Ég hef tekið eftir því að Harry Potter lesendur viti ekki nóg um aðalkrimmann Voldemort, þannig að mér datt í hug að skrifa svolítið um hann. Voldemort heitir í raun Tom Marvolo Riddle í höfuðið á föður sínum, Tom eldri var muggi. Móðir Voldemorts var norn en það kemur aldrei fram hvað hún hét, Salazar Slitherin var langa-einhvað-afi hennar. Hún dó rétt eftir fæðingu Voldemorts, þar af leiðandi var Voldemort sendur á munaðarleysingjahæli. Rétt er að geta að Tom eldri ætlaði að giftast móður...

Einu sinni var par á leið í kirkjuna on skyndilega var ekið á þau og þau dóu bæði. Í Himnaríki: Parið kemur að gullnahliðinu og hitta Lykla-Pétur. Pétur ákveður að hleypa parinu inn um hliðið, en þegar þau voru að fara inn stoppar konan og segir við Pétur: Þegar við vorum lifandi vorum við að fara að gifta okkur en okkur tókst það ekki vegna þess að það var keyrt á okkur á leiðinni í kirkjuna. Okkur langar enn að ganga í það heilaga og ég var að spá hvort það væri hægt að gifta sig í...

Stuff that Annoys Me! People who point at their wrist while asking for the time. I know where my watch is buddy, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the bathroom is? People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually. When people say “Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too”. Screw off. What good is a goddamn cake if you can't eat it? What, should...

Mounted Cop There was a cop on his horse waiting to cross the road when a little boy on his new shiny bike stopped beside him. ''Nice bike,'' the cop said, ‘'did Santa bring it to you?’' ''Yep,'' the little boy said, ‘'he sure did!’' The cop looked at the bike and while handing the boy a $20 ticket he said, ‘'Next year, tell Santa to put a license plate on the back of it.’' To go along with the cop, the little boy said, ‘'Nice horse you got there sir, did Santa bring it to you?’' ‘'Yes, He...

The Boob Poem For years and years they told me, Be careful of your breasts. Don't ever squeeze or bruise them. And give them monthly tests. So I heeded all their warnings, And protected them by law. Guarded them very carefully, And I always wore my bra. After 30 years of astute care, My gyno, Dr. Pruitt, Said I should get a Mammogram. “O.K,” I said, “let's do it.” “Stand up here real close” she said, (She got my boob in line), “And tell me when it hurts,” she said, “Ah yes! Right there,...

Perfect breasts (o)(o) Silicone breasts ( + )( + ) Perky breasts (*)(*) Big nipple breasts (@)(@) A cups o o D cups { O }{ O } Wonder bra breasts (oYo) Cold breasts ( ^ )( ^ ) Lopsided breasts (o)(O) Pierced Breasts (Q)(O) Hanging Tassels Breasts (p)(p) Grandma's Breasts \ o /\ o / Against The Shower Door Breasts ( )( ) Android Breasts | o | | o | Mamogram Breasts (_)(_) Martha Stewart's Breasts ($)($) ——————————————- ————————————- And God created woman and she had 3 breasts. He then asked...

Sex life Two guys are in a bar discussing their sex lives. One guy says to the other, “How's your sex life, buddy?” The other guy answers, “Not too good. Every time me and the missus have sex, she loses interest half-way through. It's very frustrating. ” The first guy says, “Yeah, I know what you mean. I used to have the same problem, but I found a cure. I hid a starter pistol under the bed. When she started to run out of steam, I simply fired the starter pistol. It gave her such a fright...