Hugi.is - Notendur - Bjarkihilm

the dart team c/p (2 álit)

í Húmor fyrir 21 árum, 3 mánuðum

The Dart Team Doris and Fred had started their retirement years and decided to raise some extra cash by advertising for a tenant for their terrace house. After a few days, a young attractive woman applied for the room and explained that she was a model working in a nearby city center studio for a few weeks and that she would like the room from Mondays to Thursdays, but would pay for the whole week. Doris showed her the house and they agreed to start straight away. “There's just one problem,”...

mönnum hegnist fyrir lygina (5 álit)

í Húmor fyrir 21 árum, 7 mánuðum

Þórhallur prestur vaknar á sunnudagsmorgni og sólin skín. Hann ákveður að í dag ætli hann að segjast vera veikur og hann komist ekki til messu. Svo hann hringir í annan prest, tilkynnir veikindin, nær svo í golfsettið sitt og læðupokast upp á golfvöll í þeirri von að enginn sjái hann. Á vellinum er ekki nokkur maður svo ráðabrugg Þórhalls prests ætlar að ganga upp. Uppi í Himnaríki snýr Lykla-Pétur sér að Guði og spyr: “Guð, ætlarðu að láta vígðan manninn komast upp með þetta?” Guð horfir...

Gripinn við framhjáhald. (copy/paste enska) (15 álit)

í Húmor fyrir 21 árum, 8 mánuðum

Been Caught Cheating A woman came home just in time to find her husband in bed with another woman. With superhuman strength borne of fury, she dragged her husband down the stairs to the garage and put his penis in a vise. She then secured it tightly and removed the handle. Next she picked up a hacksaw. The husband terrified, screamed, “Stop! Stop! You're not going to cut it off are you?” The wife, with a gleam of revenge in her eye, said, “Nope. You are. I'm going to set the garage on fire.”

brostnar vonir? copy/paste (á ensku) (7 álit)

í Húmor fyrir 21 árum, 8 mánuðum

No! Not That! Morris asks his son, now aged 10, if he knows about the birds and the bees. “I don't want to know!” the child said, bursting into tears. Confused, the father asked his son what was wrong. “Oh dad,” he sobbed, “at age six I got the ‘there’s no Santa' speech. At age seven I got the ‘there’s no Easter bunny' speech. Then at age 8 you hit me with the ‘there’s no tooth fairy' speech!?” “If you're going to tell me now that grown-ups don't really have sex, I've got nothing left to live for!”

Arsenal brandarar (15 álit)

í Húmor fyrir 21 árum, 8 mánuðum

Quick Facts Nickname: The Gunners Manager: Arsene Wenger. Ground: Highbury. Key Players: Thierri Henry, Patrick Vieri, David Seaman Two Gunners fans are on the plane on the way to Holland. One turns to the other and says “Hey Arthur! See if this plane turns upside-doon will we fall out?” “No way Richard,” says his mate “of course we'll still be pals!!” Q: You're trapped in a room with a Lion, Cobra snake and an Arsenal Fan. You have a gun with two bullets. What should you do? A: Shoot the...

Prófniðurstöður í hjá einum Suður Afrískum nemenda (7 álit)

í Húmor fyrir 21 árum, 9 mánuðum

These are apparently answers given by Matrics (last year of school) in a particular province in SA - good for a giggle: Mpumalanga Matric Exam Q&A's Q: Name the four seasons. A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar. Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink. A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists. Q: How is dew formed? A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire. Q:...

Who turned America's best TV show into a cartoon? (17 álit)

í Teiknimyndir fyrir 21 árum, 10 mánuðum

Þessi grein er á http://slate.msn.com/id/2078501/ Einnig eru að birtast margar greinar á netinu núna út af því að þáttur nr. 300 er að koma út nú um helgina, yfirlit yfir þær er á http://www.snpp.com Who turned America's best TV show into a cartoon? By Chris Suellentrop At some point during its 14-year run, The Simpsons turned into one of the best sitcoms on television-and that's not a compliment. At one time, to call The Simpsons the best show on Fox would have been a vast understatement;...

Hvernig pirra skal alvöru yankee (4 álit)

í Húmor fyrir 22 árum, 1 mánuði

1. Take your own sweet time when doing ANYTHING. 2. Pronounce all one-syllable words with two. 3. When giving directions, finish with “and it's right down yonder on the left.” Confuses the mess out of ‘em. 4. Talk REAL slow, and ask them to speak more slowly so you can understand what they’re saying. 5. When they talk nostalgically about the North, tell ‘em “Delta’s ready when you are!” 6. Talk loudly and often about SEC football or ACC basketball. 7. Refer to every soft drink as a Coke....

reglur suðursins (0 álit)

í Húmor fyrir 22 árum, 1 mánuði

1. Save all manner of bacon grease. If it can't be fried in bacon grease, it ain't worth cooking, let alone eating. 2. Just because one can drive on snow and ice does not mean we can't stay home the two days of the year it snows. 3. If you do run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in the cab of a four wheel drive with a 12-pack of beer and a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them. Just stay out of their way. This is what they live for. 4. Don't be surprised to find...

copy paste: veikindamiðar (2 álit)

í Húmor fyrir 22 árum, 1 mánuði

Actual School Absence Excuse Notes These are excuse notes from parents (including original spelling) collected by schools from all over the country. 1. My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him. 2. Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot. 3. Dear School: Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33. 4. Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating. 5. Please excuse Roland from P.E....