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Marriage Humor


In the beginning, God created earth and rested.
Then God created man and rested.
Then God created woman. Since then, neither God nor man has rested.

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If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The Dog of course…at least he'll shut up after you let him in!

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Marriage is a three ring circus:
1.engagement ring
2.wedding ring
3.suffering

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Married life is very frustrating.
In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.
In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.
In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.

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A couple came upon a wishing well. The husband leaned over, made a wish
and threw in a penny. The wife decided to make a wish, too. But she
leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned.
The husband was stunned for a while but then smiled “It really works!”

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A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it because the thief was spending less than his wife did.

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First Guy (proudly) : “My wife's an angel!”
Second Guy : “You're lucky, mine's still alive.”

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A couple was having a discussion about family finances. Finally the husband exploded, “If it weren't for my money, the house wouldn't be here!”
The wife replied, “My dear, if it weren't for your money, I wouldn't
be here.”

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Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves.
After marriage, the “y” becomes silent.

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A little boy asked his father, “Daddy, how much does it cost to get
married?”
And the father replied, “I don't know, son, I'm still paying for it.”