How many honest,intelligent,caring men in the world does it takes to do the dishes?
Both of them.

Why did the man cross the road?
He heard the chicken was a slut.

Why don't women blink during foreplay?
They don't have time.

Why does it takes 1 million sperm to fertilize one egg?
They don´t stop and ask for directions.

How does a man show that he is planning for the future?
He buys two cases of beer.

What is the differnce between men and government bonds?
The bond is mature.

Why are blond jokes so short?
So men can remember them.

How many men does it take to change a roll of toiletpaper?
We don't know; it has never happened.

Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive,caring and good looking?
They all already have boyfriends.

What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
A widow.

When do you care for a man's company?
When he owns it.

Why are married women heavier than single women?
Single women come home,see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home,see what's in bed and go to the fridge.

How did Pinocchio find out that he was made of wood?
His hand cought fire.

What did God say after creating man?
I must be able to do better than that.

What did God say after creating Eve?
Practice makes perfect.

Man says to God:“God why did you make women so beautiful?”
God says“So you could love her”
“But God,” the man says,“why did you make her so dumb?”
God says“So she could love you”