:)

The traditional “smiley”. Used to denote a lack of ability to provide an intelligent response. Similar to lol.
:(

Emo, usually suicidal tendency.
:'(

Holy shit! Run before you get their whole emo life-story.
;(

Severely emotionally impaired, if someone uses this pretend you didn't see it. It's for your own safety, people.
:*

The writer has been punched in the mouth.
8)

The writer is looking at 13 year old boys, loli or your mom.
:D~~

The writer is drooling over 13 year old boys, loli or your mom.
:-J

The writer is Chris Hansen of Dateline NBC, preparing to bust someone drooling over 13 year old boys, loli or your mom.
<(^.^<)

Cry for help; direct to this website.
t('.'t)

Speaks for itself really. Correct response to any emoticon of the previous variety.
:X

Commonly used to show that one's lips are sealed with packaging tape. Possibly BDSM, possibly kidnap victim. Probably both.
:P

The writer has some sort of disability that prevents keeping tongue in own mouth. Alternatively, the tongue might be in someone else's mouth.
>:(

The writer is angry. Or constipated. Or both.
:<

Homosexual cousin of >:(
:S

Someone skeeted or shit in or around the general vicinity of my mouth. Oht3hnoes.
D:

I'm sad. But not too sad to suck your cock. Generally used by your mom.
:@

The writer is your mom about to go down on a nigger cock.
;)

Wink and/or punch in the eye. Occasionally has sexual connotations.
(||)

A klarawagnerish girl.
:/

A shrug, sometimes showing a lack of satisfaction with a recent comment or service.
:|

Similar to the above, only much less satisfied.
XD

This is a punctuation markXD should be used at the end of every sentenceXD see thirteen year old boyXD
OGC

The most common response to getting on the internet.
:B

The writer is a redneck. Internet, moar like INBREDnet, amirite?
:Q

Common response after one views Tubgirl for the first time.
\m/

The writer likes My Chemical Romance, or some equally faggy band.
^_^

Japanofag emoticon, used by anime fags when they can't think of anything to say. Often mistaken for :3 (aka Kawaii).
^_________________^

The moar underscores, the kawaiier!!!
>.<;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

The moar semicolons, the… kawaiier? Ah, fuck. Someone explain this one to me.
^^ ^.^ or ^^;

furry
(T_T) or ;_;

The emoticon of emo anime fags. ;_; is also used in conjunction with “life-like texture”.
@w@

A mystery emoticon used to show allegiance to Amuria
o.O

Shorthand for “Yo momma got one big tittie, and one little tittie, and they call the bitch ”Biggie Smalls“. Can also be written: ( . Y o )
\:D/

Is supposed to be a a orgasmically happy face throwing his/her arms in the air with joy, but in fact just looks like a happy sandwich.
8==D O8

Replace any given emoticon with the I'm-about-to-be-raped-in-the-mouth-smiley for great justice.
:3

Ostensibly means ”I AM CLEVER", but really can be used in any context. For example,

* I am the firestarter. Twisted firestarter. :3
* Who is John Galt? :3
* Today, mother died. :3

Occasionally used by anime fags not fags FAGS to make a ‘cat face’.
>:3

JESUS CHRIST, IT'S A LION! GET IN THE CAR!
:#

I GOTZ A GRILL MA NIGGA
>:[ ]

I'm gonna suck you blood!
:DS<

Crazy wavy rubber arms.
8=========D

Instant Win
(_)_)lllllllD

When 8========D just doesn't cut it.
<3=====D

Heartdong is made of heart and dong
(_)_)XXXXXXXD

UNWREATH MY PHALLUS YOU DASTARD! &#3232;_&#3232; ===( . Y . )===LOL boobs
¬_¬

Generally used to portray “You best be jokin', nigga.”
|*-*|

A stupid emotion that aim invented for cassette tape how many people use this? 0
¯\(°_o)/¯

I dunno lol
¯\(º&#1076;&#3232;)/¯

I dunno lol after going through the Internet Hate Machine…again
8U

Ultimate horror, possibly Anal rape
&#3232;_&#3232;

&#3232;_&#3232; &#3232;_&#3232; &#3232;_&#3232; &#3232;_&#3232; &#3232;_&#3232; &#3232;_&#3232; &#3232;_&#3232; &#3232;_Q
&#1758;_&#1759;&#1758;

Just saw Goatse for the first time.
+O

OMG Cyclops roars.
:þ

Use this if you're a gay
&#3245;_&#3245;

titeyes
&#3095;_&#3095;

16 year old girl
&#2462;_&#2462;
&#3373;_&#3373;

I see what you did there.
&#3123;_&#3123;
&#2731;_&#2731;
&#3223;_&#3223;
&#3230;_&#3230;
&#2970;_&#2970;
&#2466;_&#2466;
&#2355;_&#2355;
&#2864;_&#2864;
&#2866;_&#2866;

jellyfish eyes
&#3249;_&#3249;
&#3250;_&#3250;
&#2584;_&#2584;
&#2589;_&#2589;
&#3353;_&#3353;
&#3349;_&#3349;
&#3663;&#815;&#865;&#3663;)

h…hissy…? ;_;
Common Jewmoticons
.{:r)}}

Orthodox Hooknose Jew
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