Biðst afsökunnar fyrir hönd allra föðurlandsvina að þessi saga er ekki á íslensku.

Hi. My name is Peter Lillenburg. I am boring. Know why I´m writing this essay about myself? Because I´m bored. When you´re boring, you get bored a lot. I got tierd of trying to understand those computer games. My friend gave one to me for me birthday, because I didn´t really know what to wish for. It´s pointless, or maybe I´m just too different to understand it. But at least I think it´s pointless. You don´t think about anything exept what´s happening right at that moment. You play some dude who has a gun and his mission is to shoot all the people who are around him. Doesn´t he ever feel anything for it? Theese people have families. Now their kids will cry at nights because mommy or daddy won´t ever come home. Ever.
Does the soilder think about that when he blasts their brains out? No he doesn´t. He just feels the adrenaline pumping through his vains. Maybe he feels bad some time after. Maybe he lies down and cries. Cries because he killed so many people. Cries because he did it only for one reason. Nothing. But the computer game doesn´t show that. He only shows what people want to see. A death full of joy. I´m going to stop talking about that computer game now because it´s so pointless and doesn´t even deserve to be talked about.
There´s not much to say about me. That´s why I´m so boring. I got brown hair, green eyes and an athelic body. I´m good at sports. Mostly rugby. That´s why I´ve got so many friends. They first think that I´m a interesting guy because I´m so good at sports. But they´re wrong and after they start hanging around me they find it out, very soon. I think they feel sorry for me, for being so boring. That´s why the still hang around me. They often ask me if I´ve blocked them on msn because I´m never online. But I haven´t. I´m not that often on msn. Because when I´m on it a lot of people say hi to me. I say hi to them too. They often try to talk to me, I just answer. I never talk about anything. I don´t have anything to talk about . Because I´m boring.
I like listening to music. When I´m not hanging around people or studying I like to just lay down in my bed and listen to music. I like music that´s kind of calming, at first. But you can just feel it´s screaming inside. Then the screams finally break out and the song really starts to scream, literally. But I don´t talk about music. If I´d talk about music then I couldn´t listen to it anymore because when I´d do that my mind would be filled with converstations with people about music.
I like math, biology, physics, chemistry and biografy. It´s just facts. It´s not complicated like people. If you know every fact about those subjects, nothing can surprise you. But when it comes to people you never know. That scares me. They could suddenly take up a gun and blow your brains out. Who knows.
I do good in school. Never get in any trouble. People don´t tease me often. People don´t tease guys who play in the rugby team. Because guys who play in the rugby team can kick the crap out of anyone in the school who´d tease them. But I wouldn´t. Kicking someones ass won´t make things better. It´s just like that soilder, blowing the brains out of the other soilder with his gun. Sure you´ll feel better for a minute or two. But then you feel guilth. But life isn´t a computer game so it doesn´t only show the moments when the adrenaline is running through your mind and confusing your sences. I´m also good in school because I free my mind from everything else. I´m not worrying about people when I´m in school. I´m not worrying about what people think about me or who is saying what about me. Because I already know it. They think that I´m boring and they´re right. No one wants to talk about it because everybody knows that. That´s why I can focus on the facts unlike other teenagers who mostly spent the entire school time thinking about what everybody else think about them.
I think I alread know what my future is going to be. I´m going to college and I´m going to be a doctor. There are just facts. Nothing that requers social talents or imagination. I´m going to be married for sure. To a woman who wants a man with a steady job, doesn´t complain much and is a good father. Yeah that would be me, without any bragging. I don´t brag. I just tell facts.
I would make a fine father. But not a father who is a good buddy too. Just father. I´m definately going to die before my wife. Know why? Because we will both probably be happy and men usually die before women. That´s a fact.
And I know for sure what´s going to be written on my tombstone.
“Here rests the loving father and husband Peter Lillenburt. Boring as usual.”