Pete and Ralph are gay lovers who like to have sex in the shower. One day, while having their “fun” in Pete's Shower, the phone rings. Pete, in the bent over postion, says to Ralph, “I'm expecting a phone call, sorry, but I have to go get that and
while I'm gone, DON”T cum.“ Pete runs and gets the phone call and comes back to the shower where he sees Ralph waiting, with cum all over the walls. A little pissed Pete yells at Ralph, ” I thought I told you not to cum?“ ”I didn't Pete,“ Ralph explains. I Farted!”

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There are three dogs all in the pound. The first dog turns to the second dog and asks, “What are you in for?”
The dog replies, “Well my master said that if I keep chewing up the newspaper he will put me to sleep. I kept chewing them and today I'm getting put to sleep.”
The other dogs start to comfort him. The second dog turns to the third dog and asks him the same question. The dog saddly replies, “Well my master said that if I kept drinking out of the toilet I would get put to sleep. And here I am about to get put to sleep.”
The other dogs start to comfort him too.
Then the second and third dog turn to the first dog and ask him. The dog says, “When my master got out of the shower her towel fell off of her, and when she bent over I just couldn't help myself and started to fuck her up the ass.”
The dogs were like, “Oh, we understand why your getting put to sleep.” The first dog turns around and says, "I'm not here to get put to sleep, I'm here to get my nails trimmed!!!!!!