enn einn í-meijl

AND THE YEAR IS STILL YOUNG…
Top 8 Morons of 2002

1. WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP?
AT&T fired President John Walter
after nine months, saying he lacked
intellectual leadership. He received
a
$26 million severance package. Perhaps
it's not Walter who's lacking
intelligence.

2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS:
Police in Oakland, California
spent two hours attempting to subdue a
gunman who had barricaded himself
inside his home. After firing ten tear
gas canisters, officers discovered
that the man was standing beside them
in the police line, shouting,
“Please come out and give yourself up.”


3. WHAT WAS PLAN B??? An Illinois man,
pretending to have a gun,
kidnapped
a motorist and forced him to drive to
two different automated teller
machines, wherein the kidnapper
proceeded to withdraw money from his own
bank accounts.


4. THE GETAWAY! A man walked into a
Topeka, Kansas Kwik Stop, and asked
for all the money in the cash drawer.
Apparently, the take was too small,
so he tied up the store clerk and
worked the counter himself for three
hours until police showed up and
grabbed him.

5. DID I SAY THAT??? Police in Los
Angeles had good luck with a robbery
suspect who just couldn't control
himself during a lineup. When
detectives
asked each man in the lineup to repeat
the words: “Give me all your money
or I'll shoot,” the man
shouted, “That's not what I said!”


6. ARE WE COMMUNICATING?? A man spoke
frantically into the phone, “My
wife
is pregnant and her contractions are
only two minutes apart!” “Is this
her
first child?” the doctor asked. “No!”
the man shouted, “This is her
husband!”

7. NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED!!
In Modesto, California, Steven
Richard King was arrested for trying to
hold up a Bank of America branch
without a weapon. King used a thumb and
a finger to simulate a gun, but
unfortunately, he failed to keep his
hand in his pocket.
(hellllllooooooo!)

8. THE GRAND FINALE (I LOVE THIS
ONE!!!) Last summer, down on Lake
Isabella, located in the high desert,
an hour east of Bakersfield,
California, some folks, new to boating,
were having a problem. No matter
how hard they tried, they couldn't get
their brand new 22 ft. boat going.
It was very sluggish in almost every
maneuver, no matter how much power
was applied. After about an hour of
trying to make it go, they putted to
a
nearby marina, thinking someone there
could tell them what was wrong. A
thorough topside check revealed
everything in perfect working condition.
The engine ran fine, the out drive went
up and down, and the prop was the
correct size and pitch. So, one of the
marina guys jumped in the water to
check underneath. He came up choking on
water, he was laughing so hard.
NOW REMEMBER… THIS IS TRUE … Under
the boat, still strapped securely
in place, was the trailer.
Does any one else find it frightening
the majority of these took place in
California?


:Þ