Þetta byrjaði sem eitthvað létt og skemmtilegt enskuverkefni. Ákvað að halda áfram með þetta eftir Prologue dæmið.
I am in a mind flow
Prologue: Life at a glance
The wind gave me away. My prey caught my scent. I could see how it wrinkled its nose, drawing the flesh upwards in the process so that some white teeth spotted with blood could be seen clearly. It perked its ears so that they were aligned with the fragile and soft outlines of its partially sinous skull. It sidestepped with a growl as it strained visibly to put the carcass of the deer, it had killed previously, out of its mind. After that it seemed undeterred to move even though the loud thunder of my feet could be heard and felt in the vibrations of the forest‘s swamp-like ground. My teeth struck flesh with a mind numbing force and the shriek of my prey pierced my ears. It fell limply to the ground where I had already begun feasting on it. Usually I‘m not so driven to describe, or remember things for that part, so vividly but the hunger and the guilt made each second stretch out into infinity and that is a great amount of time. Most might think that this beast I just pounced wouldn‘t have been that much of a victim but then again I‘m not your average predator.
I assume that I can‘t remember my old self and that now I‘m just an altered shadow of what I was. There are unanswered questions such as: „Who am I? Why am I here?“ and all of that assorted crap. The unspoken purpose of my existence irritates me. There are things that I can remember though. My first memory being that I awoke surrounded by trees. I remember vaguely staring up at the sky suppressing the bile I could feel lurking in my throat whilst lying flat on my back. I didn‘t hold it for long though. I flipped on my side and released the contents of my stomach until I was giving dry coughs of disgust and hurtful spasms. I noticed that my forearms were tied together and my feet were woven in rope too. However the bonds were weak and I tore through them with no effort at all. I stood up carefully, taking in my surroundings. It was a clearing with a seemingly little used gravel road running through it. There was a wooden sign pointing in the direction of the road where it sloped downwards. The cracked letters were mostly decayed and the only thing I could make out were the outlines of the biggest letter, K. I felt a sudden flash of anger and I lost my balance for a moment. A nearby crow flew off into the distance, as I gave a growl, seemingly blending in with the sun as the light surrounded the bird. I felt something around my neck. Assuming that it was more rope I tore it off. It was a leather strip with a small wooden block attached to it. The words „Wyam Durathreyr“ were carefully carved on its surface. I was certain that it was a name. Was it mine though? I wasn‘t so sure. When I look back I can only wonder how I understood the concept of letters. Not that I have a long time to look back to. I was seemingly born with rational thought if this, my first memory, was my birth at all. I am afraid that I was something else before that day. This was not a birth, it was merely a change. What I am now is not what I have always been. What I am now is merely a shadow of my former self along with limited knowledge and no memories. This was not a birth, it was merely a change… but from what and to what? Perhaps I have always been as I am now. I think that is more likely. You do not simply change, do you?
Chapter one: The one who held his gaze
I finished eating the canine-like animal I‘d just slew right then. I always feel better if I have it so that no meat is remaining on the bones. Where is the irony in that? I have sorrow killing the simplest of creatures yet I must do that in order to survive. My survival instincts outweigh my pity for living things. Then again I am sorry for myself because I have found nobody that appears or acts like me.
The closest thing to me I have found are the creatures, the ones who avert their eyes as I call them, that seem to speak the language of my thoughts. I have tried using my mouth for such purposes but to no avail. The only things that I manage are growls and incomprehensible choking sounds. Yesterday I approached the village, a place where they tend to gather, but I couldn‘t muster the courage to enter. I feel drawn towards them as if they were of my own kin yet I have this feeling about them. Hate? I simply do not know. I was born under the sun and she mocks me, even in the dead of winter.
I decided at long last to stay close by. I hear pretty well so I was able to eavesdrop on the ones who were close enough. I could tell that these „creatures“ had it all figured out unless they hid their confusion after a fashion. Not once did they ponder about their existence, something I have done since I can remember breathing, but they rather went on about their crops and dead animals showing up in and around the country side. Of course these dead animals weren‘t of my doing. I don‘t attack sheep as the eye averters call them. Even If I would do such things I couldn‘t do it now when they were „locked up in the pen“ as one mentioned to another. There is something about that word, sheep… I figured out why, once one of the creatures mentioned herding. Sheepherder. Was that what I was? Probably. It just felt familiar if not logical. The village was small and surrounded by smaller farm clusters so most likely I was once a sheepherder. An eye averter?. The feasible realisation confused me more than it did surprise me. I can‘t make up my mind. Some things present the fact that I behave a lot like they do yet at the same time I don‘t. Puzzling.
Tonight I‘ve been resting in this cave‘s opening until now when something has my attention away from sleep. The cave isn‘t deep but it grants you protection from snowstorms and wind. There is a big frozen puddle of water not far away from me with the faint reflection of dark stalagmites seemingly protruding from the ground and from the ceiling at the same time. A younger one of the eye averters is close by with a torch. He‘d just set up a tent further north and he probably is following the game trail that leads off to the west from him now. Despite the darkness I can see him pretty well against the brown hue of outlines that are the trees . I retreat just a little further into the cave to avoid detection. Suddenly I feel as if someone yanks my feet in every direction. I make a loud groaning noise as the air rushes from my lungs and something cold touches my underside. I am now flat on my stomach against the level surface of nature‘s mirror. I raise my head carefully and my front legs follow suit. I stare down at yellow eyes. I have seen my reflection far too many times in frozen water. I do not look like them. I look more like the companions they choose to call „dogs“. I wonder if there is a connection between me and them. Maybe I‘m a dog. That‘s it!!! I must be a dog, mustn‘t I? Dogs herd sheep and I‘m pretty sure that I was a sheepherder. But I am more mobile than the dogs they have. I must be a special breed. I understand the language of the ones who avert their eyes. I would make the perfect companion. I try to bark with joyful abandon but I‘m not sure how that just sounded. What am I thinking? Am I so desperate? Something startles me and I lunge myself frantically forward as I hear the whispering voice of the eye averter. The momentary and overpowering happiness that came over me dimmed though I still retain the idea that I have found out who I was and who I am.
-„I know you‘re here little fox… your days of scaring our chicken and sneaking into our barnyard is over. I heard you before, foxy friend. Wan‘t to come out and play with my bow?“. His words hold sarcasm. I sneak to hide behind a tall rock formation and into a narrow crevice. I am not hiding from him because I‘m scared of him. I know what the eye averters call foxes. So far I haven‘t heard any sounds from them so how would this young one know? Maybe he didn‘t. No, I‘m not hiding from him because he poses me any immidiate threat. I hide because I‘m scared to reveal myself to all the eye averters. What if they don‘t want me? What if they do not accept me? What if there are any fatal repercussions from coming out?
-„Is that your tail, little one?“. He laughs silently and I hold my breath. He is now only a whiff away. I manage to stifle a growl, not at him, but at my stupid tail. It has a mind of it‘s own. Like now, when I feel excited, angry or dreadful, it flails around like the hands of a drowning madman. He must have seen it because he‘s coming my way. The step of his feet is getting louder. I turn to stare at my tail and I see where it sticks out from my hiding place. If only I‘d grown up a tad shorter. I struggle silently to turn myself around so that I can at least face him.
-„You‘re mine little one. I have you now and I…,“ he says as he grabs my tail but freezes in mid sentence, a hint of amazement and fear appearing on his face.