A woman is in a hospital in a coma. After a few days, the nurse notices
that every time she sponge-bathes the woman around the crotch, her
vital signs, according to the nearby monitor, increase significantly.
The nurse gets the bright idea that oral sex might just provide the stimulus to bring the woman out of her coma.
She calls the woman's husband, tells him her idea about oral sex, and
he agrees. When he arrives at the hospital, the nurse ushers him into the
room, closes the curtain around the bed, and closes the door.
Five minutes later, the man comes running out of the room screaming that all of his
wife's vital signs have plummeted to zero and she needs a doctor immediately.
The nurse, upset that her idea had not only failed, but seemed to be threatening the life of the woman she had sought to save, asked the man what happened?

He replied, “I'm not sure, but I think she choked.”

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Q: What happened to the Pope when he went to Mount Olive?

A: Popeye beat the sh*t out of him.

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There once was a Red Indian whose given name was “Onestone.” So named because he had only one testicle. He hated that name and asked everyone not to call him Onestone.

After years and years of torment, Onestone finally cracked and said, “If anyone calls me Onestone again I will kill them!”

The word got around and nobody called him that any more.Then one day a young woman named Blue Bird forgot and said, “Good morning,Onestone.” He jumped up, grabbed her and took her deep into the forest where he made love to her all day and all night. He made love to her all the next day, until Blue Bird died from exhaustion.

The word got around that Onestone meant what he promised he would do.

Years went by and no one dared call him by his given name until a woman named Yellow Bird returned to the village after being away for many years.

Yellow Bird, who was Blue Bird's cousin, was overjoyed when she saw Onestone. She hugged him and said, “Good to see you, Onestone.”

Onestone grabbed her, took her deep into the forest, then he made love to her all day, made love to her all night, made love to her all the next day, made love to her all the next night, but Yellow Bird wouldn't die!

What is the moral of this story? …

OH, come on .. take a guess!


Think about it


(You're going to love this!)


And the moral is:



You can't kill two birds with one stone!


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“I was asked to run a marathon,
I said, ”no way.“
They said ‘come on, please, it’s for spastics and blind children.'
So I thought, f*ck it, I could win this.”


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