apu and Manjula step into the photo booth and get
% ready for their photo… “cheese!”
% Back at Burns Manor Smithers presents Mr. Burns with an exquisite dinner,
% which Burns takes for granted, and throws insults in Smithers' face.
% Smithers leaves. Moments later, Homer arrives at the door.
Mr. Burns: Now what, Smithers? I– You're not Smithers!
Homer: I'm Homer Simpson, your trusted employee…
Mr. Burns: [faking delight, repeatedly pushes the "release the hounds" button]
An employee, eh? What a pleasant surprise? [pause] Hmm… a pack
of vicious dogs should be ripping you to pieces…
Homer: Uh.. I don't know what to tell ya!
Mr. Burns: Very well, come on in. Perhaps I have something I can scald you
with.
– Excellent. “The Trouble With Trillions”
% Inside, Burns starts heating some water and asks Homer what he is here for.
% Homer begins to say Burns, despite his cold reputation, is quite different
% deep down inside, but Burns doesn't let him finish and throws the water
% all over Homer. It's still cold, so Burns goes to fetch Homer a towel. While
% he's gone, Homer snoops around the kitchen searching for the trillion dollar
% bill. Burns catches Homer red-handed, but seems to think he's a journalist
% from Colliers Magazine and wants to put Burns in “star snoop”. Homer plays
% along, and gets a hassle-free tour of Burns Manor.
Mr. Burns: Let me show you around! I hope you don't mind a little walking!
Homer: [brings suicide pill to mouth]
– Homer undercover, “The Trouble With Trillions”
% Burns begins the tour showing Homer some interesting things he's collected.
Oh, you'll find this amusing. The suit Charlie Chaplin was buried in!
– Burns shows Homer his Manor, “The Trouble With Trillions”
% They reach a room called “The Patriots” full of dioramas of Burns' ancestors
% performing their historic acts. One of them is of Mr. Burns himself in a
% heroic pose, holding what looks like the trillion dollar bill. However,
% Burns tells Homer that it's just a copy, and he keeps the real bill with him
% at all times. He shows it to Homer.
Wow… that must be worth a fortune!
– Homer admires Mr. Burns' trillion dollar bill, “The Trouble With Trillions”
% The agents bust in.
Montgomery Burns, you're under arrest, for grand, grand, grand, grand larceny.
– The US Government catch Burns, thief of a trillion dollar bill,
“The Trouble With Trillions”
% They grab Burns and start to take him away. As Burns is escorted out of the
% manor, he begins a speech about how the real thieves are them – the
% Government. They make people like Homer pay income taxes for worthless
% causes. Burns yells back to Homer, telling him not to let the Government
% push him around. He has a voice – Colliers Magazine! Homer is inspired by
% this, and pulls the rug under the agents causing them to trip, knocking them
% unconscious.
Take that, Uncle Sam!
– Homer fights the Government, “The Trouble With Trillions”
% Homer grabs Burns and makes a run for it, but not before taking one of the
% agents hands, and putting it on the other's backside, and giggling like a
% schoolgirl.
% Homer and Burns make a getaway in an ancient automobile. Homer suggests
% they hide out at his place – he has beer! But Burns has other plans. There
% is only one man who can get them out of this.
% Smithers irons his clothes, singing to himself. The doorbell rings.
All right, all right… keep your top on!
– Smithers answers the door, “The Trouble With Trillions”
% The three of them drive along.
Mr. Burns: And now our own government is hunting us down like a couple of
common snow leopards!
Smithers: It's an outrage, sir.
– “The Trouble With Trillions”
% Chief Wiggum relaxes on patrol.
Agent Johnson: [on speaker] This is Agent Johnson from the FBI. Be on the
lookout for a 1936 Maroon Stutz Bearcat!
[A 1936 Maroon Stutz Bearcat whizzes past.]
Chief Wiggum: [lazy] Ahh, that really was more of a burgundy.
– “The Trouble With Trillions”
% They continue their escape.
Homer: Oh no, we're never gonna make it! Let's just divide up the trillion
dollars and go our separate ways!
Smithers: Ah, I'm afraid we've got to get out of the country.
Mr. Burns: Capitol idea! Let's blow this fascist popsicle stand! Purchase a
small island somewhere, and start our own country free from the
relentless tyranny of.. Uncle Sam.
Homer: But I can't leave the country, what about my wife and kids?
Smithers: [unimpressed] That can be shipped.
– “The Trouble With Trillions”
% Agent Johnson is at the Simpsons home, asking the kids what they think Homer
% would do with a trillion dollars. The kids are delighted to hear that their
% father is rich, and Marge tells them the money is going towards their
% college education. Lisa uncharacteristically says “who needs college?” and
% suggests they buy dune buggies instead.
% Burns and Smithers are ready to leave, but Homer isn't on their plane.
% He's trying to buy some Buzz Cola from a machine with the trillion dollar
% bill! Burns tells him there is soda on the plane, so he jumps aboard. It's
% a small plane, just enough for the three of them. Soon enough, they are
% flying above the ocean, about to leave US territory.
Agent Johnson: [in another plane] Attention, fugitives! You are leaving US
jurisdiction. Turn back immediately, or we will be unable to
prosecute you!
Homer: [worried] We'd better do what he says!
– “The Trouble With Trillions”
% Naturally, they continue their escape, since they are now above
% international waters.
Agent Johnson: Oh nuts!
Agent Miller: They'll be back. They'll miss American TV!
– “The Trouble With Trillions”
% The three fugitives see various islands.
Mr. Burns: Any of these islands would make a fine new country!
Homer: I call president!
Mr. Burns: Vice president!
Smithers: [miserable] Ohhh…
– “The Trouble With Trillions”
Mr. Burns: There's a big one, and it has freedom written all over it!
Smithers: Sir, that's Cuba.
Mr. Burns: Cuba, eh? Take her down, Smithers!
Smithers: Uh, you're flying the plane, sir…
Mr. Burns: Excellent.
– “The Trouble With Trillions”
% They have landed.
Sorry about the landing, boys. This fog is so thick I can't even see my own
cataracts!
– Mr. Burns, “The Trouble With Trillions”
% Homer phones Marge, as Burns, Smithers and Homer.
Mr. Burns: So you say Batista's gone! [to Homer] Did you know that?
Homer: I had no idea!
Mr. Burns: In that case just take us to whoever's in charge!
– Burns' ancient views, “The Trouble With Trillions”
% Elsewhere, Castro talks to his associates.
Castro: Comrads, our nation is completely bankrupt! We have no choice but to
abandon communism!
All: [sighs]
Castro: I know, I know, I know… but we all knew from day one this mumbo
jumbo wouldn't fly! I'll call Washington and tell them they won.
Man: But presidente, America tried to kill you!
Castro: Ah, they're not so bad. They even named a street after me in San
Francisco!
Man 2: [whispers in Castro's ear]
Castro: It's full of ?!
– “The Trouble With Trillions”
% One of Castro's workers tells him some men with a trillion dollar bill are
% here to see him.
Mr. Burns: Oh, so the island's not for sale, eh? Well, will you at least
permit us to live in your socialist paradise?
Castro: You talking about Cuba?
– “The Trouble With Trillions”
Mr. Burns: All we ask is preferential treatment because of my fabulous wealth!
[Burns holds the trillion dollar bill up.]
Castro: May I see?
Mr. Burns: Ho ho ho, see with your eyes, not with your hands!
Castro: Please, we are all amigos here!
Homer: Mr. Burns.. I think we can trust the president of Cuba..
Mr. Burns: [hands it to Castro, and waits a couple of seconds.] Now, give it
back…
Castro: Give what back?
Mr. Burns: D'ohh…
– “The Trouble With Trillions”
% The three men are on a crudely made raft in the middle of the ocean headed
% back home.
Homer: It's hard to believe there's a place worse than America, but we
found it!
Mr. Burns: Yes, I too feel renewed appreciation for the good old US of A.
Oppression and harrassment are a small price to pay to live in the
land of the free.
Smithers: Sir, aren't you facing some serious jail time?
Mr. Burns: Well, if it's a crime to love one's country, then I'm guilty. And
if it's a crime to steal a trillion dollars from our government and
hand it over to communist Cuba, then I'm guilty of that too. And if
it's a crime to bribe a jury, then so help me, I'll soon be guilty
of that!
Homer: God bless America!
– “The Trouble With Trillions”
==============================================================================
> Contributors
========================================= =====================================
{ag} Andrew Gill
{ad} Anthony Dean
{af} Alex Foley
{bjr} Benjamin Robinson
{dk} Diego Kontarovsky
{ddg} Don Del Grande
{hl} Haynes Lee
{je} Jordan Eisenberg
{jk} Joe Klemm
{mm} Michael Morbius
{nmd} Nathan Mulac DeHoff
{ol} Ondre Lombard
{th} Tony Hill
{tr} Tom Rinschler
==============================================================================
> Legal mumbo jumbo
================================================ ==============================
[5F14] capsule copyright 2001, Hari Michael Wierny. (The quotes remain the
property of Fox, and the reproduced articles remain the property of their
respective authors. I'm just taking credit for the compilation.) Not to be
redistributed in public forum without permission.
Thanks to Benjamin Robinson and Frederic Briere for providing me with the
a.t.s. archives necessary for completing the capsule to it's fullest.
Hugi notar vefkökur til að bæta notendaupplifun á vefsíðunni og greina umferð um hana.
Einnig hefur Hugi uppfært persónuverndarstefnu sína.