Hearsay In Court
Judge: Did you or did you not see the gun being fired?
Witness: I did not see it being fired. I only heard it.
Judge: Well, that's hearsay. It's inadmissible as evidence.
As the witness left the stand and walked back to his seat, his back was turned to the judge, at which point he laughed out loud. Immediately the judge recalled him to the bench and was about to hold him in contempt of court.
Witness: Did you actually see me laugh?
Judge No, but I heard you.
Witness: Isn't that the same kind of inadmissible evidence, Judge?
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Animal Sounds
A group of young children were siting in a circle with their teacher. She was going around in turn asking them all some questions…
Teacher: “Davy, what noise does a cow make?”
Davy: “It goes moo, miss”
Teacher: “Alice, what noise does a cat make?”
Alice: “It goes meow, miss”
Teacher: “Jamie, what sound does a lamb make?”
Alice: “It goes baaa, miss”
Teacher: “Jennifer, what sound does a mouse make?”
Jennifer: “Errr.., it goes.. click!?!”