It is near the end of the school year. The teacher has turned in
grades and there is really nothing more to do. All the children
are restless because of this. The teacher says, “Whoever answers
the questions I ask first and correctly can leave early today.”
Little Johnny says to himself “Good, I want to get outta here.
I'm smart and will answer the question.”

The teacher asked, “Who said ‘Four Score and Seven Years Ago’?”
Before Johnny could open his mouth, Susie said, “Abraham
Lincoln.” The teacher said “That's right Susie, you can go
home.” Johnny was MAD that Susie had answered the question first.

The teacher asked another question, “Who said ‘I Have a Dream’?”
Before Johnny could open his mouth, Mary said, “Martin Luther
King”. The teacher said, “That's right Mary, you can go.” Johnny
was even madder than before.

The teacher asked, “Who said ‘Ask not, what your country can do
for you’?” Before Johnny could open his mouth, Nancy said, “John
F.Kennedy”. The teacher said, “That's right Nancy, you may also
leave.”

Johnny was BOILING mad that he had not been able to answer to
any of the questions.

Then the teacher turned her back and Johnny said, “I wish these
bitches would keep their mouths shut!”

The teacher turned around and asked, “WHO SAID THAT?”

Johnny said, “BILL CLINTON, CAN I GO NOW?”








A group of girlfriends are on vacation when they see a 5- story
hotel with a sign that reads: “For Women Only.” Since they are
without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in.

The bouncer, a very attractive guy, explains to them how it
works. “We have 5 floors. Go up floor-by-floor, and once you
find what you are looking for, you can stay there. It's easy to
decide since each floor has a sign telling you what's inside.”

So they start going up and on the first floor the sign reads:
“All the men on this floor are short and plain.” The friends
laugh and without hesitation move on to the next floor.

The sign on the second floor reads: “All the men here are short
and handsome.” Still, this isn't good enough, so the friends
continue on up.

They reach the third floor and the sign reads: “All the men here
are tall and plain.” They still want to do better, and so,
knowing there are still two floors left, they continued on up.

On the fourth floor, the sign is perfect: “All the men here are
tall and handsome.” The women get all excited and are going in
when they realize that there is still one floor left. Wondering
what they are missing, they head on up to the fifth floor.

There they find a sign that reads: “There are no men here. This
floor was built only to prove that there is no way to please a
woman.”