- I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.


- Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector
wasn't plugged in.


- Aren't you the guy from the Village People?


- Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up
with me. Good job!


- I thought you had to be in relatively good physical
condition to be a police officer.


- You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?

- Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just
so one of us does.


- I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know
there are no other cars around. That's how far ahead
of me they are.


- When the Officer says “Gee Son….Your eyes look
red, have you been drinking?” You probably shouldn't
respond with,“Gee Officer your eyes look glazed, have
you been eating doughnuts?”


- I pay your salary!


- Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only
gave me a warning, too!