* Driving your fellow Congressman into the turnbuckle now considered acceptable method of ending a filibuster.

* President now shouts entire State of the Union address with his face 18 inches from TV camera.

* IRS audit replaced by more efficient reverse body slam onto enema.

* Government becomes a charade of meaningless noises and lots of posturing by a bunch of inarticulate losers with no class or manners - Hey, wait a minute…

* Free school lunches destined for the needy instead go to the biggest, meanest, stupidest kid in each school.

* Sex scandals now involve even skankier women.

* January 20: Inauguration ceremonies. January 21: FDA approves over-the-counter sale of steroids Newt Gingrich is finally able to wear his mask and cape out of the house.

* During House debate, it is acceptable to yield to the gentleman wielding a folding chair.

* Difficult finding interns willing to accommodate an entire pouch of Skoal.

* Strom Thurmond *finally* removed by The Undertaker.

* Line to bodyslam Ken Starr winds around Lincoln Memorial.

* Before: Mr. Vice President
After: Stone Cold Al Gore


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I do what I do, I am who I am, if you don´t like it……PISS OFF
-psycho 2001</b>

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