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Inniheldur spoilera úr myndunum, lesið á eigin ábyrgð.

Orc1: Have you seen my black eyeliner?
Orc2: No silly, you had it last.
Orc1: Damn, how am I supposed to fight a battle without looking my best?

Sam to Frodo as Frodo stands on the precipice: Frodo! What are you waiting for!? Why don't you just throw it in?
Frodo: I'm wondering how much I could get for this on eBay …

The Orc Army as they approach Minas Tirith: Hey, this ain't Bangkok. Should we have made a left at Albuquerque?

One of the Beacon Lighters: I keep telling them to get AOL Instant Messenger … but do they listen to me? NoOOOoooo.

Eowyn: I am no man!
Head Nazgul: In that case, ya wanna blow this joint and come over to my place?

Legolas (to Aragorn): Don't tell the dwarf, but I'm out of arrows

Witch King: (to fellow Nazgul) Yeah, this gig's okay, but I get paid more to be Death.

Sam: I think we should listen to Gollum.

Shelob on bonus features: Yeah, when I took this role, I thought the character was like Charlotte from Charlottes Web. So, I made Frodo a nice quilt with his name in it. Then I found out that the part requires me to attack him. I didn't mind attacking Sam, as he got crumbs on the quilt. Crumbs don't come out of web!

Aragorn: I'm sick of sword fighting as a means of attaining victory! (as he grabs an orc, gives it a wedgie and runs off laughing maniacly)

Theoden:“We have rendered 6000 riders in 3 days. Imagine what I could do with an
I-Mac”

Gandalf: Let the ringbearer decide.
Frodo: We will go through the mines.
Gandalf: Crap, I knew I should have said, “Let the wizard decide.”

Gimli: Legolas! Two already!
Legolas: I'm on seventeen!
Gimli: What! I'll have no pointy ear outscoring me! *Gimli then kills Legolas* Three!

Gandalf: How do we know Frodo is alive?
Aragorn: What does your heart tell you?
Gandalf: To get the fu*k outta here!

GANDALF: It is in men which we must place our trust.
ELROND: Men? Men are weak. The only way they can survive is to spread to another area. There is another organismn in Middle Earth that follows the same pattern. A virus. Human beings are a disease, a cancer of Middle Earth, they are a plague, and we are the cure.

Gandalf: All our hopes now lie with two small hobbits, somewhere in the wilderness.
Aragorn: Is it too late to change our plan?

Aragorn: “That is no trinket you carry”
Frodo: “You couldn't be more right, friend. This is the completely authentic Ring of Power, forged by the reknowned ring-maker Sauron in the fires of Mount Doom. This particular example is the only one of its kind in the world, is impervious to heat and when exposed to flame shows a nifty little message. It also features self-adjusting width so it always fits perfectly. The perfect gift for that special someone or even for yourself, yours for only $699.99 plus postage and handling. Order in the next 10 minutes and I'll throw in an authentic Shire belt buckle for free! What do you say?”

Aragorn: Gondor calls for aid!
(pause)
Theoden: And Rohan will not answer!
(pause)
Theoden: only joking

(at Isengard)
Saruman: And yet you did not have the wits to see it. Your love of the Halflings' leaf has clearly slowed your mind.
Gandalf: I still have some left. Want any? (starts to sing to himself) puff, the magic dragon, lives by the sea….


Aragorn: (as he sees a tiny spider) Ohmygodohmygodohmygod! Kill it! Get it away from me!

Aragorn: Gondor calls for aid
Theoden: Gondor? Oh yes that place near Mordor.. well send them a fruit basket im not goin near there.

Orc about to get crushed by rock: REMEBER ME AS A HERO
Orc #2: Ummm sir.. you do have time to move out of the way you know
Orc: Well i guess you rght with all this time im talkin i could hav- ~crushed~

Haldir:(As the Uruk' are approaching helms deep) So…Aragorn…about your stereo…

Marching Uruk-Hai: Hey Guess what, I know all of the Micheal Bolton Songs ever made! Here it goes…

Aragorn: Gondor calls for aid.
Theoden: I didn't see anything. Hmm hmm… tea anyone?

Arwen: You saw my child in your vision?
Elrond: I see lots of children in my vision. And sleeping with them is a wonderful thing. The whole world should do it, we would all be a bit happier.
US Marshall: Mr. Elrond you're under arrest.
Elrond: You dislocated my shoulder you bastard!

Gandalf: I am a servant of the Secret Fire, wielder of the flame of Anor! The dark fire will not avail you, flame of Udun! Arrghh! Go back to the Shadow!! YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!!
Balrog: (starts crying) My mother has told me that my entire life! And my school teachers! They always say that I won't pass, that I'll just be nothing in life!
Gandalf: (hugs balrog) Shhh, now now, everything is going to be fine.

Frodo: Go home Sam!
Sam: THANK GOD! I've been waiting for you to say that forever!

TTT:
When Gimli tries on chain mail:
“How do I look darling?
Legolas: ”beatiful! we take it!“
gimli:*blushes and giggles: oh Leggie, it is too expensieve!

Pip to Gandalf on the way to minas Tirith
Pip: are we there yet?
Gan:NO
Pip:Are we there yet?
Gan:No
Pip:Are we there yet!?
Gan: FOR THE LAST TIME NO!!! we have been trying to get you on my horse for the last half hour… WERE STILL IN ROHAN!!!!
Pip:…..
….
ARE WE THERE YET?

Aragorn:
”You have my sword.“
Gimli:
”And you have my axe.“
Legolas:
”And you have my floral arrangements."

Frodo hears a knock at the door.
Frodo: Who is it?
Voice: Pizza delivery.
Frodo: Did you order a pizza Gandalf?
Gandalf: No.
Frodo opens the door: We didn't order a pizza.
Ringwraith points a sword at Frodo: Give me the ring, you fool!

Frodo runs into Mt. Doom and it lights up with TV screens and he sees a man in a chair
Frodo: Who are you?
Architect: I am the Architect. I designed Middle Earth to be the height of you civilization. You are the annomaly. Which led you inexorably to me.
Frodo: I was led here? I've been stabbed, stung, skewered, whipped, and starved and you invited me here?
Architect: Sorry about all that. You are here because the Shire is about to be destroyed. You now have just two choices. You can give the ring to me and choose 17 women and 7 men to rebuild the Shire. Or, you can claim the ring and try to rule Middle Earth on your own.
Frodo: There is a third choice.
Architect: And what is that?
Frodo walks up and shoves the Architect over the edge into the lava.
Frodo: Just remember, that hot stuff you are falling into is just a binary code!

At Aragorn's coronation
Peasant 1: Who's that there?
Peasant 2: I don't know… Must be a king…
Peasant 1: Why?
Peasant 2: He hasn't got shit all over him.

Gandalf: Look, pippin!
Pippin: Gondor?
Gandalf: Gondor!!
Pippin: It's only a model.
Gandalf: Shh!

Gandalf: It's a bit crowded…Ok, everyone out!…Not you, Gimli. Not you, Aragorn. Not you, dwarf. Not you hobbits. Not you Faramir. Not you, Arwen. Not you, Eowyn or Eomer. Not you guys back there. Not you, Gondor soldier arbitrarily sharpening a blade making it seem like you're doing something.
Gandalf: Ahem….
(long pause)
(Legolas looking around aimlessly)
Gandalf: Ahem….
Gimli: Diversion boy can't take a hint.

Tekið af IMDB.COM


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