Ég veit að þetta er mjög langt en þetta tók mig soldinn tíma að skrifa og ég vil vita hvað fólki finnst um þetta svo ef einhver nennir þá plís lesiði þetta og segið mér hvað ykkur finnst! Þetta er bara helmingurinn af sögunni og ef þið viljið sjá restina vil ég endilega senda það inná seinna. Og afsakið stafsetningavillurnar!


Chapter 1.

It doesn’t seem like all this happened to me. I mean, a few months ago everything seemed just normal. Well, maybe not normal, but I had been living my life the same way since I was born, maybe that’s why I thought it was so normal. It all started that night.
I was fed up with the way everything that was happening at home. After dinner my dad came home. He had been gone since the night before, and my mom hadn’t stopped crying since I came home from school, I couldn’t even look at her, cause she almost made my cry.
I could hear him walking in front of the house. I remember I was scared. I put the dinner on the table and, tried to clean up the obvious mess in the kitchen and living room, I was so afraid when I saw the doorknob started moving and the door opened so slowly. He came in through the door, he smelled of alcohol and perfume, I knew he had been with another woman.
He slammed the door so hard; the baby woke up and started crying. My mom ran out from the bedroom, and straight to my dad. He pushed her away, and yelled, “shut up that fucking baby!!”
My mom, almost started crying, but swallowed the feeling, and told me to take the baby out for a walk. I went in to the bedroom, picked the baby up and dressed her. I walked to the back door, I didn’t want to walk past them, they had started yelling at each other. I just held the baby in my hands and ran out. I walked past the window to my brother’s room and looked inside. He was still sleeping, like a rock. I walked away from the house, still hearing them fighting in there, soon he would lose control, I knew it, I felt it, the baby had stopped crying and had started to fall asleep again. I stopped for a moment but then I walked back to the house, the yelling never stopped.
I went trough the back door and put the baby in her bed again. I looked out from the bedroom, I heard them, but I couldn’t see them, I went through the living room, to the kitchen. There they where, yelling at each other, I crawled under a table and watched, ready to run if I was caught, My dad held my mothers hands around the wrist, she was crying. He never stopped yelling at her, it was terrible, I had never seen my mother like that, it was like she was trying to beg him to stop but couldn’t get the words out through all the crying. I looked around, saw a knife, I just wanted to take it and attack my dad, but I just stared at it, I looked up again, there was my dad, staring at me, just inches away. He took my hand and pulled me out from under the table and hit me, so hard, so cold.
I fell to the ground. There was silence, my dad went down on his knees and held me. He started crying “I’m so sorry, oh my god, what have I done?” he said. I didn’t even want to look at him; I just stood up and walked to my room. I locked the door and took a bag out of my closet and started packing. I took money, clothes, anything I could use. I don’t know what I was thinking; I just had to get out of there. So after I packed, I put my jacked on and went out through my window. It was dark, I had a flashlight, but I didn’t want to waste the batteries. I walked over to my brother’s window. He was still asleep. I knocked and saw that he opened his eyes, he looked at me, smiled and waved, and I waved back, smiled and walked away. He probably didn’t even know I wasn’t coming back, at least not for a while. I couldn’t stay there another minute, not in that house, not any more, my dad had crossed the line a long time ago but he didn’t realize it. I kept on walking down the street and to the bus stop, I waited for about ten minutes and then bus came and I went inside. There where just a few people in the bus, one old man, a couple of hookers and the bus driver. The whores were laughing about something, counting they’re money. I sat down near the door, so I could just step up and leave when I wanted to. I went off the bus, and started walking towards the subway station, I saw a small café and went inside, I was so hungry and I hadn’t even eaten dinner. I went to a small table and sat down, a bimbo waitress came towards me and handed me a menu “I’ll be back in a sec’ so you can order, okay?” she said, I just smiled, took the menu and started looking, in a few minutes the waitress came back, “I’ll just have a small slice of apple pie and a glass of water” I said, the waitress took the menu, smiled and walked away. I looked around, this was a pretty cozy but kind of cheap place, paintings on the walls, pictures of people, smiling, having fun, the kind of fun I hadn’t had since a long time ago. In the middle of my thoughts the waitress came out of the kitchen with a plate and a cup. She put it on the table and I saw that there was coffee in the cup, “but…” I started but she just smiled and said, “It’s a cold night, and it’s on the house”. I smiled “thank you” I said, who ever knew people could be so nice, to a girl that looked like a dirty blanket. I ate my apple pie, it was so good and warm, and the coffee was delicious. After I finished eating, I went to the counter and played for the pie, smiled to the waitress and went out. I looked back and saw that she was still smiling, drying the tables. I walked down to the subway station and went to buy a ticket. “Where’ ya’ headin’?” the guy asked, “Surprise me…” I said. I didn’t care where I was going. “I can’t sell you the ticket, if you’re running away from home, okay? Just go home” he said and looked at me like I was lost, or something. I just walked away and out of the subway, I would just need to hitch a ride. I started walking down the street, it was cold, and I was just wearing a skirt, T-shirt and a denim jacket. It was late, dark and not a lot of cars there. Every time I heard a noise, I got more afraid, my dad probably didn’t even know I was gone, I had locked my door before I went out so they probably thought I was just upset or something. I finally saw a car coming my way and tried to get a better look at it but I couldn’t see it in the dark. It stopped, and a cute, but slightly geeky guy looked out. “Do you need a ride?” he asked, I took a better look at him and smiled “yeah, not far though, just anywhere” I said and walked towards the other side of the car and got in to the car on the passenger side. We talked, his name was Ray. He was realy nice, and we talked for hours, until I realized it was getting bright. I looked at my watch; it was five o’clock in the morning. I couldn’t believe I had been away for so long. We finally stopped in a small town and Ray said he was going to stay at a hotel and that there was an airport near here if I wanted to go anywhere, but I went with him to the hotel and decided to stay the night, at least. So we went to the hotel, and he got a room for one, and asked for extra sheets and a mattress, so I could sleep on the floor. We went up to the room, and it was great, Ray was realy rich and had just finished college and was getting a job at a law firm in this small town. Ray said he was going out and that I could order something from room service, set up the mattress and he would be back a little later. When he left, I took advantage of the room service and ordered more than I could eat, I just kind of liked being able to order so much, it made me feel kind of rich. After I had stuffed myself full of every thing I could get, I started going trough Rays things, and I found a lot of money. After I had taken a lot of money I went downstairs to the front desk and called a taxi. I went outside, and waited for a few minutes before it came, I went in to the taxi and told the driver I wanted to go to the airport.
In about twenty minutes the car stopped in front of the airport. I payed the driver and went inside. I went to the front desk and bought a ticket to L.A. with Ray’s money of course, I always wanted to go to Los Angeles and the ticket cost a fortune. I went in to a room full of chairs, where I could wait, and there was free coffee there so I had a few cups while waiting. Finally I heard “flight 183 to Los Angeles is now boarding” and I stood up and a few minutes later I was for the first time, in an airplane. Very few people where in the plane, people didn’t go to L.A much that time of the year the stewardess said, when I asked her about it. It was so great being in the plane, I looked out the window a lot, but in a couple of hours I got tired of it and went to sleep. The stewardess woke me up some time later and told me that the food was coming now and put a trey on the little table in front of me. The food tasted great and there was also a little piece of cake, chocolate, with a lot of fudge, and for a moment I forgot about my awful life and pretended I was rich. After the stewardess took the trey I went to sleep again, but woke up to a voice “miss, wake up, you need to fasten your seatbelt, we land in about fifteen minutes”, it was the stewardess. I smiled to her and put on my seatbelt. I sat and waited, and in fifteen minutes I was in Los Angeles. I went out of the plane and kind of ran through the airport and out through the door. Outside, a lot of taxies where parked and I walked towards one of them, and asked to go to the nearest cheap hotel, the taxi driver nodded and said he knew exactly what I meant. I laughed quietly, “So, what brings you to L.A?” he asked, I just shook my head and said, “I don’t know yet”. He nodded “hmm…tough, I’m Tony, I’m not realy a cab driver, I’m doing this for my cousin, he’s at home sick so he couldn’t work today” he said, he had an Italian accent, and looked kind of Italian-American to me, he was probably a little bit old, his bald head kind of showed it. “So, don’t you have a job?” I asked, he nodded, “I own a small pizza place, same street as that cheap hotel I’m taking you to”, he replied and smiled. We talked for a long time until he dropped me off at that hotel. After I got out of the cab, he rolled down the window and said “hey! If you need a job or anything, my pizza place is just a few minutes away, ok?”. I smiled, nodded and waved as he drove away. I went inside the hotel, it was kind of a dump compared to the hotel I had gone to with Ray. At the front desk, I asked for one of the cheapest rooms. And, believe me, I got the cheapest room in the world! It cost ten dollars a night, that’s two hundred and eighty a month. And the room was kind of cozy. Only two rooms, a bedroom and a bathroom. The bedroom had one bed, a small table and a closet, the bathroom had a shower, toilet, a sink and one medicine cabinet-mirror. The first thing I did was to lock the door, then I started unpacking, clothes in the closet, some things on a little table beside my bed and the money, I put in a small metal box and taped it behind the sink. When every thing was ready, I was realy tired and I went to sleep. My first day away from home, had been pretty rough.































Chapter 2.

I woke up at ten thirty. It was Saturday.
I stood up and made my bed and put some clean clothes on, I needed some towels. So I went out and in to this cute little store, with bathroom things. I didn’t care what the towels would look like; my goal now was to spend as little money as I possibly could. So I bought three large towels and two hand towels. They where blue-green, with yellow stripes on them, really tacky, but I didn’t want to spend money on nice things until I got a job. That’s when I remembered Tony, and after I bought the towels I looked for Tony’s pizza place, and after about ten minutes of searching, I found it. I went inside and heard Tony’s voice in the kitchen, he was yelling something in Italian, but soon he came out of the kitchen, realy angry. I laughed, “did I come at a bad time?” he looked up and smiled “oh, it’s you, did you like the hotel?” he asked, I nodded, smiling. “I never got your name,” he added. I walked towards the counter “Cassie” I said, “my name is Cassie”. He smiled, “welcome, to my pizza place, did you come for the job?” he said, “yeah, I’m a little low on cash, I even needed to buy ugly towels” I said and showed him the bag. “Well, Cassie let me show you your new coworkers” Tony said, “Stupid, Useless! Get your Asses out here!” he yelled. Out of the kitchen there came two guys. One black, probably around seventeen and one guy probably around my age.
“I’m Samuel, but everyone calls me Sam” the black guy said, “and I’m Zack,” said the other one.
“Why don’t you start tomorrow? You don’t want to start on the busiest night of the week” Tony said smiling “okay” I said, waved and went out, Tony waved back.
I didn’t have any plans for the day so I got a cab and asked the driver to take me to the nearest library. When I got there I asked for an application for a library card and after I filled it out, the old lady at the desk and in to a back room to get the card made, and in about five minutes it was ready and I started to look for a good book to read, and I found a book, about making it on your own, it was for young people starting to live on they’re own, of course, I was more than young, I was a teenager, but I needed something to help me trough the beginning so I borrowed that book and went back to the hotel. The girl at the front desk, was smoking, she was kind of good looking, long black hair, long legs from under her mini-skirt, probably around nineteen. “Want one?” she asked and held out the cigarette pack, “sure” I said and walked towards her, I took a cigarette out of the pack and she lit it for me, “so, who are you?” she asked carelessly, “I’m Cassie” I replied “. And you?” I added. “Melanie, but everyone just calls me Mel, it’s shorter,” she said. “Thanks for the smoke, see you later” I said and went up to my room, still smoking the cigarette. I locked the door and sat down on the floor and finished the cigarette, and then I put the towels in the closet and threw the book on my bed. I was sweaty “oh, shit, I’ve got to take a shower” I said to my self and grabbed one of the large towels from the closet and went in to the bathroom, I threw the towel on the floor beside the shower, “oh, fuck! No shampoo”. I went out of the bathroom, grabbed my keys and went out of the room, I ran downstairs and out of the hotel, across the street there was a drug store I went in to, I picked the cheapest shampoo and conditioner and bought it, then I ran across the street again, in to the hotel, up the stairs and in to my room. Finally I could take a shower! I practically ripped of my clothes and went in to the shower, I had never been so relived to just be in the shower, I had been on the road for so long and I was sweaty and disgusting. After I got out of the shower I quickly dried myself, put on some panties and a T-shirt, laid down on my bed and took a peek in to that book from the library. That book was just a big load of crap, so I stopped reading it, I figured I would need a bike to get around, so I decided to go look at bikes when I would go out for dinner. So around six thirty I went out, and in to this café, I got a sandwich and a cup of coffee. I ate slowly, cause I wanted to enjoy my only meal of the day. After I finished eating, I noticed that everything was so busy, that I could walk out of there with out paying and no one would notice, so I did, and afterwards I felt good, cause that place wasn’t cheap and that was a realy large sandwich I had eaten. So, then I went on the lookout for some bikes. I came to this garage sale that was closing up and I noticed a red mongoose mountain bike and I went to a lady that was cleaning up, “hey, how much is that bike over there?” I said and pointed at the bike, “oh, that’s thirty fie dollars” she said and smiled. I thought about it for a while but then I decided to buy it, it would make all my traveling around town a whole lot cheaper. “I’ll take it!” I said, gave her the money and went back to the hotel on my new bike. When I came to the hotel, I asked Mel if there was some sort of storage room I could keep the bike in, but she said there wasn’t, so I just paid for the nights I had stayed there and went up to my room, in the elevator, and took the bike with me in to my room and put it behind the door, beside the closet. I locket my door and threw the keys on the table. I was realy tired and put on my “sleeping clothes” and went to bed, after a few minutes, I fell asleep.

When I woke up, I was happy.
I looked at my watch, it was nine a.m. I got up and made my bed. I went in to the bathroom and washed my face, opened the medicine cabinet, got out mascara and a lip balm and put it on my face, I put some clothes on, took my keys and my bike, and went out, I was going to work.
I rode my bike to the pizza place and went inside, “Hey! Tony!” I yelled when I got inside, he came out and waited for me to continue, “Is there some place I can keep my bike?” I asked, “Yeah, you can bring it in the back door, keep it in the storage room” he said and went back in to the kitchen.
I took my bike and went in the back door, put it in the storage room and went in to the kitchen. The guys had some music on and where dancing, while they got the kitchen ready for the day. I laughed quietly and waited for them to notice me, and when they did they stopped dancing, turned the music down and stood still, “Hi!” I said, trying to swallow the laughter. Sam went out of the kitchen and started to dry some tables, but Zack just stood there, like he didn’t know what to do. He finally moved when Sam came in to the kitchen and said that we had customers. He turned on the oven and took a big bowl of pizza dough, took a big handful of it and threw it on the table in front of me, Zack got a big bag of flour and put in on the table, “use a lot of this” he said and sprinkled some on the table. And before I knew it, I was making pizzas realy quickly and time just flew by. I didn’t get of work until six thirty p.m. And I was so tired I almost couldn’t move my hands, but I got to make myself a free pizza to take with me to the hotel. So after I made my pizza, I got my bike, my money and I went to the hotel. I was so happy and proud of myself for taking care of myself, I got five dollars an hour, so that day I made forty five dollars. When I got back to the hotel, I sat on the floor and ate my pizza, it was so good to get a free meal, even if it was my only meal of the day. That’s when I started missing my mom, she used to make pizza every other Saturday, no one made pizza like mom, my little brother, Max would try to put as much pizza in his mouth as he could but he couldn’t chew with his mouth so full so he’d spit it all out, and everyone would lose they’re appetite. I went downstairs to make a phone call, there was just one payphone in the entire hotel and someone was using the phone before me, so I needed to wait for ten minutes before I could use the phone, when it was my turn I called Tony and got to go to work a little later that I was supposed to, cause there was something I needed to do. So then I went up to my room and started cleaning it, threw out the pizza box and dried the table and the floor and in twenty minutes the room was spick and span. When I was done cleaning the room I wasn’t tired at all so I went out, I got Mel to come with me, so we could get in to some good places. I put on a mini skirt, a top, denim jacket and some high heels. We went in her car to some of her friends, three guys and a girl, there was Frankie, a realy cute Spanish guy, Paul, a fairly cute realy nice guy, Oho, a cute Chinese guy who didn’t understand a word of English and the girl was Hannah, a real tramp, who had sex with everything that moved, even female. We went to a party at Frankie’s friends house, this was like Barbie and Ken town, it was horrible, I felt like a troll there with all those bimbos. That is, until I noticed that Frankie was paying a lot of attention to me, he was always looking at me, so I just wanted to rip of his clothes and eat marshmellows of his chest, but of course, I didn’t. But when I was getting myself another beer, he came and started touching my hand, I put down the beer and turned to him, he looked straight in to my eyes, I couldn’t move, he took me to a couch and we started making out. He tried to push me down on my back but I pushed him away, he pushed up my skirt and tried to pull down my panties, “no, stop, stop it!” I said and pushed his hand away so he let go, I stood up and started to walk away but he grabbed my hand around the wrist and pulled me to the couch and held me down, “you’re a tough one, huh?” he said and smiled, “yeah, right!” I said and pushed him of me, he pulled me towards him again, and hit me so I fell down on to the floor, I tried to get up but he kicked me so I got slammed against the wall and cut my cheek so it started to bleed. He took some pills out of his pocket, and came towards me, tried to open my mouth, but I kept it closed, I knew that they where sleeping pills or drugs or something. “Open your fucking mouth!” he yelled and hit me, then he got pulled of, someone started beating him until he stopped moving. It was Paul, “are you okay?” he asked, I nodded. I couldn’t stop myself from crying, Paul went over to me, went down on his knees and held me “hey, it’s okay now, it’s okay to be afraid, but it’s all over” he said. I tore myself from him and ran out of the room, I found Mel, on the dance floor, told her I needed a ride home, but she told me to take a cab. I went out of the house and got a cab, my cheek was still bleeding, and I couldn’t wait to get to the hotel. So when I got there, I ran straight to my room and locked the door behind me and went straight in to the bathroom, and took a shower. I was so scared that after I came out of the shower I didn’t even dry myself or put clothes on, I just went straight to bed and cried myself to sleep.




























Chapter 3.


I woke up at seven fifteen and everything regarding the other night was a little blurry. The air in the room was heavy, so I opened the window, and I saw the sun come up. A new day, with new things to do, that’s when I remembered, I needed some things. So, I put some clothes on, washed my face, brushed my hair and went out, on my bike, of course. I saw a little gardener’s shop, and got my self a bucket and a plastic chair. It was realy difficult to get it back to the hotel in one piece on the bike, but I did it anyway, and afterwards I was so sweaty, I had to take a shower. After that, I put water in the bucket and put my dirty clothes in it, and I put the chair beside the closet and dried it of, it was covered in dirt from the difficult trip back to the hotel.
It was eleven thirty now, and I needed to get to work. So I went to the pizza place in such speed, I almost got run over buy this realy old guy driving a Ferrari! So when I got there I was such a wreck, Tony even asked if I had gotten any sleep last night, and that’s when I remembered, last night. Frankie, Paul, the pills. I felt so bad; I didn’t even talk to anyone all day. I left work at nine fifteen p.m. and I felt like I had just come out of a microwave. And I needed to get home, so I could eat my pizza, but on the way I stopped at a café and stole two cups, two plates and a glass, that’s what I realy needed, so I wouldn’t need to eat food right out of the box. So when I got back to the hotel, I could finally eat like a normal person. But I couldn’t do anything, it was like, I wasn’t tired, or didn’t have an appetite, I needed to talk to Mel, see if she made it threw the night. But she wasn’t at the front desk, when I asked the hotel manager where she was, he said she was at a funeral but he didn’t know who died, my first thought was that someone in her family, grandmother or something, had died. So I waited for her to come back, and it was around midnight that she finally did. She was crying, so I went over to her and asked her “so, who died?” she looked at me, her mascara was running, “It’s Frankie, he was beaten to dead, at the party” she said, and started crying again, “oh, my god, Frankie?” I said, Mel nodded, never stopped crying. I ran up to my room, I needed to talk to somebody, somebody I could trust. So I got an old postcard, that I got from my friend, when she moved to L.A. two years ago, I didn’t know if she still lived there, but I was going there anyway. So, I needed to get the day off, but I decided to call Tony in the morning, so I just went to sleep.

The next morning I woke up at twelve thirty, and I ran straight downstairs and called Tony, he said that I could get the day of, or just come to work when I could. So I went upstairs and hung the wet clothes up to dry. I got dressed, slammed some mascara and some lip balm on my face, and brushed my hair. Then I got my bike and went out, took the postcard with me, so I could remember the address. When I finally found the place, I couldn’t believe my own eyes, the place was huge! It was a big white house with two floors, a big garden and a big white wall around, and a big beautiful gate. I put my bike against the wall, and rang the bell beside the gate. “Hello, who’s there?” a girls voice said, I went up to the speaker, “eh, It’s Cassie, is Ashley there?” I said, still not sure if she even lived there. “Well, fuck this! Cassie?” she said loudly, “come the fuck in!” she added, and the gate opened. I walked in, took the bike with me, and put it against the wall on the other side. I walked through the garden, it looked like heaven, when I came up to the front door, I couldn’t even knock, the door opened as soon as I came up to it. And there she was, Ashley Resher, my best friend since I was five, until she moved two years ago to L.A. in to this heavenly house, after her dad won the lottery, the biggest lottery win in American history!
“Oh, my god! There you are! Oh Cassie, what are you doing here, you don’t have the money to be here!” she said and pushed me in to the house, ripped my jacket of and threw it to one of the servants standing there. “It’s my dad” I began quietly “I’m fucking fet up with all of his shit, he’s drinking like never before, oh, anyway that’s not why I came to you, I realy need your help okay?” I added. She asked me to come in to her room and we could talk there, so we went up to the second floor and in to this realy large room and sat down on a couch. “Ehm, last night, I was at this party, and, this guy, I realy liked him, and we started making out, and he tried to rape me, and we struggled, and he tried to drug me, and the this other guy came, and started beating him up, and I left, and now the guy’s dead” I said and was started to cry, I couldn’t even handle the memory of it. She looked at me, felt sorry for me, “oh, my god, Cassie, you can’t tell anyone, I mean, you didn’t kill him, self defense isn’t murder” she said an handed me a tissue. I dried my tears, “can I stay here for a while?” I said, trying to stop crying, Ashley nodded “Of course you can, honey. You’re my best friend, and I haven’t seen you for such a long time, you’re more than welcome” she said, took my hand, and helped me up from the couch. We both agreed that I would go back to the hotel, pack my things, and come back to her place, later.
So I went to the hotel and packed my things, called Tony, and said I was going to stay with a friend for a while, and would call him when I came back. Then I finally tied all my things to my back, chair, bucket, bag and went downstairs and paid for the stay,
Then I rode back to Ashley’s. When I came to the house, I saw that Ashley’s dad was on the phone, and then Ashley came downstairs, and asked me to come to her room. She showed me, where I was going to sleep; I got my very own room, with a large bed, a closet, and my very own bathroom, with a huge bathtub. I put my things in to the room and Ashley and me painted the chair, so it would look better, cause it was just a white plastic chair. For dinner we had, salad, realy empty, cause Ashley was a vegetarian, and after dinner we stuffed our selves full of ice-cream, and every thing was great, until we had a very disturbing phone call.
Around midnight, we were watching TV and the phone started ringing. Ashley went to answer it, a few seconds after she picked up the phone, she began fighting with the person on the phone, always saying “no! She’s not here!” like someone was looking for someone. So, when she got of the phone I asked her, “Who was that?” She looked at me, that look was serious, something had happened. “That was your dad,” she said. I fainted, I don’t know how long I was out, but I woke up in a bed, in a white room, my arm was in plaster. I looked around, I was at a hospital, “why am I here?” was the only thing going through my mind. Then I saw Ashley coming through the door, “what happened?” I asked her, she came to me and sat on my bed, “you fainted, and you broke your arm when you fell” she said and handed me a glass of water, I drank it fast, I felt like I had been in the desert with nothing to drink for days. I put the empty glass on the table, “my dad?” I said and waited for an answer, “I told him, I didn’t know where you are” she said and smiled, “now, get some rest and we’ll talk later, okay?” she added and stood up, I nodded, smiling and went to sleep.