1. Democrats

2. Hippies

3. French People

4. Kenny not responding to his insults

5. Kyle's mom getting a hair up her ass

6. Getting called a fatass

7. Getting called a fatso

8. His Mom making him play with his little friends

9. Kyle and Stan telling him he has an anal probe

10. Having an anal probe

11. Being out of cheesy poofs

12. Missing “Marty's Movie Reviews”

13. Missing Terrance and Phillip

14. Getting crap from people for dressing up like Adolf
Hitler

15. Having to dress up like a “scary ghost”

16. Getting yelled at by Mr. Hat

17. Grampa telling him that he “humped his mom like a
little bitch”

018. Grampa telling him that he “had his way with his
grandma too”

19. Grampa telling him that his grandma is a choice piece
of ass

20. Being out of snacky cakes

21. Getting screwed because Kyle's mom is a bitch

22. Kyle's mom calling his mom

23. Getting trapped on a bus with his class

24. People refusing to roshambo for something he wants

25. Losing at a roshambo match

26. Having to watch “She's The Sheriff”

27. Being held captive by Barbra Streisand

28. Having to listen to Barbra Streisand sing

29. Kitty meowing for food

30. Kitty being a dildo

31. Ike scaring the crap out of him when he is trying to
steal from Kyle

32. Having to drop a cow on someone when you could just
shoot them

33. People not respecting his authority

34. Being chased around by Death

35. People seeing “talking poo”

36. Kyle's mom ruining christmas

37. Having to wait so long to find out who his dad is

38. Now having to find out who his mom is

39. Getting chased around by Death when he was after
Kenny the whole time

40. Getting abducted by aliens

41. Having to find something to entertain himself now
that Terrance and Phillip are gone

42. Having to listen to Chef sing about sex instead of
giving him advice

43. Getting Ants In The Pants for his birthday instead of
a red megaman

44. Getting knocked out of his desk by Damien when he had
a poofie pie in that desk

45. Kenny getting turned in to duck-billed platypus when
he was supposed to get Cartman a yellow megaman for his
birthday

46. New kids sitting at his lunch table

47. Kenny getting pissed off and punching him

48. Having the Satan vs Jesus match on the same day as
his birthday

49. People telling him that his mom is on the cover of
“Crackwhore Magazine”

50. Finding out that his mom is on the cover of
“Crackwhore Magazine”

51. People plotting against him on his birthday

52. Getting stiffed on candy on Halloween

53. Kyle trying to eat christmas snow

54. Ike bugging him when he follows Kyle to the busstop

55. Ms. Crabtree telling him to shut up.

56. Ms. Crabtree threatening to kill the cute little
bunny

57. Damien burning down the playground

58. People farting on him

59. Finding out that people would rather help Jesus then
shop for his birthday presents

60. Pip actually thinking that he would get invited to
Cartman's party

61. Damien and Pip showing up at his party when they
weren't invited

62. Pansies (not the flower)

63. People putting tapes of him on “America's Stupidest
Home Videos”

64. Not getting enough sleep at night because of bogus
nightmares

65. Kyle and Stan trying to scare him

66. Being called fatboy

67. Farting fire

68. Ms. Crabtree not letting him off the bus

69. Having to sit in the corner because of his fire farts

70. People who are too much of a pansie to hunt

71. Stan being totally immature

72. Chef joining in on “the little joke”

73. Not getting any salsbury steak

74. Stan telling him he can “stop farting fire now” when
he can't

75. Kenny eating everybody on Halloween who would
otherwise give him candy

76. His mom actually trying to get him to eat when he is
pissed off

77. His mom asking him if he wants chessy poofs (yeah I
want cheesy poofs!)

78. Those days when everything involves thing either
going in or coming out of his ass

79. His mom making him go out and play in the fun snow

80. Kyle and Stan trying to convince him that he has an
80 foot saucer sticking out of his ass

81. His mom babying him before he goes hunting with his
friends

82. His friends making fun of him because his mom babys
him

83. Not being able to become a lesbian so he can date Ms.
Ellen

84. Stan telling Ned that he is a liar

85. Getting crap from people because of his “Vietnam
flashbacks”

86. Jimbo lying to him about his experience in Vietnam

87. Having to go on Jesus and Pals and having to throw a
chair at Ned

88. Treehuggers

89. Jews
90. Missing the new “Fantasy Island”

91. Missing the new “Barnaby Jones”

92. Granola

93. First graders peeing in the pool when he is trying to
swim

94. Fireworks being banned in the state of Colorado
because some kid in North Park blew his hands off

95. Getting crap from Stan, Kyle, and Kenny when he is
trying to make the best out of a bad situation

96. Tina Yuthers

97. Stan and Kyle talking about sticking M80s up
Kitty’s ass

98. Suzanne Sumers

99. Stan and Kyle trying to get that elephant to make
love to his pig

100. Being compared to Jimmy Hernandez

101. Life in general