One day this lady who was 40 years old went to get a face lift. It turned out really good. She decided to see if anyone could guess how old she was now. She started off her day going to the newspaper stand. she asked the dude selling the newspaper “how old do you think i am”? He looked at her and said 20. She told him about the face lift and how she was 40, bought her newspaper and went off to burger king for breakfast. She asked the man taking her order “how old do you think I am”? He guessed that she was 30. She told him about the face lift and how she was 40 and sat down and ate. After breakfast she went for a walk and ran into a man. She didn't know him so she decided to ask him how old he thought she was. He told her that he could tell how old any one is by reaching down the panties. She wasn't the brightest woman ever so she said “OK.”
After a long time of “feeling around” he said “40.” She asked him how he did that. He told her that she would never reveal his secret. The lady told him that she would gladly pay him 20 dollars if he told her.
The man thought about this offer and decided to take it. He said “i was standing behind you at burger king!”

bear and a rabbit are walking through the woods when they come across a golden frog. They think this is an amazing discovery and they are even more amazed when it talks to them. The golden frog admits that he is a magical frog, and doesn't often meet other residents of the forest, but when he does, he grants them three wishes each.

The bear immediately asks that all the other bears in the forest be female. The frog immediately grants this wish.

The rabbit, after thinking for a while, asks for a crash helmet and one appears, which he places on his head.

The bear is amazed at this, but carries on with his next wish. He asks that all the bears in the neighboring forests be female as well.

This wish is also fulfilled.

The rabbit then wishes that he could have a motorcycle. It appears before him, and he climbs on board and starts revving the engine.

The bear cannot believe it. He remarks to the rabbit that he has wasted two wishes. Then, shaking his head, he makes his final wish, “I wish that all the other bears in the world be female as well.”

The frog replies that it has been done and they both turn to the rabbit for his last wish.

The rabbit thinks for a second, then revs up the engine and says, “I wish for the bear to be gay!” and promptly drives off as fast as he can.