Ég ákvað áðan að setjast niður og læra, en í stað þess vall upp úr mér þessi saga. Langaði að gera eitthvað við hana annað en að kasta henni beint í tunnuna, og hvar er betri staður en þessi?


I was flying on my bike down that dreadful hill that I had nearly killed myself riding up only a few moments ago. How shamelessly useless that just seemed. Up, just do go down again. A bit fun, though. Feeling the cool breeze running trough my smooth, shining red hair felt kinda good. I had just washed it with eggs that morning. My grandpa told me to, he said he used to do that same thing when he was a young model in Norway. Mr. Norway, that was my old man. He got 97% of the votes. I suspect him to have slept with one of the judges. He would have made great succes as a supermodel there, or so he said himself (after all, he's got great cheekbones and a really long throat), but he got fed up with the aggressive mooses. He moved to Belgium and kidnapped my grandma. It's still a mistery to me how they ended up getting married. When I asked grandma a few years ago, she just laughed awfully loud and said that she was better of without that belgian chocolate anyway.
Splatt! A huge bat. Splashed on my goggles. Again. I always got carried away that way, thinking about my grandpa or something. I flew myself into the next bush since my brakes were damaged. I took of my furry goggles and carefully picked up the smashed, slimy bat. I held it dangling between my fingers and watched for a moment before I put it in my pocket. I oughta have a pretty nice collecton by then, this wasn't the first time that happened. Last week I even got a badger. Hoping for a llama some day.

I put my goggles back on and climbed back on to my bike and kept riding down the hill. That's when I was it. That damn Dick-kid. It lived just around the corner, it had always lived there. And since the moment I first saw it, there had been sort of a battle between us. I remember the first time. It was jumping around in the street in it's shorts only, throwing kidneybeans at the old folks. I watched it through my spyglass and thought that I surely could do better than that. So I jumped out from the gutter where my room was back then and with a great roar, I grabbed half of it's beans and threw them even harder than it had. I swear to god, I have never seen such a wicked face expression in my entire life. It stood there for a moment, the it began to jump again. It jumped very eagerly, so eagerly that suddenly there appeard a watermelon underneath it's stubby feet. I tried to snatch the melon, but it was too fast for me. In a brief moment, it had picked it up, cut it into boats and sailed away. I stood there and watched it sail away with ease and great triumph. I clenched my fist and screamed in a voice that surely wasn't my own: “You foul creature. This battle is not over, you skunk!!” I couldn't see it's face, but I'm quite sure it got a little paler.

So there it was. That damn Dick-kid. It was just standing there, leaning against the lightpost at the end of the hill. It hadn't noticed me yet. That's when I saw my golden moment. I sped up, my aim was perfect. I had been practising for years. My feet were going faster and faster, round and round like the sun around the earth. I was going really fast now, so fast that if I had accidently bumped into a tiny insect, stone or baby I had most definetly flewn of my bike and to the moon. I had come to the point where my feet were aching of the speed and I felt I would vomit if I stopped. I was only a few yards away now, and the damn Dick-kid hadn't noticed me yet. It was good. I was getting closer… I felt the great amount of flies splashing in my mouth and all over my face… almost there… I closed my eyes… and CRASH. There was a shout and a yelp and a loud bang and the sound of birds twirling up in the air and then I vomited. When I opened my eyes I was lying on the ground with that stupid Dick-kid spread all over me. I shouted at it to get itself together and to get off me. When it had done so, it sat down opposite me and looked at me with those damn beautiful, purple eyes.
“What the fuck, man?” said the Dick-kid.
“Whaat?” I said, surprised of the irritated tone in it's voice.
“You just bumped right into me with your graceful, yet threatening wheeled horse, you ass”, it said.
“You know you deserved it, Dick-kid”, I said. Boy, was he stupid.
“No, I didn't. Why did I deserve it?”
“How about wearing only those ugly shorts everyday, or always keeping that stupid bird in your ears, huh, Dick-kid?”
“Don't you bring Cookie into this”, it whispered, automatically petting the bird Cookie gently on it's forehead, where it sat and purred satisfactionally inside the Dick-kids gigantic, freckled ears. Though I pretended not to, I actually liked the bird. It gave me a sense of enormous well being. But I seldom showed my true feelings, so I kept on pretending to be hip and cool.
“Oh, shut up, Dick-kid. Just keep your ass out of my way in the future, got it?” Damn, I was tough. There was a short paus.
“I have a name.”, the kid whispered so I could hardly hear.
“What?” I said, slightly shocked.
“I have a name, you know.”
“No you don't.”
“Yes I do.” Suddenly, his face lit up in an extremely creepy, pleased expression, one I had never seen before. “And you will never know it. Common, Cookie. Let's spread some sugar.” In a flash, the little bird flew up in the air, grew six times bigger, grabbed the Dick-kid by it's massive ears and before I could say ‘Speak friend, and enter’, they were gone. Just like that. I stood by, glared up to the sky and started to sensing that old, so familiar feeling. The feeling I always got when Dick-kid escaped my otherwise perfect plans. I felt the deamon rise within me and before I knew it, I burst into flames gave a terrible howl. I was going to get him. One day.