Vel sloppið í verslunarmiðstöðinni. þessi saga á að gerast í Tuttle Crossing mall í Columbus Ohio. Sagan segir að kona kom að bílnum sínum með sprungið dekk. Þegar hún var að brasa við það að skipta um dekk kemur maður til hennar og hjálpar henni, þegar þau eru svo búin að skipta þá biður hann hana um að skutla sér í bílinn sinn sem var lagt hinumegin við verslunarmiðstöðina hún var treg til og þegar maðurinn hélt áfram að biðja þá afsakaði hún sig og sagðist eiga eftir að versla meira. hún...

You're Drinking Too Much Coffee When . . . Juan Valdez named his donkey after you. You ski uphill. You get a speeding ticket even when you're parked. You speed walk in your sleep. You have a bumper sticker that says: “Coffee drinkers are good in the sack.” You answer the door before people knock. You haven't blinked since the last lunar eclipse. You just completed another sweater and you don't know how to knit. You grind your coffee beans in your mouth. You sleep with your eyes open. You...

Translations for men These translations are for all of you wonderful women out there, so that you will know what we really mean when we say… “IT'S A GUY THING” Translated:* “There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical.” “CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?” Translated:* “Why isn't it already on the table?” “UH HUH,” “SURE, HONEY,” OR “YES, DEAR” Translated:* Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response. “IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN”...

WOMEN’S LANGUAGE TRANSLATED Yes = No No = Yes Maybe = No I’m sorry. = You’ll be sorry. We need… = I want It’s your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now. Do what you want… = You’ll pay for this later. We need to talk… = I need to complain Sure…go ahead = I don’t want you to. I’m not upset = Of course I’m upset, you moron! You’re so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot. You’re certainly attentive tonight =...

Cats are thinking about Ten Things A Cat Thinks About I could have sworn I heard the can opener. Is there something I'm not getting when humans make noise with their mouths? Why doesn't the government do something about dogs? I wonder if Morris really liked 9-Lives, or did he have ULTERIOR motives? Hmmm … If dogs serve humans, and humans serve cats, why can't we cats ever get these STUPID dogs to do anything for us? This looks like a good spot for a nap. Hey – no kidding, I'm sure that's the...

1. No matter what my problem is, it's the fault of someone other than myself, and the appropriate response is to find that person and kill him with my bare hands. 2. To be truly attractive, a woman must wear high heels and an outfit so tight you can tell whether she's cold or not from across the room. 3. There are two kinds of women in the world: The type that want to go to bed with you, and the type want to kill you. Both types are physically attractive and under 25 years old. 4. If I...

Things You'll Never Hear A Man Say: Here honey, you use the remote. You know, I'd like to see her again, but her breasts are just too big. Ooh, Antonio Banderas AND Brad Pitt? That's one movie I gotta see! While I'm up, can I get you anything? Honey since we don't have anything else planned, will you go to the wallpaper store with me? Why don't you go to the mall with me and help me pick out a pair of shoes? Aww, forget Monday night football, Let's watch Melrose Place. Hey let me hold your...