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-Diary of a Junkie-

I’ve been born in a world of darkness
the people don’t seem to like me at all
so into eternal sadness,
my life seems to fall,
and it falls, it falls, it falls down on you
so I grab you, and I drag you down too.

The reason for this, this sudden change of life
is dope, nicotine, liquer and cocaine
My plate is my mirror, and my fork is a knife
my food is dust with wine and no pain
This lifestyle is a hellride, and it has only one stop
and it is the bottom, Satan’s home, but not the top.

But this world of darkness is so deep
and I try to climb, I climb in vain
and the only way to forget my pain, is to go back to sleep
or eat another plate of cocaine

Up I go, down I fall,
fourteen steps forward, fifteen steps back
The top vanishes, and I can’t recall at all
the day I took my sack
and jumped down to this pit
and got stuck at the bottom, in the shit.

Suddenly I realize,
I’m just an insect, I like the shit
I eat it, just like other flies
and the warmth, at the bottom at this pit
is cozy, so I am getting used to living here
and I don’t want to get back up there.

So here I will be, I will never come back
and to die here is going to be my only fate
in this darkness, no light, everything is black
and all I have left is my hate
for other people, other junkies, other flies
life at the bottom of the world is nice.

So family, friends, here I will stay,
I’ll never come back up to ground
to you I have nothing left to say,
and my mouth can’t make a single sound.
But I will miss you, I still love you
but I don’t think you will ever love that junkie too.

This pit is my home, but I will move again
and my house will be hell, cos there are my friends
and other junkies, other jerks, other stupid men
these are my last words, my life ends
bye, bye family, you will never cry
cos’ I’m just a junkie, and they are supposed to die.


-pardus 1999-