Fresh from my shower, I stand in front of the mirror complaining to my husband
that my breasts are too small. Instead of characteristically telling me it's
not so, he uncharacteristically comes up with a
suggestion. “If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of
toilet paper and rub it between them for a few seconds”
Willing to try anything, I fetch a piece of toilet paper and stand in front of
the mirror, rubbing it between my breasts.
“How long will this take?” I asked.
“They will grow larger over a period of years,” my husband replies. I stopped.
“Do you really think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my
breasts every day will make my breasts larger over the years?” Without missing
a beat he says “Worked for your butt, didn't it?”
He's still alive, and with a great deal of therapy, he may even walk again
although he will probably continue to take his meals through a straw.
Stupid, stupid man.