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If the Cylons show up in our day and age…

* The U.N. will “protect” us by passing non-binding resolutions against the Cylons and their WMDs

* Castro and Chavez will call the west imperialist pigs for discriminating against the Cylon, and go to meet with them on a Base Star. Chavez will promise oil, and Castro will introduce them to a book by Marx.

* The middle east will blame the Jews, claiming they built the Cylons with the help of the neo-cons to further their Zionist cause. That's right…THE JOOOOS!!!

* America will completely ignore the threat until it is directly attacked. 95% of the population will then support going to war with the Cylons, and just about all of Congress will back the resolution. U.S. forces will overcome tremendous odds to quickly over take and occupy two entire Base Stars with minimal casualties. Centurions and hybrids will cheer as statues of human Cylons are toppled. However, no nukes will be found aboard the Base Star, leading to accusations of lies and cover ups. Support will fade after a couple years and a few thousand lost troops due to rebellious centurions. The Republicans will lead the “international war against machines” while the Democrats will chant “wrong war, wrong orbit, wrong time” and “Bush lied, Centurions died.” There will be scandals over the treatment of captured machines, and there will be court martials when it is discovered that some officers abused their tanks. In the end, we'll give up and go back to arguing over the economy and abortion.

* Kim Jong Il will contact the Cylons and inform them that if they try to attack his two bit piece of peninsula, he will turn their Base Stars into “seas of fire” using his big dong missiles and nukey boom-boom weapons. The Cylons, worried about a North Korean first strike, will send Raiders to investigate, only to wonder what the fuss is all about when a dong missile malfunction produces a larger explosion than a nuclear weapons test.

* France will surrender. Twice.

* Theories will abound about how the Cylon invasion is linked to oil.

* Gore will make a movie telling us how the REAL threat is not genocidal machines, but GLOBAL WARMING.

* A Cylon intrusion across the U.S. Mexico border will be stopped by minutemen and the new border fence.

* Unfortunately, so will the immigration of colonials, who just end up heading back into space hoping to find a saner planet.

* In the end, the Cylons will leave Earth, deciding it's not to their liking. Why? Besides the crazy neighbors, it's just too fracking hot. Due to…

GLOBAL WARMING!!!