Q: What the difference between Michael Jackson and acne?
A: Acne doesn't come on your face until you're about fifteen.

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Q: What's blonde, had six legs and runs through Michael Jacksons dreams?
A: Hanson.

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Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Little Boy Blue.
Little Boy Blue who?
Michael Jackson.

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A beautiful, well endowed, young blonde, goes to her local pet store in search of an exotic pet. As she looks about the store, she notices a box full of frogs. The sign says: Sex Frogs! Only $20 each! Money Back Guarantee! (Comes with complete instructions).

The girl excitedly looks around to see if anybody's watching her and whispers softly to the man behind the counter, “I'll take one.” The man packaged the frog and said, “Just follow the instructions carefully.”

The girl nods, grabs the box, and is quickly on her way home. As soon as she closes the door to her apartment, the girl takes out the instructions and reads them thoroughly, doing exactly what it says to do:

1. Take a shower.
2. Splash on some nice smelling perfume.
3. Slip into a very sexy teddy.
4. Crawl into bed and position the frog in place.

She then quickly gets into bed with the frog and, to her surprise, nothing happens! The girl is totally frustrated and quite upset at this point. She re-reads the instructions and notices at the bottom of the paper it says, “If you have any problems or questions, please call the pet store.” So, the girl calls the pet store.

The man says, “I had some complaints earlier today. I'll be right over.” Within five minutes, the man is ringing her doorbell. The girl welcomes him in and says, “See, I've done everything according to the instructions and the damn thing just sits there.”

The man, looking very concerned, picks up the frog, stares directly into its eyes and sternly says: “Listen to me! I'm only going to show you how to do this one more time!”

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There once was a little boy who was celebrating his 11th birthday.

He decided to test his family to see if they remembered his birthday, so he goes downstairs to his father. “Bet cha' can't guess how old I am today”, the boy said.

The father has no clue and finally gives up. “I'm eleven!” the boy exclaims.

Next he goes in the kitchen, walks up to his grandma, and says, “Bet cha' can't guess how old I am today”.

“Let me give it a guess”, grandma says and sticks her hand in his trousers.

She plays with his testicles for about an hour or so (squeezing them; moving them back and forth), takes her hand out of his trousers, and says, “You're eleven years old”.

“How did you know?” the boy asked.

Grandma replied, “I heard you tell your father”.

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One day a man went on a buissness trip to Florida.

He had saw this hooker and he asked “How much for a hand job?”

The hooker replied “100 Bucks”

The man said “100 Bucks, That's a lot of got damn money”

So the hooker pulled him to the side and said “See that Mercedes, I paid for that by giving hand jobs.”

So he gave her the money and received the best hand he had ever had.

The next day he sees her and asks “How much for a head job?”

She said “200 dollars”

“200 dollars that's a lot of money”

She pulled him to the side and said “You see that yahat by the pier, I paid for that yahat by giving head jobs.”

So he gives her the money, and get the best head job of his life

On hist last day in Florida he returns to the hooker and says “The hand job was good, the head job was great how much for the whole package.”

“1000 dollars'

”1000 dollars that's a lot of god damn money“

So she pulled him to side and said ”You see that island, I could afford that if i had a pussy."