dear love,

i miss you
so bad
that my hair is falling out
and my skin is peeling off,
i can't think,
i can't sleep,
i can't eat,
i can't live without you.

days are a blur,
a mess of quick glares,
unspoken words,
sharp blades
and red rivers running down my arm

because her words are like bullets,
they sting at first
then they hurt
and make me bleed.

but as always
i pretend.
because that's what i'm supposed to do.
i'm supposed to be perfect.
a pretender.
a poser.

…

fingernails were ment to be bitten, tears to be wiped away,
and here i am, biting my fingernails, NOT crying… i'm okay…
my life is great, it's oh-so-great, it's great, it's fine, i'm fine…
-and if anyone asks: the blood on my arm's not mine.

well… my soul is a mess, i'm legally insane,
emotionally paralyzed, something murmurs in my brain,
but there's this one thought in my mind that's clear:
HOW I WISH YOU WERE HERE

…

keep my head up high, my feet on the ground,
hold my breath, don't make a sound,
stay calm, stand still,
soon i will
find the peace i never found.

…

i hate school
and it rains too much.
eventually i'll have to kill her
or kill myself.
let's see what happens first.

…wish you were here…