Nokkrir brandarar á ensku sem ég fann á netinu og fannst skondnir.

——-

A man goes into a pet shop to buy a parrot…
The shop owner points to three identical looking parrots on a perch and says: “The parrot on the left costs 500 dollars”.
“Why, does the parrot cost so much?” asks the man. The owner says, “Well the parrot knows how to use a computer”.
The man then asks about the next parrot and is told that this one costs 1,000 dollars because it can do everything
the first parrot can do plus it knows how to use the UNIX operating system.
Naturally, the increasingly startled man asks about the third parrot and is told that it costs 2,000 dollars.
Needless to say this begs the question, “What can it do?”
To which the owner replies, “To be honest I have never seen it do a thing but the other two call him boss!”

——-

I can't decide…

Two girlfriends were speeding down the highway at well over 90 mph.
“Hey,” asked the brunette at the wheel, “Any cops following us?”
The blonde turned around and had a long look at the road behind them.
“Yeah, looks like it”
“Are his flashers on?”
The blonde turned around again……
“Yup….nope….yup….nope….yup….nope….yup…..”

——-

A man came down with the flu and was forced to stay home one day. He was glad for the interlude
because it taught him how much his wife loved him.

She was so thrilled to have him around that when a delivery man or the mailman arrived,
she ran out and yelled, “My husband's home! My husband's home!”

——-

endilega segja hvað ykkur finnst.