“Whenever you lose something, it's always in the last place you look.”
~ Captain Obvious on Loss

“It does exactly what is says on the tin.”
~ Captain Obvious on Ronseal

“100% of people who breathe air die.”
~ Captain Obvious on air

“The sky is blue.”
~ Captain Obvious on the sky

“The grass is green.”
~ Captain Obvious on the grass

“He was a good player.”
~ Captain Obvious on Michael Jordan

“She's promiscuous, and by that I mean she sleeps with a lot of men”
~ Captain Obvious on Paris Hilton

“I am mellow.”
~ Captain Obvious on pot

“It's rainy here.”
~ Captain Obvious on Seattle

“This is a man who hates America.”
~ Captain Obvious on Mahmoud Ahmadinejad

“Scientology is odd.”
~ Captain Obvious on Scientology

“Damn, this is wet!”
~ Captain Obvious on water

“We can't cross here. That could be dangerous.”
~ Captain Obvious on a pool of acid

“George W Bush's competence is questionable.”
~ Captain Obvious on George W. Bush

“That car is cool!”
~ Captain Obvious on a Ferrari Testarossa

“That guy was morbidly obese!”
~ Captain Obvious on Fat Albert

“We are so high up!”
~ Captain Obvious on being in a space shuttle

“Our foes have superpowers that they are not using in the name of justice!”
~ Captain Obvious on his foes

“Judging by the lair's diagram, it consists of a series of booby traps which could potentially injure someone…or worse.”
~ Captain Obvious on the lair

“Humans are people too.”
~ Captain Obvious on humans

“This runway isn't the most sensible picnic area.”
~ Captain Obvious on a picnic

“Wait here! This button beside the door will call an elevator!”
~ Captain Obvious on elevators

“Ok… we're going in! Everyone be careful!”
~ Captain Obvious on The Danger Room

“These Sentinels are robots!”
~ Captain Obvious on Robot Sentinels

“I… can't…move!”
~ Captain Obvious on being struck with a paralysis ray

“The Evil Brotherhood of Mutants are a brotherhood of mutants that are evil!”
~ Captain Obvious on The Evil Brotherhood of Mutants

“It looks like butter,it tastes like butter, it's used like butter, yet it doesn't appear to actually be butter.”
~ Captain Obvious on I can't believe it's not butter

“He sucks.”
~ Captain Obvious on Ben Deavin

It wasn't long before the group became fed up with what he thought were ‘insightful observations’. He lent his services to the Justice League of America, but was soon expelled due to his controversial views on America.

“You're going to regret giving the Brits internet access.”
~ Captain Obvious

“War occurs when people do not wish to avoid fighting over the things they fight over.”
~ Captain Obvious on war

“Peace will flourish when people choose to avoid fighting. This could also well mean the end of war.”
~ Captain Obvious on peace

“We are a Nation of States, which we will remain, until we change.”
~ Captain Obvious on Captain America´s nationality

“Evil is not good. In fact, it is much, much worse. ”
~ Captain Obvious on the problem with evil

“CEOs in the USA are overpaid.”
~ Captain Obvious on American CEOs

“Careful! There's water there!”
~ Captain Obvious on a puddle

“It's Hot out Here”
~ Captain Obvious on the Sahara

“Murder should be illegal. There is nothing more homocidal than murder”
~ Captain Obvious on murder

“She's crazy”
~ Captain Obvious on Brittany Spears

“He is a liar”
~ Captain Obvious on Bill Clinton

“Being stabbed kinda hurts, especially if it's done in a spot that is sensitive to sharp pieces of metal”
~ Captain Obvious on being stabbed

“She is as skinny as a piece of paper.”
~ Captain Obvious on Lindsay Lohan

“She's a hottie.”
~ Captain Obvious on Jessica Alba

“Thats a lot of Water”
~ Captain Obvious on Niagara Falls

“He's a retarded jackass who hates video games.”
~ Captain Obvious on Jack Thompson

“I cannot beat him.”
~ Captain Obvious on Chuck Norris