Teardrops fall down my cheek as I try to visualize myself.
I am noone, my purpose is none.
Still I try to give my life some reason to live it.
My whole live I believed something magnificent would happen to me, I believed that I would easily conquer the great game of life that we play, that in the end I would have all the 4. aces in my hand, money, power, love and glory.
Still when you think about it, we play to loose, in the end we ar all equal, buried deep in the earth in some cemetery while some stupid insects eat our corpses.
I believed that I would turn out to be a rock star, a business tycoon or a movie star.
I turned out to be none of the above.
My life in its best expression is failure.

I owe you a proper introduction of who I am.
My name is Hawk, Hawk simmons, when I was just 10. years old my father told me the most sensible sentence ever told “Hawk, imagine if you were a dinosour”.
Then he blew out his brain with a Winchester double barrelled shotgun, it is called L.S.D.
Why did he do this? A well known doctor just, pfuff in one bang.
His blood was all arround the place and the floor was covered with smashed brains.
Hawk imagine if you were a dinosour, makes no sense I think.
As a matter of fact dinosours ruled the earth, maybbe.
No makes absolutely no sense at all.
Still I never could quit thinking of these words, his last words.

Lets get back to the present time, november 5th 2096.
I live in New Belfast U.S.O.E (united states of europe) former names Germany, The Netherlands, UK, Iceland and whatever all the old european countrys were called, after the Nuuk agreement in 2049 all european countrys were compined in one. U.S.O.E.
Life could seem a little lonely here up on the 275th floor of a concrete monster.
Yes I live alone with of course all the junkies on the lower floors and the white trash on the upper floors. I hate it but in these times you have no alternative choice.
My apartment is pretty small, unpainted concrete walls and of course a small window so you can look outside on the other monsters and of course all the zombies walking in a straight line while luxury vehicles drive past swamping water and dirt at them.
I don’t like the outside.
I have everything I need here in this 300. story building, outside you find nothing byt endless pain. Drugdealers, kidnappers, thiefs and murderers.
Yes I am a loner, a loner who likes living in his own shadow.
I´m no partyfreak and I hardly like people at all anymore.
Does that make me bad?
And if it does why?

I have seen people get shot on the streets,
I have seen friends who jumped out their window and thought that they could fly.
Yes I´ve seen it all.
In the past it were diseases, plagues, black death, and accidents.
Now the most popular causes of death are suicides, wars, explosions, drugs, and insanity.

In my opinion the world is insane but we refuse to believe it.
Few years ago all junkies in U.S.O.E started taking L.S.D as if it was their vitamine, of course they did it.
The system eradicated all drug growing in an operation called drugs free U.S.O.E 2050.
L.S.D was the only drug avilable.
No painkillers, no M.D.M.A, no morphine or opium, only L.S.D.
Population decreased from 1500million down to 100milion.
Smart move? Right?
The director of this operation committed suicide, how?
He jumped out of the window from the 289th floot, drugtests showed traces of L.S.D in his blood. Ironic?
But still proves my point of the insanity of the world.
The operation was cancelled a year later.

I turn on my 38” crystal flat screen C6technology Sony TV, why do we buy crystal flat screen C6 tv´s without even understanding what it really means?
We are all brainwashed, not only by the system but also by big
corporations, and I am no exception.
I see an advertisment being showed, the background music is the classical song “ A beautiful world “ by Louis Armstrong
“U.S.O.E is the best place in the world, just remember to pay your taxes”.
I fall asleep, dreaming of a better world