It has been known for many years that sex is good
exercise, but until recently nobody had made a scientific study of the
caloric expenditure of different sexual activities. Now after original and
proprietary research they are proud to present the results.

REMOVING HER CLOTHES:
With her consent………………….. 12 Calories
Without her consent……………….. 187 Calories

OPENING HER BRA:
With both hands…………………… 8 Calories
With one hand…………………….. 12 Calories
With your teeth…………………… 85 Calories

PUTTING ON A PRESERVATIVE:
With an erection………………….. 6 Calories
Without an erection……………….. 315 Calories

PRELIMINARIES:
Trying to find the clitoris………… 8 Calories
Trying to find the G-Spot………….. 92 Calories

POSITIONS:
Missionary……………………….. 12 Calories
69 lying down…………………….. 78 Calories
69 standing up……………………. 112 Calories
Wheelbarrow………………………. 216 Calories
Doggy Style………………………. 326 Calories
Italian chandelier………………… 912 Calories

ORGASMING:
Real…………………………….. 112 Calories
False……………………………. 315 Calories

POST ORGASM:
Lying in bed hugging………………. 18 Calories
Getting up immediately…………….. 36 Calories
Explaining why you got out of bed immediately……816 Calories

GETTING A SECOND ERECTION:
If you are:
20-29 years old…………………… 36 Calories
30-39 years………………………. 80 Calories
40-49 years………………………. 124 Calories
50-59 years………………………. 972 Calories
60-69 years………………………. 2916 Calories
70 and over……………………. Results are still pending

DRESSING UP AFTERWARDS:
Calmly…………………………… 32 Calories
In a hurry……………………….. 98 Calories
With her father knocking at the door… 1218 Calories
With your wife knocking at the door…. 3521 Calories