There are these two very close friends, Bill and Fred, and they both love baseball. As they got older they started to wonder if there was baseball in heaven. So one day they made a deal with each other. Whichever one died first would come back the night after his death to tell the living one if there was baseball in heaven. So time passes on and Bill dies. Later that night, Fred's in his bed and all of the sudden he hears his friend Bills voice. He looks up and sure enough, there's Bill standing there. Fred says, “So Bill, tell me. Do they play baseball in heaven?” Bill says, “Well I got some good news and some bad news. Which do you want first?” Fred says, “Well, give me the good news.” “Yes there's baseball in heaven,” says Bill. “Well, what's the bad news,” Fred asks. Then Bill says, “You're pitching tomorrow.”


There are two muffins sitting in an oven. One of them says “Damn, it's hot in here.” The other one says “Holy crap, a talking muffin!”