Friendship is rare,
Do you know what I'm sayin' to you?
Friendship is rare.
My derriere,
When you find out much later
That they don't really care.
It's rare to me, can't you see?
It's rare to me, can't you see?

Oh shit there's a bear,
Could you hand me that shotgun buddy,
Also that chair?
We're fighting a bear
Now your life's in grave danger
And you don't even care.
It's rare to me, can't you see?
It's rare to me, can't you see?
It's rare to me,
Say a prayer for me,
'Cause it's rare to be
In Tenacious D.

Friends will be friends
They're running naked in the sand,
Friends holding hands
Will someday surely form a band,
Friends will be friends
They say that friends are friends
To the bitter end.
Long-as-there's-a-record-deal-we'll-always-be-friends!
Long-as-there's-a-record-deal-we'll-always-be-friends!

Friends will be friends
They're running naked in the sand,
Friends holding hands
Will someday surely form a band,
Friends will be friends
They say that friends are friends
To the bitter end.
Long-as-there's-a-record-deal-we'll-always-be-friends!
Long as there's a record deal we'll always be friends, yeah

I've got a bike
You can ride it if you like
It's got a basket
A bell that rings
And things to make it look good
I'd give it to you if I could
But I borrowed it

You're the kind of girl that fits in with my world
I'll give you anything
Everything if you want things

I've got a cloak
It's a bit of a joke
There's a tear up the front
It's red and black
I've had it for months
If you think it could look good
Then I guess it should

You're the kind of girl that fits in with my world
I'll give you anything
Everything if you want things

I know a mouse
And he hasn't got a house
I don't know why
I call him Gerald
He's getting rather old
But he's a good mouse

You're the kind of girl that fits in with my world
I'll give you anything
Everything if you want things

I've got a clan of gingerbread men
Here a man
There a man
Lots of gingerbread men
Take a couple if you wish
They're on the dish

You're the kind of girl that fits in with my world
I'll give you anything
Everything if you want things

I know a room full of musical tunes
Some rhyme
Some ching
Most of them are clockwork
Let's go into the other room and make them work

Robert owes half to Grenville
Who in turn gave half to Larry
Who adored my instrumentals
And so he gave half to a foreign publisher
She took half the money that was earned in some far distant land
Gave back half to Larry and I end up with half of goodness knows what
Oh can somebody explain why things go on this way
I thought they were my friends I can't believe it's me, I can't believe that I'm so green
Eyes down round and round let's all sit and watch the moneygoround
Everyone take a little bit here and a little bit there
Do they all deserve money from a song that they've never heard
They don't know the tune and they don't know the words
But they don't give a damn
There's no end to it I'm in a pit and I'm stuck in it
The money goes round and around and around
And it comes out here when they've all taken their share
I went to see a solicitor and my story was heard and the writs were served
On the verge of a nervous breakdown I decided to fight right to the end
But if I ever get my money I'll be too old and grey to spend it
Oh, but life goes on and on and no one ever wins
And time goes quickly by just like the moneygoround
I only hope that I'll survive

I play in a band, we're the best in the land
We're big in both Chelsea and France
I play one mean guitar and then score at the bar
There's a line of chicks waiting for their chance
So come on now honey, I'll make you feel pretty
These other gals mean nothing to me
Let's finish these drinks and be gone for the night
'Cause I'm more than a handful, you'll see

[Chorus:]
So kiss me, I'm shitfaced
I'm soaked, I'm soiled and brown
in the trousers, she kissed me
And I only bought her one round

I can bench press a car, I'm an ex football star
with degrees from both Harvard and Yale
Girls just can't keep up, I'm a real love machine
I've had far better sex while in jail
I've designed the Sears Tower, I make two grand an hour
I cook the world's best duck flambe
I'll take the pick of the litter, girls jockey for me
I don't need these lines to get laid

[Chorus]

I'm a man of the night, a real ladies delight
See my figure was chiseled from stone
One more for the gal then I'll escort her home
Come last call, I'm never alone
I've a house on the hill with a red water bed
That puts Hugh Heffnor's mansion to shame
With girls by the pool and Italian sports cars
I'm just here in this dump for the game

[Chorus x2]

Ahh, fuck it. Who am I shitting?

I'm a pitiful sight, and I ain't all that bright
I'm definitely not chiseled from stone
I'm a cheat and a liar, no woman's desire
I'll probably die cold and alone

But just give me a chance, ‘cause deep down inside
I swear I got a big heart of gold
I’m a monogamous man, no more one night stands
Come on, honey, let me take you home

[Chorus x4]

enemy
lasagna
robust
below
wax
semiautomatic
aqua
accompany
slacks
why
coffee
gymnastic
motorcycle
unibrow
existential
plastic
extra
nightly
cow

damn
jettison
goodbye
through
everything
center
who
spidery
concubine
pale
lickity-split
remorse
vitamin
after
force
already
nested
human
wine

flight
luminary
uprise
entanglement
broke
unsophisticated
clockwise
holiday
way
smoke
abundant
various
metaphorically
applause
underneath
hilarious
oxymoron
claws

rectangular
awkward
hurt
million
controvert
never
undressing
sneer
blue
therapy
fall
inside
father
dethrone
applied
guillotine
apprehensive
engineer

Word Disassociation (Disassociation)
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prance
omelette
stalking
chimneysweep
eleven
hatred
earmuff
okay
rathskeller
my
elusive
hula
yellow
sketching
creamy
helium
gentlemanly
communique

flouncy
panicky
redundant
psychedelic
while
raisin
terrible
abundant
polyurethane
smile
scrumptious
mechanical
jungle
uncle
wish
paleobotanical
backwards
licorice

truth
medical
entertain
cleverly
porridge
brain
jellyfish
fingernail
agnostic
oppressive
wall
platypus
parasol
sauntering
sawdust
opera
monorail
playing…

Word Disassociation (Disassociation)
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letter
no
sly
violin
dust-bunny
explode
serenade
why
spoil
play
drip
skullduggery
freezer
monocle
pelican
cool
milk
freak
tongue
television
staple-gun
mellow
face
bubblegum
periscope
fight
silly
elephant
akimbo
paranoia
sever
maybe
crush
toy
spoon
melt
feather
clear
king
weird
space
love
domino
reality
apostrophe

(Word Disassociation Word Disassociation Word Disassociation…)

dollar
jade
velocity
meringue
assuming
gentle
mister
advertisement
suitcase
pining
lobsters
over
murderous
distraction
flames
imposter
a-cappella
crouch
about
bionic
ruby
quickly
antidisestablishmentarianism

Word Disassociation (Disassociation)
Word Disassociation (Disassociation)
Word Disassociation (Disassociation)
Word Disassociation (Disassociation)
Word Disassociation (Disassociation)
Word Disassociation (Disassociation)
Word Disassociation (Disassociation)
Word Disassociation (Disassociation)