Mig langaði að gera songfic =D



I sat down behind my desk. It was 11 o’clock in the evening, but I was still to go through about two hours of paper work. I had to get up at 5 the next morning, which would give me around 4 hours of sleep, as normally.

Looking back, I never used to have those sleepless nights. There were no kids to feed, cloth and get to sleep. There was no full time job, which got me so tired that I could barely get to the rest of my every day routine.

Sometimes, when I wake up in the morning, I feel like I’m just a doll, controlled by some strange power from above. I haven’t gone out for dinner for many years. I haven’t gone to a dance for an even longer time. My life seems so…colorless, if that’s even a word (Which I’m pretty sure it is).

Sometimes I get the feelin'
I was back in the old days - long ago
When we were kids, when we were young
Things seemed so perfect - you know
The days were endless, we were crazy - we were young
The sun was always shinin' - we just lived for fun
Sometimes it seems like lately - I just don't know
The rest of my life's been - just a show

As I started sorting through those incredibly long and boring bills, contracts and reports, I found that I wouldn’t be able to go through them all anyway, without falling asleep. So I stood up, leaving them to be sorted out tomorrow.

I made my way to the bathroom, trying to rub the sleepiness out of my eyes. I brushed my teeth and walked into the bedroom. The sleeping form of my husband made me envy the fact that his day always seemed to be so much easier and shorter. Even when we were kids, he always seemed to do everything with so much less effort.

I’m not an evening person. Always tend to hate everything and everyone. I’m one of those grumpy old women, even though I’m not that old…really.

I quickly changed into my pajamas, before crawling into bed and giving my husband a kiss on the forehead and mumbling an ‘I love you’. To my surprise, he smiled – his eyes still closed – and mumbled the same thing back.

Those were the days of our lives
The bad things in life were so few
Those days are all gone now but one thing is true -
When I look and I find, I still love you

I didn’t fall asleep so fast. I was thinking. It was coming a part of my daily routine, laying in bed and thinking about my youth. I always used to be so happy and carefree. I would give everything to be at that age again, loving everything around me and never having a bad day.

But the only thing that can give me any idea of how that feeling was (that feeling that is so long forgotten) are my kids. Always laughing and smiling. Sometimes I just sit down and watch them, remembering how everything used to be. Bringing back that feeling of happiness, joy and everything in between (which isn’t very much).

You can't turn back the clock, you can't turn back the tide
Ain't that a shame
I'd like to go back one time on a roller coaster ride
When life was just a game
No use sitting and thinkin' on what you did
When you can lay back and enjoy it through your kids
Sometimes it seems like lately I just don't know
Better sit back and go - with the flow

That time was way too short for my liking. In a matter of seconds, it was all gone.

But in a way, it was all still there. I was just playing another role. There are still all of those children and teenagers, laughing and playing pranks on people…the freedom never left the world. It never even left the house. It left me, yes. But it settled in my children instead. It settled in the teenagers next door. It’s everywhere, I’m just not the one enjoying it anymore.

Cos these are the days of our lives
They've flown in the swiftness of time
These days are all gone now but some things remain
When I look and I find - no change

There was never anything wrong. The sun was always shining, we just lived for fun. The rainy days were just…God having a bath. There were never any money problems, never anyone in pain. Everyone loved everyone, everybody enjoyed the company of everybody. It was so great, never having to worry. Never having to face the real life…never having to play the role that would come to us later in life.

I turned to my side, looking at my husband. I gave him another smile, even though his eyes were closed and he was asleep.

“I still love you, honey. That hasn’t changed,”

Those were the days of our lives
The bad things in life were so few
Those days are all gone now but one thing's still true -
When I look and I find, I still love you

I still love you