Ég veit að fólk er ekkert sérstaklega hrifið af því þegar verið er að gera svona copy-paste, en þegar ég las grein um einhvern sem er svona sorgmæddur á Valentínusardaginn gat ég ekki annað en hugsað um fréttabréf sem ég er áskrifandi af og fæ alltaf öðru hverju, og í dag var einmitt verið að fjalla um hvað það væri sniðugt að vera á lausu og hözzla á Valentínusardaginn.
Well today is Valentine's Day! OK, today is actually the day after Valentine's Day but I write this the day before so throw me a bone here, OK? The General used to not be a fan of this holiday. In fact, I still think it's the biggest money making scam of all-time! A day to tell the one you love how you feel. What a bunch of crap! The greeting card companies, flower companies, and oh yes - the obvious favorite from a few of my female readers - the Chocolate companies, all make their living off this ridiculous holiday. However, I have taken a new approach in the past few years regarding Valentine's Day and used it to my advantage. Guys, break out the notepad and pen and get ready to take some notes.
Valentine's Day is all about the women. Women are the ones who eat up the stupid shit like flowers, candy, cards, dinners, etc. Do you think guys give a flying fuck about what their girl gets them for Valentine's Day? Hell no! All guys do is chalk this up to the monthly budget they have to spend on their woman in order to keep getting laid on a consistent basis. It just so happens that the months of December (Christmas), February (Valentine's Day), and whatever month your girl's birthday falls on are a little big higher on the annual expenditure reports. That's just the way it is. I used to get upset about that, but now I just deal with it. In fact, I use that to my advantage…but I will get to that in just a little bit.
Let’s get back to the moral of this story. While girls are quick to eat up all the crap that goes along with this holiday, they are also just as quick to be emotionally devastated when they don't have a man to spend this day with. That is especially true and amplified when they don't have a man, but all their friends do. Now, if a guy is single and doesn't have anyone to spend this day with, do you think we really care? Unless you are a guy who likes a little bit of dick in his ass during sex, the rest of us don't really give two shits either way. Now guys, here is where you will start the note taking process. Think about this for a second - what do most girls who do not have a guy to spend Valentine's Day with do on this holiday? They gather up for a “girls night out” of course! Let's translate what “girls night out” really means, shall we? What the phrase is really referring to is a bunch of girls who are feeling down on themselves, getting together to boost each other’s egos, and going out to get hammered. Now guys, when is the best time to strike on a girl? When she's feeling down and drunk, of course! Do you see where I am going with this, fellas? Valentine's Day night and the subsequent weekend is hands down, the best time to go out and pull some ass. Inevitably, you will see some women grouped together telling each other how great and pretty they all are. Just as inevitable, one will stray from the pack to go to the bathroom, get a drink, etc. It's at that moment where you need to get off your ass and make your move. It's easy, guys. Just go up to her, initiate conversation, and tell her how pretty she is and how you find it impossible to believe that she is not with someone on Valentine's Day. Then break out a few dollars, buy her a drink, start dancing with her, and at the end of the night, you will be making sweet love on the balcony of her friend's apartment! Now when the next day comes and you see what you've done, it's all on you at this point. Maybe you got a little too hammered and need to chew your arm off to get the hell out of there (perhaps she's thinking the same thing of you). Or, maybe you met a really cool girl at the right time and you can see what develops from there. The moral of this story is this: Valentine's Day is not a time to feel down if you are alone. Rather, it is a time to capitalize on all the benefits of a lot of single people being out and about. Couples usually aren't out at the bars on Valentine's Day. They are usually out to dinner, back at home, etc. It's the single folks who are out and about - and if you are single (like the General is), this is time to seize the moment! So guys (and girls), get out this weekend and make the General proud!
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