Það var nýr gaur að byrja í stóru fyrirtæki í bandaríkjunum. Stjórinn: Whats your name? nýji gaurinn: john. Stjórinn: No your last name…you know, smith, jones, baker. nýji gaurinn: My name is John Darling. stjórinn: Welcome aboard, John!
Ég veit ekki alveg um allt þetta með UFO´a ,ég meina það eru fullt af gervihnöttum þarna úti. Flugvélar koma líka til greina, en jeg held samt að það er líf einhverstaðar úti geimnum,,,,maður veit aldrei…
Clinton visits Saddam Hussein to talk about the weapon- inspections in Iraq. As he sits down he sees three buttons in the arm-rest of the chair of Saddam. When Saddam sits down, Clinton immediately asks: ‘why are there three buttons in your arm-rest?’ ‘You’ll see' replies Saddam. They start the talks, but after 10 minutes Saddam presses the 1st button, and ‘WHACK’ a boxing glove hits Clinton in the face, Clinton grabs his nose, while Saddam is laughing himself silly. Clinton remains calm...
Starr-I-Are. I'm here to ask, As you'll soon see… Did you grope Miss Lewinski? Did you grope her In your house? Did you grope Beneath her blouse? I did not do that Here or there… I did not to that Anywhere! I did not do that Near or far… I did not do that Starr-you-are Did you smile? Did you flirt? Did you peak Beneath her skirt? And did you tell The girl to lie When called upon To testify? I do not like you Starr-you-are… I think that you Have gone too far! I will not answer Any more…...
A flat-chested young lady goes to Dr. Smith for advice about breast enlargements. He tells her, “Every day when you get out of the shower, rub the top of your nipples and say, ‘Scooby dooby dooby. I want bigger boobies.”’ She did this every day faithfully and after several it worked! She grew great boobs! One morning running late and in her rush to leave for work, she realized she had forgotten her morning ritual.At this point she loved her boobs and didn't want to lose them, so she got up...
A typical married couple were lying in bed one night. The wife had curled up ready to go to sleep and the husband put his bedlamp on to read a book. As he was reading, he paused and reached over to his wife and started fondling her. He did this only for a very short while, then he would stop and resume reading his book. The wife gradually became aroused with this, and thought that her husband was seeking some response as encouragement before going any further. She got up and started...
Men are like…..Laxatives. They irritate the shit out of you. Men are like……Bananas. The older they get, the less firm they are. Men are like…..Vacations. They never seem to be long enough. Men are like…..Bank Machines. Once they withdraw they lose interest Men are like…..Weather. Nothing can be done to change either one of them. Men are like…..Blenders. You need one, but you're not quite sure why. Men are like…..Cement. After getting laid, they take a long time to get hard. Men are...
A pregnant woman and her husband asked the doctor if it was okay to have sex during her pregnancy. He told them that during the first trimester they could do it normal-style, during the second trimester they should do it dog-style and during the third trimester they were limited to wolf-style. “Wolf-style?” queried the husband. “What's that?” “You lie next to the hole and howl,” replied the doctor.
A beer is always wet. A pussy needs encouragement. Advantage: Beer. A beer tastes horrible served hot. A pussy tastes better served hot. Advantage: Pussy. Having an ice cold beer makes you satisfied. Having an ice cold pussy makes you Hillary Clinton. Advantage: Beer. Beers have commercials making fun of skunky ones. Pussy does not. Advantage: Draw. If you get a hair in your teeth consuming pussy, you are not disgusted. Advantage: Pussy 24 beers come in a box. A pussy is a box you can come...
It's your first time. As you lie back your muscles tighten. You put him off for awhile searching for an excuse, but he refuses to be swayed as he approaches you. He asks if you're afraid and you shake your head bravely. He has had more experience, but it's the first time his finger has found the right place. He probes deeply and you shiver; your body tenses; but he's gentle like he promised he'd be. He looks deeply within your eyes and tells you to trust him-he's done this many times before....
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