Jæja hér eru brandarar sem ég fann einhversstaðar á netinu:

#1:

Two guys, one from West Virginia and one from Kentucky, were walking across a field when they came across a sheep whose head was locked between the pickets of a fence.

Knowing a good thing when he sees it, the guy from Kentucky drops his drawers and does the sheep. When he's finished, he pulls up his pants and tell the West Virginian, “OK, now it's your turn.”

So the West Virginian bends over and puts his head between the pickets.

#2:

A man is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road. A woman is driving down the same road.

As they pass each other, the woman leans out of the window and yells “PIG!!” The man immediately leans out of his window and replies, “BITCH!!” They each continue on their way, and as the man rounds the next corner, he crashes into a pig in the middle of the road.

If only men would listen.

(Ég er á móti svona bröndurum um menn en þar sem það er einhver kellingadagur í dag þá fær hann að fljóta með)

#3:

It was George the Mailman's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood. When he arrived at the first house on his route he was greeted by the whole family there, who roundly and soundly congratulated him and sent him on his way with a tidy gift envelope. At the second house they presented him with a box of fine cigars. The folks at the third house handed him a selection of terrific fishing lures.

At the fourth house he was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful blonde woman in a revealing negligee. She took him by the hand, gently led him through the door (which she closed behind him), and led him up the stairs to the bedroom where she blew his mind with the most passionate love he had ever experienced.

When he had enough they went downstairs, where she fixed him a giant breakfast: eggs, potatoes, ham, sausage, blueberry waffles, and fresh-squeezed orange juice. When he was truly satisfied she poured him a cup of steaming coffee. As she was pouring, he noticed a dollar bill sticking out from under the cup's bottom edge. “All this was just too wonderful for words,” he said, “but what's the dollar for?”

“Well,” she said, “last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day, and that we should do something special for you. I asked him what to give you.

He said, ‘Fuck him. Give him a dollar.’ The breakfast was my idea.”

#4:

A man and a woman were driving down the road arguing about his deplorable infidelity. Suddenly, the woman reaches over and slices the man's penis off. Angrily, she tosses it out the car window.

Driving behind the couple is a man and his 10 year old daughter. The little girl is just chatting away at her father when, all of a sudden, the penis smacks the pickup on the windshield, sticks for a moment, then flies off.

Surprised, the daughter asks her father, “Daddy, what the heck was that?”

Not wanting to expose his twelve year old daughter to anything sexual at such a young age, the father replies, “It was only a bug, honey.”

The daughter sits with a confused look on her face, and after a few minutes she says, “Sure had a big dick, didn't it?”

tekið af:
http://www.bright.net/~beeryde/

Æji.. þetta var nú ekki mikið…