“On my wedding day I got so nervous that when I got to the alter I had an upset stomach. When it came time to say the vows and the reverend handed me the microphone…I puked all over his hands, the microphone, my tux, and my bride. To make matters worse…because I was vomiting so violently I also crapped my tux…and then passed out on the flower arrangement donated by the church.” HAHA.