Great food, huge hamburger, I sat next to her, my hand on her crossed legs beneath the seat, while drinking an iced coctail. We kept looking into each other eyes, I kept trying to find something to say to make her smile..
We left the resturant that evening, together, 3 minutes ahead of the rest of the group.
I tried to kiss her (maybe the coctail but we were staring into each other's eyes… what could I do?).. , she saw me coming, she said no, we talked, said things like “I don't know why I like you so much.”
I said “I don't know why you like me so much”

She told me she thought I was so cute..
we walked around the city alone after we said goodbye to everyone, holding hands, wierdly enough the moment wasn't ruined with the “almost” kiss..

she was starting to explain something, she said the words “your not gonna like it..”
I said “ok, just hold on for a moment” then I did kiss her..
for about two seconds, our tounges touched, my insides exploded, and maybe three thoughts ran through my mind
1: holy shit holy shit im kissing her
2: Damn, I probably suck at this!
3: wow her tounge is soft…
she kissed me back for those 2 seconds, then she backed up, said no about twenty times..

she said it was wrong
becouse we had both left something like love behind and we shouldn't start something out of lonelyness
maybe she was right, but all I could think about at that moment was kissing her and make her mine, nothing else existed.. As you might imagine I didn't say a whole lot of wise and clever things..
We were at the subway, she held herself with her arms, as if to say with her body that noone could come in, she was closed up
I had my hands behind my back, I was standing there, open, myself, run by feelings and no thinking
I took her hands and opened her up
she hugged me
I smelled her hair
and tears started massing up in my heart
I said..
“.. now I feel your smell…
and every time i will feel that smell i will want to kiss you
and that will fuck up my mind”

I walked away, without looking back.

I can smell her still… or am I just imagining it?
It's fucking up my mind…