When do you care for a man's company?
> > When he owns it.
> >
> > How many men does it take to wallpaper a bathroom?
> > Three, if you slice them very thinly.
> >
> > Why do men get married?
> > So they don't have to hold their stomachs in anymore.
> >
> > What are a woman's four favorite animals?
> > A mink in the closet, a Jaguar in the garage, a tiger
> > in the bedroom, and an ass to pay for it all.
> >
> > How do you get a man to do sit-ups?
> > Put the remote control between his toes.
> >
> > Why are dumb blonde jokes so short?
> > So men can remember them.
> >
> > What did God say after creating man?
> > I must be able to do better than that.
> >
> >
> >
> > What did God say after creating Eve?
> > “Practice makes perfect.”
> >
> > What's the difference between men and government
> > bonds?
> > Bonds mature.
> >
> > What is the one thing that all men at singles bars
> > have in common?
> > They're married.
> >
> > Why do men buy electric lawn mowers?
> > So they can find their way back to the house.
> >
> > Why are married women heavier than single women?
> > Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and
> > go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed
> > and go to the fridge.
> >
> > What do you call a man who has lost 95% of his
> > brainpower?
> > A widower.
> >
> > Man says to God: “God, why did you make woman so
> > beautiful?”
> > God says: “So you would love her.”
> > “But God,” the man says, “why did you make her so
> > dumb?”
> > God says: “So she would love you.”
> >
> > Why did Moses wander the desert for 40 years?
> > He wouldn't ask for directions.