My nookie days are over,
My pilot light is out,
What used to be my sex appeal,
Is now my water spout.

Time was when, on its own accord,
From my trousers it would spring,
But now I've got a full-time job,
To find the blasted thing.

It used to be embarrassing,
The way it would behave,
For every single morning,
It would stand and watch me shave.

Now as old age approaches,
It sure gives me the blues,
To see it hang its little head,
And watch me tie my shoes

- - -

Donald Duck and Minnie Mouse were up in a hotel room and decided that they wanted to have sex. Well, the first thing Minnie asks is, “Do you have a condom?”

Donald says “No.”

Minnie tells Donald that if he doesn't get a condom that they can't have sex and suggests to Donald that he go buy a condom. She says that maybe they sell them at the front desk.

Donald proceeds to go downstairs and gets to the front desk. He asks the hotel clerk if they sell condoms.

The clerk says “yes we do” and pulls one out from under the desk and gives it to Donald.

The clerk asks “Would you like me to put that on your bill?”

Donald says "NO! WHAT DO YOU THINK I AM, SOME KIND OF PERVERT?