One of the questions is, ‘What do you want in a woman?’.
Apparently ‘my cock’ is not an acceptable answer.
——————————————————————
A suicide bomber runs into a pet shop and yells, ‘you’ve all got one minute to get out!'
The tortoise at the back of the shop shouts, ‘you c unt!’
——————————————————————-
why are women like clouds? eventually they fu ck off and its a really nice day
——————————————————————
Whats the difference between light and hard?
You can sleep with a light on.
——————————————————————-
A man walks into a petrol station and says, ‘can I please have a KitKat Chunky?’
The lady behind the till gets him a KitKat Chunky and brings it back to him.
'No,' says the man, ‘I wanted a normal KitKat, you fat bitch.’
——————————————————————–
My wife, being unhappy with my mood swings, bought me one of these mood rings so she could monitor my mood.
We discovered that, when I am in a good mood, it turns green and, when I am in a bad mood, it leaves a big fucki ng red mark on her forehead.
———————————————————————-
I was at a cash machine when an old lady came up to me and asked to check her balance.
So I pushed her over.
———————————————————————–
Zebo, a half blind five year old south african orphan, has to ride 7 miles a day to school with only one leg on a bicycle with buckled wheels and no brakes. Give just small donation of 2 dollars and we'll send you the video, it's fu cking hilarious….
———————————————————————-
I had a dog named minton who had an unfortunate habit of eating shuttlecocks.
Bad minton.
———————————————————————-
Two men are in a pub. One says to his mate ‘My mother-in-law is an angel’. His dude replies ‘You’re so fuc king lucky. Mine is still alive…'
———————————————————————–
A man goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide.
The librarian says; ‘Fu ck off, you won’t bring it back.'
———————————————————————-
2 Men in a pub and one is riding a Bucking Bronco Machine. He lasts over 10 minutes.
'Crikey mate, that was impressive!'
'I get lots of practice' Replied the other guy. ‘My Wifes epileptic’