A construction worker is on the 5th floor of an apartment building. He's been up there working for 5 hours and is extremely tried. All he needs is a saw and he can be on his way, but its back in the truck and he's to tired to go down and back up again. So he spots his co-worker and manages to get his attention. He was too tired to scream, so he used his hands.

He points at himself to say “I”, then at his knees to say “need”, then move his hands back and forth like hes cutting something to say “saw”


“I need saw”

The other guy, back on the ground, gave a thumbs up then started masturbating. The man got so angry that he ran down all the stairs and punched the guy in the face believing he had insulted him“

The other man said ”What the hell?“

The man replies ”What are you doing?! I asked for a saw!“

The other man says ”I know, I just wanted to tell you I was comming“









A man and a giraffe both come into a bar completely drunk.
They hit up a few more drinks and the giraffe passes out.
The man decides to leave, but just as he is about to leave the bar, the bartender holds him and shouts:
”Hey! You can't keep that lyin' here!“
To which the man replies:
”It's not a lion, it's a giraffe!"







In order to test which one is your best friend dog or wife put both of them in your cars trunk and after two hours you open it see which one is happy to see you!








What do you call an ethiopian with a yeast infection?

Quarter pounder w/ cheese