Ha! They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist…

Don't unplug it, it will just take a moment to
fix.

What happens if you touch these two wires tog–

We won't need reservations.

It's always sunny there this time of the year.

Don't worry, it's not loaded.

They'd never (be stupid enough to) make him a
manager.

You can make it easy… that train isn't coming
fast.

Gimmee a match. I think my gas tank is empty.

Let's see if it's loaded.

Step on her, boy, we're only going 75.

Just watch me dive from that bridge.

If you knew anything, you wouldn't be a traffic
cop.

What? Your mother is going to stay another month?

Say, who's boss of this joint, anyhow?

“C'mon ya wimps, one more beer, it's open ocean
out there, what're we gonna hit?”
–Captain Hazelwood, Exxon Valdez

“Luke, I lied. Bill Shatner is your real father.”
–Darth Vader

“Don't worry about the Rover. That's no cliff.”
–NASA techie