ACTUAL AUSTRALIAN COURT DOCKET 12659—CASE OF THE PREGNANT LADY

A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus.
She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat. This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again. The man seemed more amused. When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she complained to the driver and he had the man arrested.
The case came up in court. The judge asked the man (about 20 years old) what he had to say for himself. The man replied, "Well your Honor, it was like this: When the lady got on the bus, I couldn't help but notice her condition. She sat under a sweets sign that said, “The Double Mint Twins are Coming” and I grinned. Then she moved and sat under a sign that said, “Logan's Liniment will reduce the swelling”, and I had to smile. Then she placed herself under a deodorant sign that said, “William's Big Stick Did the Trick”, and I could hardly contain myself. BUT, your Honor, when she moved the fourth time and sat under a sign that said, “Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this Accident”.. I just lost it.“

”CASE DISMISSED!!“



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Three former kindergartners were trying to become accustomed to first grade. The biggest hurdle they faced was that the teacher insisted on no baby talk. ”You need to use big people words,“ she'd always remind them. She asked Wendy what she had done over the weekend. ”I went to visit my Nana.“ ”No, you went to visit your GRANDMOTHER. Use big people words!“ She then asked Joey what he had done. ”I took a ride on a choo-choo,“ he said. ”No, you took a ride on a TRAIN…use big people words!“ She then asked Eddie what he had done. ”I read a book,“ he replied. ”That's wonderful,“ the teacher said. ”What book did you read?“ Eddie thought about it, then puffed out his chest with great pride and said, ”Winnie The Shit."