The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has been
reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European
Communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility. As
part of the negotiations, the British government conceded that English
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year Phased
Plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for short).

2003
In the first year, “s”; will be used instead of the soft “c”. Sertainly,
sivil servants will resieve this news with joy. Also, the hard “c” will be
replaced with “k”. Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typewriters
kan have one less letter.

2004
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the
troublesome “ph” will be replaced by “f”;. This will make words like
“fotograf” 20 per sent shorter.

2005
In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments
will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a
deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of
silent “e”s in the languag is disgrasful, and they would go.

2006
By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing “th”
by “z” and “w” by “v”.

2007
During ze fifz year, ze unesesary “o” kan be dropd from vords kontaining
“ou”, and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of
leters.

2008
Und after ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted inze
forst plas