Blehh, ég algerlega hata gaurinn í þessari sögu…



Remember that time when I said I'd never leave you? That I'd always be around?

I lied.

And that time when I told you you were the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen?

Yeah, right. And I also believe in St. Clause.

Then there was that time when I told you that I loved you. You got all giddy and said it back…

Hello! I don't love you! God, how stupid can the human mind get!?

And how could you not figure out the fact that it was on purpose, that I always claimed to be sick, or have to work, or something…anything to get from having to meet your parents? Come on! Coldogitus doesn't even exist!

And how many problems can a person have? You whine, and whine, and whine and whimper, and then you whine some bloody more! I don't care about your bad day! I don't care that your grandma died! I don't care that you got fired! I don't care! Get it into you're big, fucking head!

And…I mean…It can't possible have been a surprise, when you walked in on me with…whatsherface….Sarah? ‘'Ohh my God! You’re cheating on me with my best friend! I'm so hurt! Boo-fucking-hoo!"

I don't care! Go cut yourself or something! There's a pretty nice corner over there, to cry in. Make sure not to stain the carpet. It's Egyptian.

But no, instead of being a good little girl and get out of my face, you decided to ‘forgive me’. All in the name of fucking love. How many times do I have to tell you? I don't love you!

And then, two months later, you walked in on me again. With Catherine. She was you're friend too, right?

How fucking cliché.

But I decided, seeing as I didn't have enough money to find myself a new home, to act all sorry and shit, until you decided to forgive me. Ohh, joy! I get to live with you for god knows how long!

The streets have never looked so good…

But I bore with it, until I had enough money to move. How pathetic can a person get? You were crying, and whining, and sobbing and whimpering. Yeah. That'll get me to move back in. Who doesn't want to live with the crying, bloodshot-eyed, whining bitch that attached herself to my foot?

You called me like crazy after that. I even had to change my number! Psycho bitch, much?

Anyway, I've never been as happy as I was after leaving you. I mean…I was the perfect bachelor! New women every night! Not always the same, old hag. Absolutely fucking perfect.

Yeah…yeah I walked out on the best thing I've ever had.